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Whay age did you learn most "friends" arent ride till you die?

I had a very nomadic childhood so friendships till today isnt something that is relatable. This was further amplified when in hospital for a month when diagnosed with colitis and none of these so called "friends" coming to visit.

So yes, at a very young age.
 
In me early 20s i had a lotta friends

Turns out most of them just wanted to party on my dime.

24 or so i figured it out
 
Lost a good mate due to me lending him £300 and I said he needed to pay be back by xmas and he never did, he kept putting it off but was buying shit and going on his own holidays. I finally confronted him, had a huge argument on a lads night out, and i told him to forget about the money and we never spoke again.

Had about 9 good mates, only speak to 3 now.
 
I learned pretty early on maybe 12 or so. Can't really blame people for stuff they do as kids though. Especially dudes some can be really uncontrollable at that age.
 
From as far as I can remember my dad was always telling me never to fully trust anyone, and while I had stuck with it for the most part, there were instances in my life where I slipped up. First was in college when I joined an Asian Canadian/American community type of thing, always talking about fighting racism and stereotypes and whatnaught, then when things was getting cool, there was news of Vietnam talking about China should return Spralty islands in the East China sea, and the cans immediately pulled a 180 and started going full neo-nazi on me, saying VN people are dogs, people who keep bothering China and "deserve to be exterminated", inferior sub-species, only the ones who had "Chinese blood" were intelligent, tall, and superior, "real" Vietnamese ethnic people are all 80 IQ subhumans are nothing but like n**gers but small cocks (odd considering they are yellow as well and it ain't like there's much deviation...). Odd is all are western born and raised but seemed to have big support for CCP.

The whole deal felt like a liver shot to me, talked about kumbaya unity, and equality, then pull that bullshit on me. Part of the reason I fell in with them was because of some discrimination from other groups back then (as cringy as that may sound on Sherdog), and this was supposed to be the place where that wasn't there. I ended up trying to prove it was all bs and went out to nail as many Chinese chicks as possible, mainly because it was all they were obsessed with but were too timid and shy to approach and get. Something about taking their "crown jewel" and making sure they saw me and knew what happened, I wanted to see what their excuse was that a "yellow n**ger" was able to accomplish what they couldn't. I guess in a way it was lesson in that It made me realize that in life its not about people's race, ethnicity, genetic makeup, skin, etc. there are people in life who get things, and people who will always be 2nd place and lower, as humans we do what we do to rise up, and flourish... and I just had to go out and forge that path for myself. It also taught me it wasn't hard to nail pussy as I thought it was. I will admit though it wasn't a good place for me, it was a pretty toxic time having been fueled too much by the opinions of lesser lame people with incel-like tendencies, looking back I shouldn't have let it impact my time that much.

They were I guess... a bit pissed at me after that, wouldn't even talk to me anymore, badmouthed the chicks I was dating, gave me dirty looks whenever we saw each other on campus or around the fast food places in the area. That was the biggest betrayal I guess to me, I was 19 at the time. Made me really see race / ethnic groups as bullshit and someone's always there to try to take advantage. Told my dad later on, and he told me that's what you get for trusting commies (lol), then told me more war stories of the war which I've been told almost every day from when I was a kid. I figured people who experienced discrimination would try to not let it happen to others and make something of it, but I guess some people take the low road and try to push others down to prop themselves up. oh well.

The other I guess was more recently (3-4 years ago) when I realized my MMA gym wasn't my second family I thought it was, and gym loyalty is overrated talk for someone who just wants to maintain memberships and coast through life. Turns out a couple of my close teammates who I thought were my bros 4 life from this (we competed together and MMA/combat sports was all we "lived for") were more about loyalty to the gym than I thought, and kinda stopped talking to me when I left. I do still have a few close friends from that gym and we still talk daily.

I appreciated your story, young man. You came out of that more mature and wise than those frienemies ever did.

"Skinfolk ain't always ya kinfolk."--Black-American proverb
 
I started learning it in 4th grade when the schools started an accelerated learning program. There were enough children that there were two classrooms for each grade with about 35 students in each class. It was decided to split the students into classes according to their scores on standardized tests at the end of each school year. I was in the higher scoring class. Of course it became a smart kids vs dumb kids. There was a lot of resentment and it became a situation where there wasn't much interaction between kids in different classes so I lost some of my friends.

There was also a lot of tension in the higher scoring class about test scores through the school year and you could lose friends because you scored higher than they did.

The accelerated classes were designed to prepare students for college. By the time we got to high school, we were a year ahead of where students our age would normally be. We moved to a different city when I was 16. That school system didn't have an accelerated program so as a junior, I was in classes with seniors and it wasn't easy to make friends.

The friends I did make later soon proved to just be friends because of things I could do for them.
 
i'd say in my late teens to early twenties. and i guess it makes sense. that's the time when you're beginning to carve out your own niche in life. if your friends at the time are either distracting you from that task, or are off doing their own thing, then it's natural to begin to lose the close connection. you can still be friends at a distance, though it's important to remember that not everyone is going to stop what they're doing, to help you out. understand that, and no longer being as close to friends won't be such a big deal.
 
I do wear the peaky blinder style hat. Well played J...
310
 
I had a very nomadic childhood so friendships till today isnt something that is relatable. This was further amplified when in hospital for a month when diagnosed with colitis and none of these so called "friends" coming to visit.

So yes, at a very young age.
I moved around loads too so learned not to be the best of friends with people because in a year or so all you'd be doing is writing letters. Sad really.
 
Just before turning 30. Got divorced after deployment and all the sudden friends I'd had for like a decade, boom, gone.
 
I moved around loads too so learned not to be the best of friends with people because in a year or so all you'd be doing is writing letters. Sad really.

19 moves in my first 26 years, 3 provinces and several cities. I know the feels...it sucked ass. You learn to self isolate well, thankfully that has come in handy during covid.
 
Mother's funeral. I couldn't be there, friend said she would go in my place and she didn't go. I didn't ask it of her but my step dad was looking out for her.
We've since fallen out, real shame.
That's sick. There are so many sociopaths out there, I wish they all had flashing orange lights over their heads.
 
Around age 20. High school graduation was a holocaust as far as my social life was concerned.
 
Lost a good mate due to me lending him £300 and I said he needed to pay be back by xmas and he never did, he kept putting it off but was buying shit and going on his own holidays. I finally confronted him, had a huge argument on a lads night out, and i told him to forget about the money and we never spoke again.

Had about 9 good mates, only speak to 3 now.
 
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