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Notice how he never followed up on this point! I sense some tension in the Rimbaud's household. Stay strong bro! Don't let your relationship fall apart over one movie!
Ah heck yes this movie is just replete with subtle moments of characterizations.
Barry Lyndon really can be quite a shit at times (never can forget that time he blew tobacco-smoke in his wife's face). But he's also a person of profound personal wants and desires. Namely, his desire to have a child and find a father-figure.
The movie starts with his father being killed in a distance while he was a child. Then we're introduced to him sitting between a statuette of a child with his cousin (eww!).
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The two people he shows most affection for (save his son) are his father figures, Captain Grogan and Chevalier du Balibari.
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Now, hold onto your... Austrian hotel chair because I'm about to go all conspiratorial, tin-foil hat on this story.
Watching Barry Lyndon... I've grown kind of obsessed with the idea that the narrator is lying about Barry Lyndon's own thoughts and desires.
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Now I can't quote the movie verbatim but I would like to present these two instantes of examples of my well-funded, non-crazy paranoia.
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The first is the time where Barry stays the night with the German widow. As soon as he rides away, the narrator dismisses the occurance between the two as a tawdry little thing. Something disreputable, a fulfillment of base desires.
But... looking at Barry and the German widow's interactions... honestly, up until that point in the movie, Barry had never looked happier! And the widow seem to really dug him too! I don't think at all it's a coincidence that she's cresting a baby as they have their moment of intimacy since a son is what Barry desires the most and spending this night with her and the kid only enforced the fact that what he really wants is fatherly bliss.
Basically, the voice-over guy completely misread the emotional profoundness of the situation. He looked at it through the lens of a genteel, upper-crust aristocrat where non-marital one-night-stands are by definition disreputable and tawdry.
The second example is when Barry meets the Chevalier. The voice-over guy claims that Barry starts crying due to the "splendor of his appearance, the nobleness of his manner, and the friendliness of his voice."
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But... the Chevalier doesn't display any of those qualities! He's just some pudgy guy whose sitting these eating his lunch! And he's not especially friendly with Barry either until Barry starts to weep and he embraces him.
Basically... the voice-over guy highlights the Chevalier's "aristocratic" aspects as to why Barry reacts so strongly to him. When, in fact, it's the opposite, he's just some unpretentious Irishman who Barry instantly recognizes as another father-figure. Not an aristocrat, but a card-cheating rouge just like himself.
Again... the voice-over guy takes the viewpoint of the 1800's century genteel culture. He's judging Barry after those cultural mores and therefor often impart the wrong message about Barry's nature!
In conclusion: I would like to say that I'm not crazy. In fact, I'm the only one whose not crazy!
Those are some damn fine theories europe. On my phone now so can't type much, but I honestly can't find anything to disagree with in what you said. I was certainly thinking that as far as the father figure element, but the unreliable narrator is an interesting idea. His voice gives such a sense of calm and certainty, there is a gravitas there. We are given the sense he knows what hes talking about. But I can certainly see what you mean, and that could be Kubricks way of transposing the literary technique to film.

