Social Powerlifter vs Chimpanzee

[emefer]

To everyone saying the chimp would fuck the powerlifter up with its teeth, I have a proposal. The chimp is muzzled so that it can't use its teeth. To be fair, the powerlifter is muzzled as well., and both of their fingernails are cut down so that they can't stratch or whatever with them. Who wins now? I tend to think the chimp still jumps on the powerlifter and gouges his eyes etc.

Lame

 

[Sweater of AV]

An MMA fighter could beat a chimp too.

Chimps ain't that scary unless you're facing more than one. Or if you're old and weak.

I bet BJJ even works on chimps. Imagine getting one of those long arms in an armbar or kimura.

Get a chimps back, flatten him out, go for the rear naked choke. He can't bite if you're under his chin.

Chimps don't have great weapons. Their teeth are kinda scary but not as scary as most animal teeth. They don't have claws, and their arms and hands are only good for grabbing, they don't know how to use their strength to throw punches so much of their strength is irrelevant.

Elbow and knee that fucker in the head and he'll want to stop fighting real quick.

There was a chimp attack where a healthy adult male human beat the shit out of a huge 6 foot 260lb chimp with a log that was lying around. Now obviously the log stacked the odds in favor of the human, but most chimps aren't that big, and an MMA fighter can do a lot of damage without a weapon.

This is a serious fantasy world, no offense.

If you want to listen to a hilarious discussion (I've timestamped the specific relevant part but the whole thing is pretty funny):

 

[Fedorgasm]

This is a serious fantasy world, no offense.

If you want to listen to a hilarious discussion (I've timestamped the specific relevant part but the whole thing is pretty funny):

What makes him the authority on the subject? He's never fought a chimp.

I have provided a real life example of an untrained man beating the shit out of a huge chimp with a log. And a log is a clumsy weapon too. I doubt the man was very fast with that log.

So if you remove the log but make the man very strong/athletic/skilled, I think he stands a good chance.

People mention the savagry but they're forgetting that animals can be savage but their equally likely to be giant pussies too. Many animals give up and run away the minute they get even slightly hurt, or frightened, or confused. They don't have any qualms about running away. If you convince them that it's risky to fight you, they'll often retreat.

 

[Sweater of AV]

What makes him the authority on the subject? He's never fought a chimp.

I have provided a real life example of an untrained man beating the shit out of a huge chimp with a log. And a log is a clumsy weapon too. I doubt the man was very fast with that log.

So if you remove the log but make the man very strong/athletic/skilled, I think he stands a good chance.

People mention the savagry but they're forgetting that animals can be savage but their equally likely to be giant pussies too. Many animals give up and run away the minute they get even slightly hurt, or frightened, or confused. They don't have any qualms about running away. If you convince them that it's risky to fight you, they'll often retreat.

What makes him an authority on discussing trying to use BJJ on a chimp? Is that a serious question? No one is really an authority but that's as close as you're going to get.

I don't know about some random example of a guy using a log on a chimp. Until I know all of the details I don't really care, especially considering it's outside of the boundary of the discussion.

Apparently, you're also forgetting humans are even bigger "pussies" than most animals. Do you really think a human is just going to walk through their nuts being ripped off? One bite to the face and it's a wrap for virtually everyone.

 

[blaseblase]

An angry chimp doesn't have any boundaries. Humans don't have a natural instinct to rip someone's dick off or bite their nose off. We just throw hands or grapple.

 

[Brampton_Boy]

we know about cases of chimpanzees mauling regular people, but a world champion powerlifter is not a regular person.

In fact, a world champion powerlifter might be able to maul regular people in an even more effective and faster manner than chimpanzees do.

so the question remains, who wins a fight between a powerlifter and chimpanzee?

A world class powerlifter would be slow and have limited mobility. Chimp by mauling all day long.

 

[Fedorgasm]

I don't know about some random example of a guy using a log on a chimp. Until I know all of the details I don't really care, especially considering it's outside of the boundary of the discussion.

I found the video, hopefully timestamped it right for those that only want to see the part about the log.

 

[Sweater of AV]

I found the video, hopefully timestamped it right for those that only want to see the part about the log.

So let me get this straight. A chimp (that we don't know anything about) was brutally mauling a human being and his friend grabbed a large log and bashed the chimp with it causing it to leave...and this is your reasoning for why a man would beat a chimp in 1-1 unarmed combat?



Sherdog bless.

 

[Cajun]

To everyone saying the chimp would fuck the powerlifter up with its teeth, I have a proposal. The chimp is muzzled so that it can't use its teeth. To be fair, the powerlifter is muzzled as well., and both of their fingernails are cut down so that they can't stratch or whatever with them. Who wins now? I tend to think the chimp still jumps on the powerlifter and gouges his eyes etc.

Powerlifter needs a chastity belt to keep the chimp from making him trans then the match is set

Otherwise it will be short work once the chimp goes to work on the balls

 

[Fedorgasm]

So let me get this straight. A chimp (that we don't know anything about) was brutally mauling a human being and his friend grabbed a large log and bashed the chimp with it causing it to leave...and this is your reasoning for why a man would beat a chimp in 1-1 unarmed combat?



Sherdog bless.

It's the only evidence we have of a healthy man in his prime who's not afraid to fight back against a chimp.

Most people (like his friend) get paralyzed with fear and don't fight back.

But even the chimp expert in the video said he has to convince the Chimp of 2 things:

A. I'm not afraid of you
B. I can hurt you

Once the chimp is convinced of those 2 things he runs away. As nearly any animal will do, except for perhaps a mother protecting her young.

 

[Sweater of AV]

It's the only evidence we have of a healthy man in his prime who's not afraid to fight back against a chimp.

Most people (like his friend) get paralyzed with fear and don't fight back.

No, it's not. Most people that are attacked try to fight back. They don't just lie there and let the champ maul them. You found a video where an adult male was getting decimated and his friend used a weapon.

But even the chimp expert in the video said he has to convince the Chimp of 2 things:

A. I'm not afraid of you
B. I can hurt you

That certainly helps, however it's extremely difficult to do that unarmed 1 vs 1.

Once the chimp is convinced of those 2 things he runs away. As nearly any animal will do, except for perhaps a mother protecting her young.

No, most animals don't just automatically run away if they're engaged in a fight with you and you aren't afraid.

You're completely out to lunch. Let me guess, you also think you can take out a grizzly by acting tough?

 

[Fedorgasm]

No, it's not. Most people that are attacked try to fight back. They don't just lie there and let the champ maul them. You found a video where an adult male was getting decimated and his friend used a weapon.



That certainly helps, however it's extremely difficult to do that unarmed 1 vs 1.



No, most animals don't just automatically run away if they're engaged in a fight with you and you aren't afraid.

You're completely out to lunch. Let me guess, you also think you can take out a grizzly by acting tough?

If the grizzly wants to fight then no, but people have scared them off just by yelling or banging pots together.

 

[Sweater of AV]

If the grizzly wants to fight then no, but people have scared them off just by yelling or banging pots together.

That's typically a bad strategy if a grizzly happens to find you but sure, strange things happen.

So you've gone from "I could easily beat up a chimp" to "maybe if I yell a lot or have a weapon then I'll get lucky and it will run away."



This might be the dumbest post I've seen this year:

An MMA fighter could beat a chimp too.

Chimps ain't that scary unless you're facing more than one. Or if you're old and weak.

I bet BJJ even works on chimps. Imagine getting one of those long arms in an armbar or kimura.

Get a chimps back, flatten him out, go for the rear naked choke. He can't bite if you're under his chin.

Chimps don't have great weapons. Their teeth are kinda scary but not as scary as most animal teeth. They don't have claws, and their arms and hands are only good for grabbing, they don't know how to use their strength to throw punches so much of their strength is irrelevant.

Elbow and knee that fucker in the head and he'll want to stop fighting real quick.

There was a chimp attack where a healthy adult male human beat the shit out of a huge 6 foot 260lb chimp with a log that was lying around. Now obviously the log stacked the odds in favor of the human, but most chimps aren't that big, and an MMA fighter can do a lot of damage without a weapon.

Lmao at "much of their strength is irrelevant." By the way, do you have any proof the chimp was 6 foot, 260 lbs?

 

[Fedorgasm]

By the way, do you have any proof the chimp was 6 foot, 260 lbs?

No. That incident in the video that I posted, I watched another video covering that same incident where they claimed he was 6 foot 260. But then I looked it up and chimps don't even get anywhere near that size.

The video I posted seemed to have a more accurate portrayal, I think they even said he was 130 or 140 lbs.

 

[Sweater of AV]

No. That incident in the video that I posted, I watched another video covering that same incident where they claimed he was 6 foot 260. But then I looked it up and chimps don't even get anywhere near that size.

The video I posted seemed to have a more accurate portrayal, I think they even said he was 130 or 140 lbs.

So you have no clue about what you're trying to discuss.



"I'd knee that fucker in the head and he'd run away right quick."

 

[Fedorgasm]

So you have no clue about what you're trying to discuss.



"I'd knee that fucker in the head and he'd run away right quick."

Chimps being even smaller than I initially thought only makes my argument stronger. You guys are ridiculous thinking these things are monsters. They're not tigers or bears.

 

[Sweater of AV]

Chimps being even smaller than I initially thought only makes my argument stronger. You guys are ridiculous thinking these things are monsters. They're not tigers or bears.

No, it doesn't. It just proves your incompetence.

You haven't provided a single instance of an unarmed man scaring off an adult male chimp that's attacking him.

 

[Fedorgasm]

No, it doesn't. It just proves your incompetence.

You haven't provided a single instance of an unarmed man scaring off an adult male chimp that's attacking him.

You haven't provided any examples of dudes that are stronger than the average human losing to a chimp either. Which was the premise of this thread.

Until someone starts an ultimate fighting chimp-ianship it's all going to be my opinion vs yours.

 

[Sweater of AV]

You haven't provided any examples of dudes that are stronger than the average human losing to a chimp either. Which was the premise of this thread.

Until someone starts an ultimate fighting chimp-ianship it's all going to be my opinion vs yours.

You provided the example of a guy getting mauled by a chimp, almost dying, and needing his friend with a weapon.

Thanks for proving my point.



You are an absolute brick.

 

[Quadtavius Tuck]

@Sweater of AV simping for chimplets incessantly proves he is a shill for big monkey

Those hairy little retards stand no chance against the average 6'8 350 sherdogger with chastity belt and goggles