Practical Life advice/Survival tips vol 1

[Osculater]

Bring le lube when banging a post-op

 

[Pecker123]

Don't listen to advice on the internet.

 

[AlphaCo]

Before you leave the house, slip a dryer sheet in your butt crack. If you fart, it will muffle the sound just a bit, but it will smell like fresh clothes right out of the dryer.

 

[Cherdawg]

Dont date homosexuals unless you're a homosexual.

 

[Jack Handy jr]

My life advice:

don't ever use petrol as an accelerant.

yeah starting your grill with gasoline is a bad bad idea I almost burned down my house like that

 

[Jack Handy jr]

37 years is a long time to come up with that.

I am full of information sir it's up to you to decide what is useless, or useful. I feel like I consider my self a mayberry elder .I've banged more quiff, pissed more blood, and drank more beer (in my heathen days)then all you fools combined, listen and learn Josh.

 

[huskylord]

the man who rides two horses must fall

 

[edco76]

Never play leapfrog with a unicorn

 

[SherdogGoat]

Don't jack off without locking the door.

 

[ObsoleteSoul]

Wipe back to front.

 

[weed]

always wear a condom.


I have two on, right now.



lubed & ribbed.

 

[Carl Drogo]

Sunscreen

 

[sangreporsangre]

Blind date? What decade did you write this in TS?

 

[Long Dark Blues]

Don't trust women's selfies taken from an overhead angle.

 

[Shayo]

Don't care what others think

 

[SMillard]

with your eyes closed or in the dark they are all 10s

don't go cheap, if you want to buy something get the quality model the first time or you'll probably end up buying it the second time

don't smoke weed before scuba diving

 

[Sir Burton]

don't smoke weed before scuba diving

did you freak out or something?

 

[WorldofWarcraft]

Don't buy things you can't afford through credit.

 

[j123]

Looked at the title and was expecting some outdoor survival/zombie apocalypse shit.

This thread delivers.

 

[Kanuck99]

When in doubt, ask for ID.