Let's make puns

[Track Jipper]

Why does a rock group, consisting of a bunch of fat guys, play faster than anyone else?

Because of the higher band width.

Made that up right now, not sure if it classifies as a pun

 

[Van_Damage]

My wife said to me that the spark between us was gone.

So I tasered her.

I'll ask here again when she wakes up

 

[Van_Damage]

What do you call a Russian electrician?

Switchitonanov

 

[Van_Damage]

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 100?

Your Honor.

What do you call a lawyer with an IQ of 50?

Senator.

 

[minute bull]

- Why is the plate not sleeping?
- Because it's up late.

(just made this up, does it need work?)

Yes, it just got shelved for tardiness.

 

[bigraydaddy1]

I stayed up all night, wondering where the sun had gone.



Then it dawned on me.....

 

[Deleted member 391673]

why did the bike fall over?

Spoiler: spoiler

because it was 2 tired! <Lmaoo>

why should you never gamble in africa?

Spoiler: spoiler

because there is a lot of cheetahs! <45>

 

[I Am Legion]

I know constipation must be a pain in your ass. But Diahrea is hereditary. It runs in your jeans.

 

[Hotora86]

@Hotora86 is the fucking man lol
<45>

 

[KeiranMc]

More!!

 

[Pugilistic]

- Why was the blood transfusion unsuccessful?
- Because it was all in vein.

Goddamnit

 

[Hotora86]

More!!

 

[KeiranMc]

Lol

 

[Hotora86]

My old vacuum cleaner aged like my wife.

Sucked less but got louder and louder...

 

[MartinGibson86]

If pro football player A.J.Hawk had gone to the university of kansas, he'd have been A Jayhawk

 

[Hotora86]

I truly love this one because it has two puns and a Beatles reference.

 

[Medulla Omoplata]

you can make your own antifreeze by stealing her blanket

 

[Andy Capp]

You know why kids pick their nose and eat it?
They think it's candy but it's snot.

 

[KeiranMc]

Got a new job cleaning mirrors...
...I'm pleased as its something I can see myself doing.

@Hotora86

 

[Hotora86]