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My mother is dieing

messi_is_imba said:
In 10 days it will be 1 year since my mother died from als..went from healthy to dead in 6 months..due to covid i couldnt be there for her
Like every other mother she provided me with enormous levels of love and affection...

I am 36..healthy and alive..but only on paper..inside i am rotten with guilt and remorse..i pray every night that i dont wake up

My father died when i was 3 and she was 30
.never remarried...worked her ass off to provide me and my brother with decent upbringing

Nothing is stronger then ones mother
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2 years tomorrow since my mum died. I sent my step-dad wine and chocolates so he can get drunk and fat.

@ripsta619 I'm dreadfully sorry to hear about this. Seeing our parents go while it's inevitable is never easy. I hope you both get through it as best as possible, you're in my thoughts.
 
FourofAkind said:
Man, I am so sorry to hear this and i'll be sending prayers and good vibes your way. I lost my mother to brain cancer and she was on hospice but I was able to be there with her as well as my other family members so I cannot imagine not being able to be by her side. What Bobby said above, pray. I'm also not a religious guy but I'll be praying for you and your mother. If you need to vent or need advice on how to cope, DM me. I've had to deal with alot of death and i'm not even 40. You will get through this, I promise. It'll be hard as hell and it's an emotional roller coaster for quite some time, but you'll get through it.
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Im 34 goin on dont know how many. Never tried to keep count. Dont want too. But like I said it means a lot for you guys have have done with the positive vibes. Just did laundry real quick and seein a kid with his mom almost broke me. Thought I would be be stronger in this situation I was wrong.
 
fingercuffs said:
2 years tomorrow since my mum died. I sent my step-dad wine and chocolates so he can get drunk and fat.

@ripsta619 I'm dreadfully sorry to hear about this. Seeing our parents go while it's inevitable is never easy. I hope you both get through it as best as possible, you're in my thoughts.
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I am just so mad because i missed seeing her during covid. Of course couldnt allow me to visit bforehand since a lot of people needed care where she was at same time. But it is a dagger digging in my guts. And i hope that tbis will turn into peeps seeing their peeps. Dont know what u have and whatnot
 
ripsta619 said:
This is my 3rd thread I made ever give or take. She doesn't have covid. But she has damn near full organ failure. Kidneys at 6 percent. 32 breaths a min when 16 is normal. Bp dropping and her hemoglobin aint olayin catch up.

Idk what to do. She is only 75 jever did drugs. I went what docs say do tje morphine route until I went to wash my face. I came back and a nurse plus a chaplan(sp) said she said that she didnt want to die.

Im going off of that decision but now I cant see her since she is in icu. She doesnt want to die alone but this might make that happen. Idk if i royallly fucked up.
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Sorry to hear about your mom bro. All you can do is try and live well and be happy its what parents want for their kids. They dont want you moping around all sad remember that. Eventually we all lose our parents, sad fact of life.

You got a wife? That's what I' m trying to find now, a good wife.
 
ripsta619 said:
I am just so mad because i missed seeing her during covid. Of course couldnt allow me to visit bforehand since a lot of people needed care where she was at same time. But it is a dagger digging in my guts. And i hope that tbis will turn into peeps seeing their peeps. Dont know what u have and whatnot
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Your situation is far worse than mine for exactly that reason. She died before Covid and while she wasn't in her right mind she wouldn't have understood why my step-dad wasn't able to go and see her every day and I don't think he would have coped. I don't have any words of comfort or advice I'm afraid, but we're here when you need to vent, so use us as a listening ear.
 
I'm really sorry to read that...
I wish there was anything i could do to help you, but i fear i can't really, aside from trying to be a good sherbro, like all the others in this thread.

Is there maybe any chance that you could maybe get in there to your mom when nobody's watching or something?
 
ripsta619 said:
This is my 3rd thread I made ever give or take. She doesn't have covid. But she has damn near full organ failure. Kidneys at 6 percent. 32 breaths a min when 16 is normal. Bp dropping and her hemoglobin aint olayin catch up.

Idk what to do. She is only 75 jever did drugs. I went what docs say do tje morphine route until I went to wash my face. I came back and a nurse plus a chaplan(sp) said she said that she didnt want to die.

Im going off of that decision but now I cant see her since she is in icu. She doesnt want to die alone but this might make that happen. Idk if i royallly fucked up.
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Hi @ripsta619. That's awful. I said a prayer for you and your mother. Please take care of yourself as well. I hope you can see and talk with your mother again in person.
 
I went through this with my mother.

The difference is that she eventually lost the ability to speak so she couldn't tell me if she was afraid to die.

Here is the story of her last words.

She had lost the ability to walk and speech was becoming increasingly difficult. The doctors suspected water on the brain but weren't positive, and said they could install a drain to see if it improved her condition. They also hinted that this was also a long shot, and if mini strokes were the cause, this wouldn't help at all.

So I ultimately decided to get my mom's opinion on it. I explained what they were going to do and even drew pictures because her comprehension was declining. It took a while and out was very difficult because she hadn't spoken any words in days, and we went sure she even could anymore. But she eventually mustered up these two... "Too scary"

I don't know how much she really understood. I don't know if she realized that by doing nothing she would likely wither away and die. But one thing was clear to me, and that was that she didn't want them drilling holes in her skull.

So I told the doctor we weren't going to do it. The doctor hinted that it was a good choice. He can't come out and say it because they're supposed to leave these decisions to me. They don't want to get sued. But the good doctors find a way to hint at what they wish they could say.

At some point we have to accept that we can't save them anymore. It was extremely hard for me. I still had the mentality of "something's wrong! Fix it!" But in reality nothing was "wrong." People are supposed to die. And when their time is up there's nothing the doctors can do except try to extend their life for a very brief time, but that usually extends and increases the suffering.

I'm sorry you're going through this, bro.
 
ripsta619 said:
Im 34 goin on dont know how many. Never tried to keep count. Dont want too. But like I said it means a lot for you guys have have done with the positive vibes. Just did laundry real quick and seein a kid with his mom almost broke me. Thought I would be be stronger in this situation I was wrong.
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Little things like seeing a child with a mother are hard at first, there will be many more of those times in the near future. But in time it will be a reminder of your mother and you will smile. I took alot of comfort in knowing my mother was no longer in pain and somehow, someway we will meet again. Take care of yourself bud.
 
I have nothing to add but my heart goes out to you.
 
Fedorgasm said:
I went through this with my mother.

The difference is that she eventually lost the ability to speak so she couldn't tell me if she was afraid to die.

Here is the story of her last words.

She had lost the ability to walk and speech was becoming increasingly difficult. The doctors suspected water on the brain but weren't positive, and said they could install a drain to see if it improved her condition. They also hinted that this was also a long shot, and if mini strokes were the cause, this wouldn't help at all.

So I ultimately decided to get my mom's opinion on it. I explained what they were going to do and even drew pictures because her comprehension was declining. It took a while and out was very difficult because she hadn't spoken any words in days, and we went sure she even could anymore. But she eventually mustered up these two... "Too scary"

I don't know how much she really understood. I don't know if she realized that by doing nothing she would likely wither away and die. But one thing was clear to me, and that was that she didn't want them drilling holes in her skull.

So I told the doctor we weren't going to do it. The doctor hinted that it was a good choice. He can't come out and say it because they're supposed to leave these decisions to me. They don't want to get sued. But the good doctors find a way to hint at what they wish they could say.

At some point we have to accept that we can't save them anymore. It was extremely hard for me. I still had the mentality of "something's wrong! Fix it!" But in reality nothing was "wrong." People are supposed to die. And when their time is up there's nothing the doctors can do except try to extend their life for a very brief time, but that usually extends and increases the suffering.

I'm sorry you're going through this, bro.
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Damn dude, this really hit home for me. My mother lost her mobility/speech rather quickly but she could look at us and I had a hard time because she had signed something that said when she got to that point to not be fed/kept alive, we had a few years to deal with this as we knew it was eventually coming but when I saw that the hospice nurse was not giving her iv's/fluids and only wetting her lips with water I was furious. I kept telling my family they gave up and I don't give a damn about a signed document, I tried to get her to drink water and she couldn't swallow. My f'n heart was gone for awhile after that. I'm also sorry to hear about you mom.
 
there are no other words to say other than im horribly sorry you're going through this. keep faith tho man. my mom was supposed to die 29 years ago from breast cancer in 3 months, shes still alive. 4 years ago my dads kidney failure caused him to be unable to breath as his lungs were full of liquid, it did not look good, he pulled through man. basically what i am getting to is dont give up hope. God bless my man, you are definitely in my prayers.
 
Absolutely heart wrenching.

I feel for you, and pray for the best possible outcome. The one savings grace of my father dying was it was the December before the pandemic. I can't comprehend not being able to be there.

I'm really really sorry for the brussel shitty situation you're in.
 
I'm sorry you're going through this brother, it's always rough when a loved one goes through healthcare issues. I've lost both of my parents and I couldn't be there when my mom passed years ago.

Think on the good time you have had with her and the positive words she spoke. It's incumbent on us to be positive (and I KNOW it's hard right now) and let that love shine through.

I'm praying for you and yours brother.
 
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