You Know You Are a Hardcore BJJ Guy When...

when you are not a native speaker yet pronouce it with a portuguese accent

enjoy

"so what do martial art do you teach?"

"zju-zjit-zhu"

"zoo-what-su? what is that, some kind of russian martial art?"

"no it's brazilian... zju-zjit-zhu -- c'mon, you never heard of zju-zjit-zhu before?"

 

I use the accent when quoting brazilians. haha.

 

it's more like zhoo-zheeeeeeeet-ztsoo

 

that guy is saying zoo zishu

 

When you know that Underarmour is the Gi for No-Gi

 

when you see someone in a movie doing a rear naked choke, and you do one of two things
1) scream at the tv for the guy/girl to put the hooks in for more control
2) quietly sit there and mock the guy in your head for poor form, and how you could do it that much better

when you use terms like "shrimping" "oopa" "hooks" and various submissions in your day to day vocabulary expecting everyone you run into to know wat they mean

when you see people on the subway, and think how fast you could take them down and sub them

the way to size up a guy in a bar isnt to look at the physical size of his body, but to see if he has cauliflower ears

asking every person wearing a tapout, sprawl, affliction, extreme couture wat they train, usually getting the answer "i dont train, but i do watch the UFC" with your response being "oh..."

 

ZHuuu zjhitsssu

 

...when you go to hug grandma for thanksgiving dinner and go immediately for underhooks before she does!

 

that's how bj penn talks right?

 

when i'm on the subway and it breaks suddenly (and i'm not holding onto the bar for whatever reason) instead of taking a step forward to stop my fall, i'll reach back with one foot and get a butterfly hook around the pole, and continue to read my book.

 

When you pull guard on your dog? I've done it. He has a great guard pass, and I've side mounted him, and his shrimp is world-class.

And, I'm gonna open up here and admit it. I've been in the bedroom. And during our private time, I've triangled my girlfriend.

And every one of you fuckers know you've done it too, so don't try to pretend you haven't at least once.

 

I want a source for his statistics.

 

I taught my girlfriend the triangle. She pulled it off in bed once.

I am scared to go down on her now.

 

That guy gets on my fucking nerves, to be honest.

 

I can't count how many times mine has tried to "spoon"......and I set the hooks in and went from there. I can't help myself.

 

when me and my wife have sex i tell her to put me in her guard

 

When you go to get out of bed, you instinctively do a hip escape to get to the edge so you can get up.

 

best sex transition ever - trap and roll

 

" the way to size up a guy in a bar isnt to look at the physical size of his body, but to see if he has cauliflower ears"

... so true

 

when you're at a picnic/beach/campfire-- somewhere where people are sitting on the ground--, and then take mental note of those who didn't stand in base