Can totally relate to this. I spent four years on a college Judo team with a wrestling background, and I think the only guys who truly became smooth with kazushi were the guys who started Judo as kids and were already shodan when they started college. Guys like me who started Judo at 18 (and were thrown into daily randori without having mastered the throw mechanics) were having to go 100% muscling the shit out of everything against other guys doing the same. So I was either getting clowned by the truly advanced guys who started as kids, or engaging in rock 'em sock 'em TD wars without ever getting to flow or work on finesse.
Ironically, I feel like I've improved my Judo throw mechanics more by standing up with BJJ guys - more relaxed and no pressure since most of them suck at TDs. I can almost always get what I want and they're less stiff and more willing to concede the TD if I time it right, so I'm not having to fight strength on strength against some berzerker fighting the TD to the death and trying to turtle out of everything.