What's your home defense plan?

[Rob Battisti]

I have a Machete, a single-handed Norse battleaxe, a Fairburn-Sykes Commando Knife and several Kali fighting sticks.

And I sleep in the nude; one look at my naked body and the home invaders would be fighting each other to get out of my house.

Once, while absolutely stoned, I told my buddy that I had a hatchet next to my bed along with my Glock and he absolutely lost it thinking about how absurd it would be to wake up, naked with a gun in one hand a hatchet in the other as intruders came into my room.

 

[KnightTemplar]

Once, while absolutely stoned, I told my buddy that I had a hatchet next to my bed along with my Glock and he absolutely lost it thinking about how absurd it would be to wake up, naked with a gun in one hand a hatchet in the other as intruders came into my room.

We're not allowed firearms in the UK, of course, so I have to make do with blades and impact weapons. And psychological warfare. To paraphrase Harry Callahan, when a home invader sees a naked man with a machete and a hard-on, he doesn't figure the guy is going to offer him a nice cup of tea.

 

[Fedorgasm]

I've got a mean backhand.

 

[Sweater of AV]

Uppercuts. They can pick the room.

 

[Bathwater]

I've got a mean backhand.

 

[whocares]

I've seen plenty of Steven Seagal movies, I think I'll be ok.

 

[William Huggins]

You're planning to kill me with diabetes and heart disease?

I'm afraid his poor heart might give out ........at least his tapeworm will attend the funeral.....

 

[Brom Bones]

Die

 

[HHJ]

 

[Prologue]

OP clearly looking to see what various Sherbro defenses are so he can hot knife them.

 

[plataoplombo]

Oof, that'd be a bad night for them. Like many, I sleep naked and I ain't shy. Main goal is to slow them down and buy enough time to mobilize. First intruder probably won't make it and if I get felled by the second, he probably die from gunshots, stabbing and being bludgeoned. There's too many people and too many weapons all over the house.

We're not even into weapons or violence like that. Just stuff that's been accumulated over the years that get left in random places around the house. Plus construction tools.

 

[Slothbroth]

 

[Wilmer Digreux]

Yeah real bright tell anonymous strangers on the internet all your security details

 

[Bia]

just when you think stabbing with a cold blade is not painful enough

 

[DragRacer]

Kick the wife towards the intruders so they get distracted trying to rape her, then I can take my time with picking headshots off every one of the degenerates so they can’t sue me or come back for revenge.

 

[Fury]

You're planning to kill me with diabetes and heart disease?

Don't forget the self-loathing that comes with McDonald's

 

[GSP_37]

Does Amazon sell ninja swords?

 

[Thepaintbucket]

Most people aren't prepared and will never be prepared. It's just luck of the draw.

If you live anywhere in the country definitely get dogs, cameras, fences, guns and pepper spray.

 

[pugilistico]

I just have my left hook and maybe I throw my coffee filter at them. It's kind of heavy. I also don't have anything to steal so if anyone breaks into my place, jokes on them.

 

[irish_thug]

View attachment 1076826

Diddy?