- Joined
- Aug 18, 2014
- Messages
- 2,701
- Reaction score
- 2
I've been in/out of of therapy for a several years. At face value, I have a very good life; good job, lovely girlfriend, great family, great up bringing, and good friends. I'm 36 years old.
But around the age of 25, I began feeling exhaustion with life - in that I started asking myself, Is this it ? Work, sex, meet with buddies, hang out with girlfriend, rinse and repeat ? I began looking into the religions, and frankly, they're all 100% BS so please don't bother by telling me Try Jesus.
I don't believe in God or an afterlife - this is it. I have a few more decades on this planet and I'm bored out of my mind. I used to drink - a lot. But even that has lost its appeal. Television shows that I watched with earnest in my youth seem boring. TV really does suck these days - no heart or plot. Once in a rare while I'll find a movie that I can really get lost in without looking at my smart phone every three mins such as Sideways or The Big Lewbowski.
I've been diagnosed as having mild depression/anxiety/OCD and I have taken the meds. But they ultimately don't work because all they do is suppress my emotions. Inside, the haunting reality of the meaningless of life keeps striking me in the face and I feel as lost, confused, bored, and frustrated as ever.
I keep telling the doctors the same thing: I'M NOT DEPRESSED. I'M UTTERLY BORED WITH LIFE ! They keep telling me the latter is a false conclusion of the former, but I just don't buy it.
I don't value needing a big car, or house. I enjoy my job but after a while it's all routine. I feel all I'm doing is just wasting my time until I am no longer. That's what we all do. And if you're going to tell me Go volunteer or do charity, THAT'S NOT REAL MEANING. That's, again, something I'm just doing because I ultimately have no idea why I exist, why the Universe exists, or why there is not nothing.
And there it is: WHY IS THERE NOT NOTHING ? Why is there anything ? Until this question can be answered, how I can possibly be asked to care about anything else ?
But around the age of 25, I began feeling exhaustion with life - in that I started asking myself, Is this it ? Work, sex, meet with buddies, hang out with girlfriend, rinse and repeat ? I began looking into the religions, and frankly, they're all 100% BS so please don't bother by telling me Try Jesus.
I don't believe in God or an afterlife - this is it. I have a few more decades on this planet and I'm bored out of my mind. I used to drink - a lot. But even that has lost its appeal. Television shows that I watched with earnest in my youth seem boring. TV really does suck these days - no heart or plot. Once in a rare while I'll find a movie that I can really get lost in without looking at my smart phone every three mins such as Sideways or The Big Lewbowski.
I've been diagnosed as having mild depression/anxiety/OCD and I have taken the meds. But they ultimately don't work because all they do is suppress my emotions. Inside, the haunting reality of the meaningless of life keeps striking me in the face and I feel as lost, confused, bored, and frustrated as ever.
I keep telling the doctors the same thing: I'M NOT DEPRESSED. I'M UTTERLY BORED WITH LIFE ! They keep telling me the latter is a false conclusion of the former, but I just don't buy it.
I don't value needing a big car, or house. I enjoy my job but after a while it's all routine. I feel all I'm doing is just wasting my time until I am no longer. That's what we all do. And if you're going to tell me Go volunteer or do charity, THAT'S NOT REAL MEANING. That's, again, something I'm just doing because I ultimately have no idea why I exist, why the Universe exists, or why there is not nothing.
And there it is: WHY IS THERE NOT NOTHING ? Why is there anything ? Until this question can be answered, how I can possibly be asked to care about anything else ?