Discussion in 'Mayberry Lounge' started by Jack Handy jr, Jun 3, 2014.
Your wife will eventually look like her mom.
If there is grass on the field play ball....ask for id first
CHL for high chancellor of Mayberry......:icon_surp
Lurking for ten years? Sounds legit.
Good thing my girls mom looks great for 65. Save like wisdom here
Don't rush into doing anything. Think about it first.
If your tight on money stop all the auto bill pay stuff. If your balance if low something will catch you off guard and overdraft your shit.
I didn't, it was my roommate and his two friends.
I had the flag and stayed sober it was like trying to corral cats, I swear the compression at depth increases the effects. One of them tried to buddy breath with fish including a barracuda, another kept picking up the same shell, show it to "everyone" putting it down, swim away, circle back and pick up the same shell again. The third was going around screwing with other people's anchors trying "pull" their boat.
the worst part was a couple weeks later they all went out on the boat again with six strippers.
My roommate comes home and says "you won't believe what happened" then tells me about going out on the boat with a cooler full of beer, plenty to smoke, another cooler full of food, the six strippers and the three of them. Then after a detailed account of what happened I said "and you didn't think to ask me to go?" he answered "I wasn't sure you'd be down for that kind of thing"
Skin on Skin or don't go in
The ribbed one's on inside out isn't it?
Always act on your instincts.
The longer you wait for something, the less value it has for you.
Keyword: Friend zone
They better invite you again:icon_cry2
Always double check your resume before sending it off. A couple years ago my sister proof read my resume. She had used the correction markers through Word make the changes. By the time I received it back it was full of a lot of little notes. I read through each one and made the appropriate corrections. From there, I located the tab that said" remove markers" and removed them. I was very comfortable with my final draft so I decided I would use it to apply to a position I had a contact from. So I drafted up a cover letter, attached my "final resume" and sent it off.
A few minutes later, I thought that maybe I should go back and recheck everything to make sure it all went through. When I went to my sent folder, I opened the email I sent to the company, and then opened my resume. Annnnd it had all the markers/corrections (all in red) my sister had made for full display.
Needless to say, I never ended up getting a call. But it certainly was an important lesson to double check everything before sending anything off.
survival tip. firstly r.i.p Man vs Wild. What ever you make think of Bear Grylls, imo he was the sheeet. now, if you ever find your self stranded in the Sahara, and you happen upon a side winder snake. try to grab the snake by the tail, until it strikes at you. as it strikes it is imperative that you catch it with your left hand. Now proceed to cut its head off with your survival knife, separate the snake, from its skin, make a make shift wine skin like bottle out of the snake's skin, urinate in the skin (to drink later if H20 is hard to find) eat the snake meat fresh. I actually saw Bear due this on an episode of Man vs Wild years ago, this is a legit survival tip.
Never pee into to the wind while sitting in a boat without a paddle and no condom on.
survival tip. if you ever find yourself about to get "jumped" mentally chalk this experience in the "L" column now to escape this with some degree of ego intact. start bagging your self into a corner or keep your back to a wall. identify which attacker is the most slight of build or just the smallest guy then throw the first punch.
flip your wolverine berserker fury on the little guy and just beat the living shit out of him. while his buddies are well kicking the shit out of you lol. By the time a bouncer reaches you, you'll have your ass kicked, but at least try to send one of them to the hospital!
Never start a land war in Asia.