Porch pirates stealing my packages. Advice welcome

[GSP_37]

Is it possible to bribe a cop to park his car in front of your house eating donuts and watching Netflix until Amazon comes? Of course the bribe includes preventing porch pirate from stealing yo shit.

 

[ShadowRun]

I think they can deliver to certain locked places at gas stations and what not, amazon pick up zones.

 

[UberHere]

There is nothing cops love more than an easy collar. If you have the person on video, they can use traffic cameras in the area to identify them.

They do that shit for homicides and high profile cases, not a stolen package.

 

[UberHere]

Options:


1- Catch the guy.

Leave any package, but plan it ahead by setting up an air tag in it which will report the location to you.

Do this with something tempting like tech or audio gear and good chance the person takes it home.

Hide it well, and take care to make the package look as though it hasn't been open.

Up to you if you would like to really ruin their life by doing this with an item of sufficient value to warrant a felony charge. Usually $950-1000 but may vary by location.


2- embarrass or prank the person.

I'd watch Mark Robers video series on his exploding and stink bomb porch pirate bait setups. Maybe even worth checking to see if he sells them. He went all out on the last video I saw and had cameras air tags, noise makers, stink bomb, exploding dye packs and all set on a timer so it could go off in their car or at their house and the reactions were captured on video.

Even with only the audio that was pretty funny. The fart spray going nuts followed by get that the hell out of here

 

[jeff7b9]

This is when you hide and start mentally preparing to unleash your best dropkick to the back of said perps....

About 20 years ago some jackass came into my yard to put a Chinese food menu on my door and left my gate open, resulting in me waking up to having to chase my golden retriever mutt thru downtown Burbank CA in nothing but my undies.


Saw that fucker going up the street about a week later putting menus up.

Got my garden hose with the gun attachment ready.

Fucker opened my gate, left it open again, and I BLASTED that sum bitch with the garden hose.


Oooooooooeeeeee


He did not like that.

Said something about wanting to fight. I accepted.

He charged forward. I blasted him with the garden hose again.

He was soaked. He might as well have jumped in a pool.

That was fun.


For the most part I am very thankful to have grown up having had my most mischievous years occur prior to the time where EVERYTHING was captured on video camera...


But I would have loved to see the video of that interaction.
For sure it would have gone viral to the tune of millions of views.

It was hilarious.

Menu guy was BIG MAD.

I was also not a fan of him.

 

[Natural Order]

About 20 years ago some jackass came into my yard to out a Chinese food menu in my door and left my gate open, resulting in me waking up to having to chase my golden retriever mutt thru downtown Burbank CA in nothing but my undies.


Saw that fucker going up the street about a week later putting menus up.

Got my garden hose with the gun attachment ready.

Fucked opened my gate, left it open again, and I BLASTED that sum bitch with the garden hose.


Oooooooooeeeeee


He did not like that.

Said something about wanting to fight. I accepted

He charged forward. I blasted in with the garden hose again.

He was soaked. He might as well have jumped in a pool.

That was fun.


For the most part I am very thankful to have grown up and particularly having had my most mischievous years occur prior to the time where EVERYTHING was captured on video camera...


But I would have loved to see the video of that interaction.
For sure it would have gone viral to the tune of millions of views.

It was hilarious.

Menu guy was BIG MAD.

I was also not a fan of him.

You and I would get in trouble drinking together lol

 

[jeff7b9]

You and I would get in trouble drinking together lol

If you ever find yourself in Northern NJ on a fight night hit me up and we can drink beers and create chaos.

 

[Don Quixote]

Start leaving trash you don’t want and that is not valuable for them to take away.

 

[Jack Reacheround]

They do that shit for homicides and high profile cases, not a stolen package.

I have literally seen them do it for a stolen package.

 

[Flower2dPeople]

I would put a job application and a paternity test on the front porch. That'll keep them out.

 

[BluntForceTrama]

Make a decoy package and place an IED in it

Place on porch.


Wait

 

[HeffDoesWant]

Im thinking a bottle full of piss with some sort of Gerry rigged weak plugging system that starts leaking piss once the box is moved.

 

[mozfonky]

Just have delivery hide package somewhere or take to back porch unless you want revenge.

 

[Jesus X]

I'd just start ordering really cheap shit on Amazon like playdough or crayons and get a camera. if it gets stolen send the pictures or videos to the cops. If not return to Amazon ir create art.

The cops here would not do a single thing I have people stealing my bike on video and they didn't do anything for two years. Personally I'm not even sure if they actually filed the report they didn't sign my copy of the report.