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The War Room Awards – Put Your Mouthpiece In.
Alright you animals, it’s award season again. Time to lace up the gloves, touch hands if you’re pretending to be civil, and then immediately start throwing haymakers.
This is a tongue-in-cheek protect-yourself-at-all-times awards thread. If you’ve got a glass jaw, low fight IQ, or can’t handle getting clipped, this ain’t your division. This is the War Room, not the feelings forum.
I’ll be running 10 awards. For each one, the top two nominees by votes make it into a final poll. Polls allow up to 20 options.
Call out your friends. Call out your enemies. Call out that guy who shadowboxes talking points. As always feel free to give you buds props and your enemies their dues
Card subject to change. All votes will be hand counted by LMP.
Alright you animals, it’s award season again. Time to lace up the gloves, touch hands if you’re pretending to be civil, and then immediately start throwing haymakers.
This is a tongue-in-cheek protect-yourself-at-all-times awards thread. If you’ve got a glass jaw, low fight IQ, or can’t handle getting clipped, this ain’t your division. This is the War Room, not the feelings forum.
I’ll be running 10 awards. For each one, the top two nominees by votes make it into a final poll. Polls allow up to 20 options.
Call out your friends. Call out your enemies. Call out that guy who shadowboxes talking points. As always feel free to give you buds props and your enemies their dues
Main Card
1. Best Right Wing Poster
Your favorite “I’m actually a centrist bro” Neo liberal fascist. Claims he hates labels, votes red every time, and somehow thinks authoritarianism is fine as long as his guy is doing it. Still posts hard, shows up daily, and throws combos instead of running.
2. Best Left Wing Poster
Karl Marx reborn with a Sherdog account. Forever chasing the perfect society that has never worked and never will. Talks down to the unwashed masses from the moral high ground, but damn it, they’re articulate and always in the fight.
3. Worst Right Wing Poster
Gets his news the same way he gets his cardio: never. Repeats Facebook talking points like a parrot with CTE, screams “FAKE NEWS” while citing an uncle’s Thanksgiving rant. Pure panic wrestling with zero defense.
4. Worst Left Wing Poster
The political equivalent of crying in the octagon after missing weight. Self-righteous, permanently offended, and fueled entirely by spite. Thinks they’re morally undefeated while being the most miserable person in the room.
5. Best Mod
All mods are solid cornermen, but one stands above the rest. Keeps the chaos controlled, calls it straight down the middle, and doesn’t let personal politics affect the stoppage. You may boo them but you respect them.
6. Best Ban
Pour one out — actually don’t. Thank the gods this poster is gone. How they survived this long without being TKO’d by a mod is beyond comprehension. Career officially over. May the ban hammer rest heavy.
7. Most Likely to Get Banned
You can see it coming like a slow-motion head kick. Zero discipline. Zero self-control. Already typing the post that gets them walked out by security. Odds-on favorite to be gone by the next awards, maybe by the time this one is over.
8. Starman Memorial Award
Given to the poster who folds every time they get pressed. Tucks tail, edits posts, disappears mid-argument, and maybe comes back two days later pretending nothing happened. Fight-or-flight always chooses flight.
9. Worst Thread
The absolute bottom of the card. The thread that made you ask: why was this sanctioned? Zero substance, zero entertainment, and somehow still went 10 pages. Shameful performance.
10. Hack Savage Award
Politics as team sports. Defends their side no matter how stupid the take. Thinks they’re the authority on every subject and never taps, even when fully locked in a submission of facts.
Under Card
Worst mod.
How the hell is this person still a mod? Constantly saying ridiculous shit, acting completely unprofessional, and somehow finding new ways to make every situation worse. They argue like posters, mod like fans, and carry themselves like someone who forgot they’re supposed to be the adult in the room. Every time they post, you brace yourself because you know it’s either going to be embarrassing, biased, or just plain stupid. Watching them moderate is like watching a ref who’s clearly bet on the fight. I didn’t nominate them out of hate, I nominated them because I’m shook.
Best Thread starter
The poster who consistently drops threads that actually get replies instead of dying on page one. Knows how to frame a topic, stir shit just enough, and keep people coming back for more rounds.
Worst Thread starter
Every thread is either half-baked, already done 20 times, or so stupid you wonder if it was posted during a blackout drunk. Career record: 0–15 with 15 first-round TKOs.
You sound poor
Given to the poster whose arguments boil down to jealousy, cope, or obvious bitterness. Every post reeks of “that’s unfair” energy. Whether it’s money, success, or status, this guy is mad he doesn’t have it.
Best Thread
The rare thread that had it all: volume, chaos, good arguments, bad arguments, meltdowns, and memorable quotes. People bookmarked it. Mods hovered. Legends were made.
Best insults
This award goes to surgical strikers only. No spray and pray name calling. just clean, devastating lines that get quoted, reposted, and still hurt three pages later.
Best troll
The elite level instigator. Never breaks character, never overplays their hand, and somehow gets people to write essays in response to obvious bait. Walks away untouched while the forum burns behind them.
Furthest to the right:
So far right they’ve fallen off the political compass and hit Facebook comment hell. Every post reads like it was typed with one finger while nodding aggressively. Thinks nuance is weakness and disagreement is treason. Permanently shadowboxing enemies that don’t even know who they are.
Furthest to the left:
Lives so far left they’ve lost contact with reality, grass, and normal human speech. Communicates exclusively in slogans and moral lectures. Somehow convinced they’re smarter than everyone while repeating the same three takes like they’re sacred scripture. Exhausting, smug, and wrong with confidence
Actually in the center:
The rare poster willing to shut up, listen, and look at actual facts instead of team talking points. Doesn’t melt down when confronted with evidence and can change their mind without acting like it’s a personal loss. Both sides hate them because they won’t blindly parrot bullshit. In a forum full of ideology and ego, this person accidentally acts like an adult.
Most likely to be antifa:
Looks like a background character in a protest video. Entire worldview powered by outrage, cosplay rebellion, and the belief that screaming louder equals being right. Would absolutely deny being Antifa while checking every single box. Permanently furious, permanently online, permanently useless.
Would let them date my sister:
Rare War Room honor. Disagrees without being a psycho, argues without melting down, and doesn’t give off unhinged energy. Might still be wrong, but at least you trust them not to embarrass the family during the holidays.
1. Best Right Wing Poster
Your favorite “I’m actually a centrist bro” Neo liberal fascist. Claims he hates labels, votes red every time, and somehow thinks authoritarianism is fine as long as his guy is doing it. Still posts hard, shows up daily, and throws combos instead of running.
2. Best Left Wing Poster
Karl Marx reborn with a Sherdog account. Forever chasing the perfect society that has never worked and never will. Talks down to the unwashed masses from the moral high ground, but damn it, they’re articulate and always in the fight.
3. Worst Right Wing Poster
Gets his news the same way he gets his cardio: never. Repeats Facebook talking points like a parrot with CTE, screams “FAKE NEWS” while citing an uncle’s Thanksgiving rant. Pure panic wrestling with zero defense.
4. Worst Left Wing Poster
The political equivalent of crying in the octagon after missing weight. Self-righteous, permanently offended, and fueled entirely by spite. Thinks they’re morally undefeated while being the most miserable person in the room.
5. Best Mod
All mods are solid cornermen, but one stands above the rest. Keeps the chaos controlled, calls it straight down the middle, and doesn’t let personal politics affect the stoppage. You may boo them but you respect them.
6. Best Ban
Pour one out — actually don’t. Thank the gods this poster is gone. How they survived this long without being TKO’d by a mod is beyond comprehension. Career officially over. May the ban hammer rest heavy.
7. Most Likely to Get Banned
You can see it coming like a slow-motion head kick. Zero discipline. Zero self-control. Already typing the post that gets them walked out by security. Odds-on favorite to be gone by the next awards, maybe by the time this one is over.
8. Starman Memorial Award
Given to the poster who folds every time they get pressed. Tucks tail, edits posts, disappears mid-argument, and maybe comes back two days later pretending nothing happened. Fight-or-flight always chooses flight.
9. Worst Thread
The absolute bottom of the card. The thread that made you ask: why was this sanctioned? Zero substance, zero entertainment, and somehow still went 10 pages. Shameful performance.
10. Hack Savage Award
Politics as team sports. Defends their side no matter how stupid the take. Thinks they’re the authority on every subject and never taps, even when fully locked in a submission of facts.
Under Card
Worst mod.
How the hell is this person still a mod? Constantly saying ridiculous shit, acting completely unprofessional, and somehow finding new ways to make every situation worse. They argue like posters, mod like fans, and carry themselves like someone who forgot they’re supposed to be the adult in the room. Every time they post, you brace yourself because you know it’s either going to be embarrassing, biased, or just plain stupid. Watching them moderate is like watching a ref who’s clearly bet on the fight. I didn’t nominate them out of hate, I nominated them because I’m shook.
Best Thread starter
The poster who consistently drops threads that actually get replies instead of dying on page one. Knows how to frame a topic, stir shit just enough, and keep people coming back for more rounds.
Worst Thread starter
Every thread is either half-baked, already done 20 times, or so stupid you wonder if it was posted during a blackout drunk. Career record: 0–15 with 15 first-round TKOs.
You sound poor
Given to the poster whose arguments boil down to jealousy, cope, or obvious bitterness. Every post reeks of “that’s unfair” energy. Whether it’s money, success, or status, this guy is mad he doesn’t have it.
Best Thread
The rare thread that had it all: volume, chaos, good arguments, bad arguments, meltdowns, and memorable quotes. People bookmarked it. Mods hovered. Legends were made.
Best insults
This award goes to surgical strikers only. No spray and pray name calling. just clean, devastating lines that get quoted, reposted, and still hurt three pages later.
Best troll
The elite level instigator. Never breaks character, never overplays their hand, and somehow gets people to write essays in response to obvious bait. Walks away untouched while the forum burns behind them.
Furthest to the right:
So far right they’ve fallen off the political compass and hit Facebook comment hell. Every post reads like it was typed with one finger while nodding aggressively. Thinks nuance is weakness and disagreement is treason. Permanently shadowboxing enemies that don’t even know who they are.
Furthest to the left:
Lives so far left they’ve lost contact with reality, grass, and normal human speech. Communicates exclusively in slogans and moral lectures. Somehow convinced they’re smarter than everyone while repeating the same three takes like they’re sacred scripture. Exhausting, smug, and wrong with confidence
Actually in the center:
The rare poster willing to shut up, listen, and look at actual facts instead of team talking points. Doesn’t melt down when confronted with evidence and can change their mind without acting like it’s a personal loss. Both sides hate them because they won’t blindly parrot bullshit. In a forum full of ideology and ego, this person accidentally acts like an adult.
Most likely to be antifa:
Looks like a background character in a protest video. Entire worldview powered by outrage, cosplay rebellion, and the belief that screaming louder equals being right. Would absolutely deny being Antifa while checking every single box. Permanently furious, permanently online, permanently useless.
Would let them date my sister:
Rare War Room honor. Disagrees without being a psycho, argues without melting down, and doesn’t give off unhinged energy. Might still be wrong, but at least you trust them not to embarrass the family during the holidays.
Card subject to change. All votes will be hand counted by LMP.
