Rumored You Are Now A Fighter. This Is Your New Life

[Sage NorthGOAT]

Trading driveway snow + Kim Winslow + $3.50 for Raven Haired Security Girl + Hotdog Brander. Serious offers only

 

[Super_Nintendo]

@ every fucker in here

 

[MuffinsAppletree]

I am married and stalked by the staring girl and we currently live in Portland, Oregon. Sensei Segal is my head trainer and we start off each session with doing lines of cocaine.
Once I am zooted, Sensei Segal beats me relentlessly with our gyms Shadface pillow for 5 five minute rounds. Each training day ends with all team members in the local bath house
After a long day/night, I gallop home to my trailer on Fedors horse and my wife stares at me while I sleep.

my life is great.

 

[zarboi]

 

[Young Calf Kick]

I’m a religious nut that lives in Aldo’s favela with my wife, the Platinum Princess. I’m being coached by Edmund (the greatest coach of all time), and drive around in Matt Hughes’ truck with my lucky charm UFC Hotdog Brander dangling off the rear view mirror.

 

[Buff]

There is a part 2 coming...

 

[gondo]

Raven hair
Aldo’s favela
Shadface pillow
Popeyes chicken
Khamzats jet ski

 

[CerebralKnievel]

There is a part 2 coming...

View attachment 940138

He should probably get some neosporin on those arms.

 

[Armbars]

I cant be arsed with all that you queer

 

[GGpX]

I have a great life with The Raven Haired Security Girl, living in Dana's mansion, but my coach Joshua Fabia keeps successfully inserting himself between me & the my beautiful security guard wife, maybe he's getting that far in my life because of the gigantic Ronday Rousey tattoo on my left thigh and the copious amounts of video games I play. But at least Khamzat let me borrow his jetski, right?

 

[Buff]

I cant be arsed with all that you queer

Oh no, however will I go on..?

 

[Zanmato]

I'm a Muslim with a lucky hot dog brander....sounds haram

 

[Freddy Fisticuffs]

genius thread, glad i got the pillow.

 

[kfighter]

Staring weigh in girl is my wife, Dana vegas mansion is where I live, Greg Jackson is my coach, shadface is my lucky charm, cocaine is my vice, and I drive Danas cars...man, I am winning in this life!

 

[Myrddin Wild]

My “Weigh in Security Lady” got a bad case of teh wandering eye... so I called me boiy Chael to hook us up wit a house in teh surrounding country side of Portland Oregon.

All waz well until coach Fabia caught her wandering eye... and I came home one night to find coach sitting on my lucky Shad Faced Pillow... which is obviously against my Religion... so I had Fedor’s Horse kick him in the nuts & I then grudge fooked her all night until the heartache went away.

 

[Mask Of Winters]

Okay, if I'm doing this right I'm married to the staring weigh-in chick, Dana's allowing me to live in his mansion for some odd reason, my coach is Joshua Fabia (I have to admit I don't know a lot about him), my lucky charm is the hotdog brander, I love my Popeye's chicken and I drive around Vegas in a truck that used to belong to Matt Hughes.

The irony is IRL I live in TN and I'm nowhere near redneck enough to eat fried chicken and drive that kind of truck. I did have a woman follow me into a bathroom at a bar once to check out my size (seriously, this was a thing that happened) so I guess I could get used to having a wife that always stared at me.

 

[Greta Thunberg]

Dagestan

Is this some sort of homage to a suicide vest?

 

[Captain Herb]

I'm a Muslim with a lucky hot dog brander....sounds haram

Can you afford all beef hot dogs? (In this fantasy scenario)

 

[Sgt Smith]

Do you want to be a fucking fighter?

 

[Mask Of Winters]

Can you afford all beef hot dogs? (In this fantasy scenario)

Beef hot dogs, you say? Now you've got me thinking about the best MMA physiques thread again...