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The Worst American Food

Madmick

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Sloppy Joe's.

Don't know why I posted this. I remember in my elementary school, once every two weeks we would get sloppy joe's, and it was the most putrid, unctuous, gelatinous, vile heap of brown mess I have ever encountered. Every day we would enter the cafeteria I would be so excited (because I was f'ing hungry...for the guys on the board who know my profile, you can guess why), and my entire freaking day was ruined when we filed through those doors and that compromised swath of assmeat vapor smacked me in the face.

And worst of all, I caught shit for it. Because it was the most popular menu item at our school.

This is an American tradition that needs to stop. I would rather be served sushi in a public cafeteria than sloppy joe. Just think about that name for a second: "sloppy joe." What else is sloppy? You got it, sloppy seconds.

To conclude, sloppy joe's are that bacteria-infested, armpit-flavored item much like the girl you banged after your girlfriend stuffed you at prom; that skank you lie about to this very day. Sloppy Joe's is like the that trashy white slut in the back of the class even Puerto Rican sluts won't talk to.

I hate them, and I think they should be on the FDA's chopping block instead of steroids.
 
Uh oh.

Sorry, Urban, I got lost coming back from the bathroom. Thought I was in Dieting and Supplements.
 
Dude, after reading that description of why you hate Sloppy Joes (which before reading, I really did not mind all that much) I will never eat another one.

I am also going to have to add to that list, McDonalds Hamburgers. I don't think I've ever eaten one without biting down on a bone. That just ruins the whole, one step closer to a heart attack, experience for me.
 
I gotcha Mick, thread moved.
 
I like em.

When I make them myself.

Good lean beef, seasonings, onions, served hot on a toasted hoggie or roll, mmmm.

Cafeteria versions? Watch out.
 
White Castle Burgers are the worst food in the world. They are much worse than any cafeteria sloppy joe.
 
mhalp said:
White Castle Burgers are the worst food in the world. They are much worse than any cafeteria sloppy joe.
On this, we shall agree to disagree, or if we cannot come to that consensus, I will choose to simply dislike you.

Yes, over sloppy joes.
 
I think Spam is worse in every use of the word. Oh! and cornbeef
 
Spam is bad for you? Come on, that's the original fighting man's food, popularized by WWII vets! One slice a day (and nothing else) makes a man lean, mean, and hungry for Nazi spleen!

Now, even the best Philly Cheese Steak will kill a man. Sign me up!
 
First of all, schools use 3rd quality beef which is so crappy it has to be blended with soy (points at supersudo) to meet FDA regulations... but that's not the point. Sloppy joes are yummy and hell I go to the bars for a slut every now and then. Sloppy or not they sure hit the spot.
 
I agree. sluts hit the spot....*raises an eyebrow*
 
DridenGX said:
I think Spam is worse in every use of the word. Oh! and cornbeef

mmmmmmmmm. potted meat product.

cfiore6006 said:
Spam is bad for you? Come on, that's the original fighting man's food, popularized by WWII vets! One slice a day (and nothing else) makes a man lean, mean, and hungry for Nazi spleen!


Hmmmm. I think I see Matt Furey's next product. "Lean, Mean, Nazi fighting Diet!! Long lost diet secrets of the 'greatest generation'. Told to me, Matt Furey, directly by 90 yo Seargent Major blah blah."
 
The FDA is the most corrupt government organization in the world. Anyone agree with me? If you have any questions I'll tell you everything I know.
 
mhalp said:
White Castle Burgers are the worst food in the world. They are much worse than any cafeteria sloppy joe.

Ive never eaten at white castle but all of my friends say they are like amazing. do they really suck?
 
TaiKai Fighta said:
The FDA is the most corrupt government organization in the world. Anyone agree with me? If you have any questions I'll tell you everything I know.

totaly. rules in the FDA are past to help big buisness. they have no intrest in our actual health.
why else is aspertame around still? the chemical that turnes into a nerve toxin when consumed.
 
I'm not so sure about aspertame. I consume enought diet coke, that if it were toxic, I would be long dead by now.
 
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