The craziest liars youve ever known...

[scorpipede]

Oh shit. Here we go.
Edit: Scott Parker already posted the story.

At my last job, we had a supervisor who was a compulsive liar. I would be taking with some coworkers about something like dislocating my shoulder, and she would come up and talk about how she had dislocated her shoulder, blah blah blah. She would always have a story about whatever you were talking about that happened to her somehow.

Once, we were talking about The JFK assassination. She said she remembered watching it on TV when it happened or something like that. She was born two years after it happened.

She would routinely assign an employee to do one thing. Then, after it was done, she would claim she had told them to do the opposite. And she would call them out in front of other managers, like they weren't doing their job. Even if you printed out her email proving she never said to do something, she would insist she did. Over half her time on the office was spent searching for that elusive email that she claimed she sent, but never did. Just an absolute nightmare.

She was also helping another employee embezzle $40000 and then some.

if it was always so many degrees more extreme than yours you worked for my sister in law. Can't stand that lying *$#&.

 

[Jack Reacheround]

if it was always so many degrees more extreme than yours you worked for my sister in law. Can't stand that lying *$#&.

It's one thing to just lie when making small talk. But she was damaging my career and the careers of my coworkers by constantly blaming them when she fucked up.

 

[Henry Swanson]

spot on

I can't remember if it was him or another guy who said that hockey was easy to play and that he knew what he was talking about because he "played NHL in highschool."

 

[Henry Swanson]

I've posted before about a guy I used to work with.

- retired, elite black ops sniper with over 200 confirmed kills.

- proficient in 13 musical instruments.

- could speak 12 languages

- had bedded over 500 women

- 12 custom made choppers all by Jesse James. Collection valued at over 2 million dollars.

- a vintage les Paul collection valued at over 1 million dollars.

- vintage Rolex and Patek collection valued at over 1 million dollars.

- owned a mansion in Seattle that he rented out to Bill Gates.

Oh. Did I mention that I worked with this guy? Yeah he sold mattresses at the store I worked in the warehouse for.

He ended up getting fired when a customer called him on his claimed military experience. I guess this customer was a retired vet and took offense to his bullshit. Ended up complaining to management.

 

[MMA IAN]

Guy who bought weed off us several years ago



-Earns over $3,000 a week from fixing computers in his spare time but always had to ask for tic for $50 bags....

- Made $400,000+ on Bitcoin, bought a $20,000 Rolex but never wears it because he's scared he'll get jumped. Never showed us at his house either because it was always getting repaired or cleaned

- Bought a new HSV (powerful aussie V8) with his Bitcoin money, then crashed it drag racing a ferrari (he was winning of course) and got scared of driving.....That's why he always walked or rode a pushbike to our house. Girlfriend said he's never had his licence.

-Got a purebred pitbull from 'a pitbull breeder he knows' brings it round one day and It's an American Bulldog

- Claims Bulldog is trained to perfection, dog literally ignores anything he says and he has to grab it by the scruff because it doesn't want to leave our house and go home with him. His dog would escape his house and come to ours because of the conditions he left it in.

-Saw RSPCA van at his house driving past, asked him why, he said he called their vet out to check on his pregnant dog because they have a really good vet, found out from his girlfriend their neighbours called the RSPCA on him because of the conditions. The RSPCA took all his dogs except 2 (he had about 8, a lot of pups he didnt sell)

-Owned the house he lived in, it is his girlfriends parents rental, pays them $400 a week and they 'love him' girlfriend told us he owes her parents over a years rent

- Had a brain tumour and had brain surgery for it, never showed us his scar claims it 'healed really well', sensitive subject etc

-Always banging 10/10s gf is a hard 4 at best

-Claims godlike status on putting computers together, built friends computer, started making funny noise. Pulled it apart and he'd put the fan in back to front.



Kept us amused for a few years, but eventually started calling him out on it and he slowly stopped telling stories to us.

 

[Seano]

I knew a legitimate pathological liar once. He would sit there and tell you the most absurd stories that he'd just make up on the fly. Totally serious the whole time too.

I was at his place and Walker Texas Ranger was on and suddenly he's telling this story of how Chuck Norris backed down from him in a street fight.

He invented the skateboard.

Widening the turnpike was his idea, but others stole the idea and took credit for it.

One day he was in Florida and a guy pulled up in a sports car ( I don't recall what kind of car he said but a high end sports car) got out of the car, didn't say a word and handed him the keys. Later he found several pounds of pure, uncut cocaine in the trunk.

 

[ShinkanPo]

Oh shit. Here we go.
Edit: Scott Parker already posted the story.

At my last job, we had a supervisor who was a compulsive liar. I would be taking with some coworkers about something like dislocating my shoulder, and she would come up and talk about how she had dislocated her shoulder, blah blah blah. She would always have a story about whatever you were talking about that happened to her somehow.

Once, we were talking about The JFK assassination. She said she remembered watching it on TV when it happened or something like that. She was born two years after it happened.

She would routinely assign an employee to do one thing. Then, after it was done, she would claim she had told them to do the opposite. And she would call them out in front of other managers, like they weren't doing their job. Even if you printed out her email proving she never said to do something, she would insist she did. Over half her time on the office was spent searching for that elusive email that she claimed she sent, but never did. Just an absolute nightmare.

She was also helping another employee embezzle $40000 and then some.

Please tell me that son of a bitch got fired and executwd.

 

[Scerpi]

I've posted before about a guy I used to work with.

- retired, elite black ops sniper with over 200 confirmed kills.

- proficient in 13 musical instruments.

- could speak 12 languages

- had bedded over 500 women

- 12 custom made choppers all by Jesse James. Collection valued at over 2 million dollars.

- a vintage les Paul collection valued at over 1 million dollars.

- vintage Rolex and Patek collection valued at over 1 million dollars.

- owned a mansion in Seattle that he rented out to Bill Gates.

Oh. Did I mention that I worked with this guy? Yeah he sold mattresses at the store I worked in the warehouse for.

He ended up getting fired when a customer called him on his claimed military experience. I guess this customer was a retired vet and took offense to his bullshit. Ended up complaining to management.

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Please tell me that son of a bitch got fired and executwd.

Nope. The guy in charge of all of them got fired. But not for that.

 

[scorpipede]

It's one thing to just lie when making small talk. But she was damaging my career and the careers of my coworkers by constantly blaming them when she fucked up.

sounds like a compulsive need to have influence. also sounds like what went around came around and smacked that bitch in the back of the noggin. gotta love it when it turns out that way.

 

[Jack Reacheround]

sounds like a compulsive need to have influence. also sounds like what went around came around and smacked that bitch in the back of the noggin. gotta love it when it turns out that way.

No, nothing happened to her. The investigation was getting close to her, so she took off and found another job. Only her boss got fired, and not for the embezzlement. But our legal dept. was so happy to have her leave that they just let her walk.

 

[scorpipede]

No, nothing happened to her. The investigation was getting close to her, so she took off and found another job. Only her boss got fired, and not for the embezzlement. But our legal dept. was so happy to have her leave that they just let her walk.

oh, your boy said she has a shit job now though. That's kinda nice.

 

[ironwolf]

I had a friend named Mike who was a compulsive serial liar, but extremely charismatic and convincing to where you wanted to believe him despite knowing it was bullshit. He was a great guy and didnt seem crazy, but he genuinely believed the nonsense he talked... Its like he felt that he had to pretend he had a crazy/awesome life or people wouldn't like him, and the stories got out of hand.

Some of his claims:

- Claims to have dated Amy Jo Johnson (pink ranger) and Allison Hannigan.. even going so far as to fake receive a call from her and have a full on conversation in front of us.

- Claims to have been in the running for Anakin in Episode 2, and that Natalie Portman is a terrible kisser and the reason why he didnt get the part was the lack of chemistry.

Claimed to be a multi-time world champion at a card game called L5R (I beat him the first time I ever played the game after a crash course in the rules with one of his own decks)

- Claimed to be one of the best Tekken 3 players in the world (he was decent, but one of my friends who was an arcade junkie smoked him like a mesquite log with multiple characters, I could beat him regularly as well)

And the best one...

- He claimed that he used to be a highly trained assassin who trained in Japan under some martial arts masters and that his Katana was forged specifically for him (I never asked him why it had the exact same scabbard as one I bought from BudK for 20 bucks.)

Despite these outlandish claims, the guy worked selling Cell phones and lived with his parents despite at the time being in his late 20's.

I like the katana stories. In fact I love all weapon based lies...."this was given to me by a seal" etc, etc.

 

[georgekillian]

I had a roommate that was in his early 40s, a horrible alchoholic, worked at a tool store, and every aspect about his appearance and persona screamed 'loser.'

And he claimed he played two years with the Green Bay Packers.

I respectfully called him out on it, telling him if he played in the NFL, then he has a bachelor's degree from college, and he's currently working as a stock clerk... alongside teenagers.

Pretty much guaranteed your roommate was a liar but you don't have to have a bachelor's degree to play in the NFL. Plenty of guys leave early for the draft without getting their degree. Again guy is still a liar though.

 

[TankAbbott4Eva]

On our trip down the beach after we finished high school one of my mates was having no luck with the ladies (I jagged a fattie but that's another story). Anyway one morning he told us how he got really drunk and didn't remember the night, he woke up with his pants down and a used condom next to him so he claimed that as losing his virginity! We did mention it might have been a bloke of course.

 

[ironwolf]

Well I live in China so I meet a lot of creepy foreigners that are basically failures at their lives back in the west and have nowhere else to go.

There's this one old guy, he's like a fat hunchback. He's constantly telling stories.

-sniper for the French foreign legion
-fought in Africa
-shot twice
-killed a French officer for treason
-cut a guys arm off because he was bit by a snake.....(for reals he said that)
-broke his arm jumping off a tank
-owned 2 trucking companies-
-made over 2 million dollars every Valentine's Day from delivering roses with his company
-was called in as a sniper during hurricane Katrina
-has been in the underground bases below Denver hundreds of times
-500+ halo jumps with the ffl
-trained Canadian and American snipers before the Iraq war

It goes on and on with this guy....in fact he's a 65 year old guy who teaches English to kids that are 4-7 years old now because "he refuses to live in America because of their taxes"......lol

 

[GearSolidMetal]

Pretty much guaranteed your roommate was a liar but you don't have to have a bachelor's degree to play in the NFL. Plenty of guys leave early for the draft without getting their degree. Again guy is still a liar though.

Ah ok. I'm a casual football fan, not necessarily of any particular team, but I love watching an exciting game.

Don't pay attention to the draft or backroom politics.

 

[strike63]

On the other side of the coin, I have had some crazy shit happen to me. When I tell people the stories, with no embellishment, they have to think I'm lying. Nobody ever says anything though. But I would think I was lying too.

Same. I've had what many believe to be an unusual life.

Let's hear some of these stories

 

[Jack Reacheround]

oh, your boy said she has a shit job now though. That's kinda nice.

I'm not entirely sure he is correct about that. It would be nice to think so. She does have to commute an hour each way now. But her job is probably just standard.

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Let's hear some of these stories

Edit: just realized this was more like 15 years ago. Not 11. Holy shit.
I told this one here after it happened. It was like 11 years ago I think.

I was hanging out with my friend who we will just call Carlos, and smoking a blunt before I had to take off for school. We did our thing and I drove to campus. There were two choices for parking here - pay a lot to park in the lot where shit gets stolen, or park in the park where more shit gets stolen but it's free. I had chosen the park. Now, it was Summer and a good 90 - 100 degrees outside. As I am rolling into the park, I notice a couple of Hmong/Vietnamese guys standing by all the cars, one of them wearing a parka. As soon as I saw that jacket, I knew what they were up to. But I couldn't be late to class.

As I was walking from my car to the campus, I realized my stoned ass had forgotten to remove the detachable face for my stereo. But I was running late, and had gone too far to go back and get it. So I called Carlos and told him there were guys stealing stereos in the park, told him where my car was, and asked him to check on it for me. He said he would. So I went to class.

Class ended, and I had a voicemail on my phone. It was Carlos. He checked on my car and everything was good. I walked through the park and as I got close to my car, I noticed the Hmong guy in the parka was a little closer to it than I would have liked. As soon as he saw me coming, he took off. I got to my car and when j opened it I saw my detachable face was gone. And the motherfuckers left a pack of cigs on my front seat with one cig in it. I lit that bitch up and sueveyed the park for the guy's friend. I found him.

As I kept an eye on him, I sat in my car and called the cops. They said it would be a while before they got there, like an hour or something. But I had to get to work. So I called Carlos and told him what happened. He said he was on his way.

So Hmong #2 is still in the park, after his buddy ran off, trying to play it cool like he wasn't involved. He was sitting by a pond in kind of a peninsula in the park. I was parked on one side, and soon Carlos parked on the other side and we got out and walked toward each other.

I said to Carlos, "hey man, do you have a cigarette?" He replied no. So I turned to the Hmong guy and said, "do you have a cigarette?" He said no. Then I said, "do you have my fucking stereo?" as I threw his empty pack of cigs and nailed him center mass. All the blood left his face and panic set in. Carlos starts fucking yelling at him. He is trying to pretend he is innocent, but his attempt is futile.

He finally admitted he was involved, but says his friend has my stereo. So I asked what his friend's name was. He said Alex. I said, "there are no Hmongs named Alex." At this point we're threatening him and he is shitting his pants way harder than I thought he would. There is a reason for that we will get to later.

So he finally agrees to give it back to me. He starts walking off to the right. We say, "hold up. Give us your wallet." This way he can't just run away. He has no wallet, so Carlos takes his watch, which was pretty nice. So now he starts walking off to the left. He gets into a car, pulls something out, and we yell at him to drop it and walk over to us. I confirm it is my stereo, we give him his watch, and part ways. So we think.

As I am on my way to work, the police call me. They picked the guys up from my description. And when they are talking to me within earshot of them, they use my full name. I'm pretty sure these kids remembered it from that. I tell the cops I have to be at work and I can't ID them. So they are let go.

Later that night, Carlos and I are hanging out, and talking about the day. Now, remember how the dude was shitting his pants way more than I thought he would? Well, it turns out Carlos was flashing a gun on him the whole time. Not a real gun. A pellet gun. But it looked very real. Now, Carlos is no gangsta. He is just a stand up guy; and while I probably would have told him to leave that shit at home if I had known about it, since guns can escalate a situation more than I would like them to, it may also be the reason we got the stereo back.

Fast forward a few months later, I am driving around in that same car, with two friends. We just saw a friend's band play a show, and we are headed to my dad's house for whatever reason. We get to a stop sign just behind our old high school. Three Asian chicks, who are pretty hot, roll up next to us and they are saying something to us. I roll down the window, hoping they tell us they want to blow us all or some stupid shit like that. They say, "Do you know David Williams?" or some name like that. I ask my friends if they ever heard of the guy and they say no. So I shout to them, "sorry. No." Then I hear them say, "are you sure?" as they pull in front of us, blocking any path out of there except backward.

All three of these bitches exit their car with guns in one hand and a red bandana in the other. My friends and I start collectively shitting our pants. I throw my 1988 Toyota Camry into reverse, floor it, and turn the wheel. Well, I turned it the wrong way so I backed over the curb. I'm already thinking plan b will be to jump out, KO a bitch, take her gun, and shoot the others. But first, let's see if I can get off this curb.

As these bitches rapidly approach the car, I throw it into gear and floor it. The car jumps of the curb and we start flying down the street. I am telling everyone to get down in case they open fire. Luckily they don't. But the one who was closest to me had her hand on the door ha le just as we sped off. It was that close. We decide the best thing to do is get the fuck out of the neighborhood and head out to my band's music studio, which has a gated entrance.

Now, I am not entirely sure if the two incidents are at all related. But those girls were not trying to steal my car. They tried their best to conceal their guns until they were close enough to the car that they could open the doors. So what do you think? As it just a coincidence? Or were they out to avenge their brothers or friends who we shook down for my stereo?