Porch pirates stealing my packages. Advice welcome

Thepaintbucket said:
Have your packages sent to one of your friends or relative's house instead. That's what my friend does
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Should I pick a friend who is less poor than me and lives in a nicer neigborhood?

Should I buy him a gift for doing me the favor, or has life rewarded them him enough?
 
Get a fucking ring door cam, then report them to the police.

Any door cam. It doesn’t have to be Ring. It’s not like they sponsor me or something.
 
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Fla graplr said:
It's irritating and costing me money which are two things im not guna sit and do nothing about.

So, without hiding to fill the room with uppercuts or using a camera as the person doing it is using a mask I believe, what should I do?

I read a bunch of options via Google search but im thinking more like a bait package with a tracking device in it to see if its one of my neighbors or not ( apt complex). I am not that familiar with such things and it would need to be cheap as I will never see it again.
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Tell the cops and Amazon. Then order a giant bad dragon dildo. Watch the hilarity happen
 
Fla graplr said:
I like where your heads at with this. Seems a little slippery slopeish to unibomber stratosphere for my tastes tho.

I just hope he gets stabbed with his most recent theft of my Japanese knife set. That would be some god tier karma
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Fuck thieves.
 
Crass fvid, funny setup bait guy, thief gets justice, beautiful outcome.
That design for the porch bait package for the win.



THEfightsAREfixed said:
Are lethal options prosecuted successfully in your legal jurisdiction?
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C' mon TfAf, it's happening in the state proclaiming "Protesters Are Speed Bumps".


Those porch pirates deserve serious enough repercussions that will end that habit. Video showed different cars F'n stalking behind the FedEx trucks to get packages ASA delivered.
 
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trapdoor-simpsons.gif
 
I'd just start ordering really cheap shit on Amazon like playdough or crayons and get a camera. if it gets stolen send the pictures or videos to the cops. If not return to Amazon ir create art.
 
I'm sorry that sucks, especially if you're expecting something expensive or important like medication to be delivered.

Our forum's very own @lsa is a porch pirate. Maybe he can share some insight as to why his fellow porch pirates do this to people.
 
Slobodan said:
I'm sorry that sucks, especially if you're expecting something expensive or important like medication to be delivered.

Our forum's very own @lsa is a porch pirate. Maybe he can share some insight as to why his fellow porch pirates do this to people.
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and you are a butt pirate

I only steal medicine and expensive stuff.
If you buy shit from Shein and Temu I will piss on your porch and set your lawn on fire.. be warned
 
lsa said:
and you are a butt pirate

I only steal medicine and expensive stuff.
If you buy shit from Shein and Temu I will piss on your porch and set your lawn on fire.. be warned
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Look at Mr fancy pants here
 
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Get a bottle of n-butyric acid fill a condom up with it then blow the condom up with air.

Take a box and line the bottom with industrial double sided tape and place the balloon in the box carefully till it makes contact with the double sided tape now place a sheet of cardboard to cover the top and use the double sided tape to cover both sides and place that carefully on the balloon, now tape up the box and place old shipping labels on it, leave this outside.......
 
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