Know anyone that got screwed over in a divorce?

[WorldofWarcraft]

I know plenty.

Just today, I found out that an old friend of mine had a divorce. The wife was hot. I know she was cheating on him.

He had to sell the house, cars, everything. She gets half of his 401k. He has to pay child support and alimony. She works 31 hours that way she's not "full time," to take advantage of alimony laws.

He's in his mid 50's. It's too late for him to start over. He lost his house, cars, etc...


What would you do if you were in this situation?

 

[SammyPops]

I know plenty.

Just today, I found out that an old friend of mine had a divorce. The wife was hot. I know she was cheating on him.

He had to sell the house, cars, everything. She gets half of his 401k. He has to pay child support and alimony. She works 31 hours that way she's not "full time," to take advantage of alimony laws.

He's in his mid 50's. It's too late for him to start over. He lost his house, cars, etc...


What would you do if you were in this situation?

Everyone gets screwed in a divorce. To your example, one of my good friend's brothers got divorced. 4 kids and the wife has never worked.

He got hammered! You know what though? Its his own fault. If your wife never works, you pretty much agreed to support her forever no matter what. After that 1st kid, he should have insisted she get a job and so on.

Another story, my wife's friend got divorced. She makes like $70K in Toronto so not a ton. Her husband works for his dad's company and gets underpaid big time. No idea how much, but she has full cusody of the kids (he does not really care) but she cannot get a penny out of him. He has serious cash but its all off the books.

 

[Chesten_Hesten]

Yes.

Both my 2nd wife and a coworker. Both got the royal shaft.

Coworker lost his house, kid, got stabbed is on the hook for the mortgage of the house if his ex defaults. He was just trying to make the marriage work.

2nd wife's ex has rental property and sold a house for $500K plus, yet he has no income, no job, no money and demands alimony from her.

She was trying to make the marriage work.


Both had dumb Lawyers!

 

[Spoken]

lost the car, savings, and dog.

Yeah, I've been screwed over a bit.

 

[Kirin]

I don't know anybody who wasn't screwed over by a divorce.

 

[Kardashians]

My aunt must be a dumb shit. She’s been divorced three times and she’s broke living in a trailer park working on wedding #4. Nobody taught her how to make bank I guess

 

[scorpipede]

I don't know anybody who wasn't screwed over by a divorce.

I got everything from the marriage and everything I had before the marriage PLUS most of the gifts we were given as a couple throughout the marriage. No alimony. Only thing that changed was I paid support. Because I'm not a lower being.

 

[scorpipede]

He has serious cash but its all off the books.

He'd go to prison here after a month of not paying. If he refused, that is. The state puts you in a seek work probation program and if you don't meet the requirements you go to prison. Simple as that. One thing my state gets right anyway.

 

[Jumpy]

Step dad gave upall equity on the house and had to pay child support for both kids until the youngest was 21(maybe 18?)
Royally fucked over.

 

[Oblivian]

Everyone gets screwed in a divorce. To your example, one of my good friend's brothers got divorced. 4 kids and the wife has never worked.

He got hammered! You know what though? Its his own fault. If your wife never works, you pretty much agreed to support her forever no matter what. After that 1st kid, he should have insisted she get a job and so on.

Another story, my wife's friend got divorced. She makes like $70K in Toronto so not a ton. Her husband works for his dad's company and gets underpaid big time. No idea how much, but she has full cusody of the kids (he does not really care) but she cannot get a penny out of him. He has serious cash but its all off the books.

This. Divorce in my state is very formula oriented. No one is really "getting screwed" as you are dividing up the marital assets 50/50 and then running a child support worksheet. Guess what? If your wife doesn't work and you paid for all of the shit, expect to lose half of it and pay a lot on child support. Everyone should know the rules going into it.

I have to pull divorce files often for my job. I've seen hundreds. I can only think of one where I'd say someone was truly screwed over. He gets divorced from his wife and they have a young son. They enter into a settlement agreement where he agrees to child support. A little bit after that, he gets clued in that the child may not be his. He runs a DNA test to confirm it is not his. He now wants the child support reversed. The wife had an argument based on two things - 1. He voluntarily entered into the settlement agreement which is supposed to settle all disputes. 2. The child treated him like the dad. In the end, he lost and will continue to pay support until the child is emancipated.

 

[genecop]

What can you do? Get the best lawyer you can afford, and start meditating and working on yourself spiritually ...If you go down the road of bitterness, anger, and resentment, you mind as well leave the country, go on the lamb...

 

[JAEGERX]

i've never known of a case in a divorce where the man doesnt get fucked over big time

 

[bigsmooth187]

Everyone gets screwed in marriage. True story.

 

[ralphc1]

Everyone gets screwed in marriage. True story.

No they don't. Put a penny in a jar every time you have sex before you get married and take one out every time you have sex after marriage. You'll never run out of pennies in the jar.

I had to pay my ex 1/2 the difference between what the house was worth and what was owed on it. The reason it was worth more was because I designed and built it.

 

[blaseblah]

I keep saying over and over. Date and marry in your own tax bracket and this wouldn't be an issue. If you settle for a stay at home wife, your income is treated as her income.

 

[UncleJosh]

I kinda got screwed. I was a stay at home dad as my ex-wife was and still is an executive for a major retailer. She literally made more than 3 times as much as me back then so it didn't make sense to put our kids in daycare which basically wiped out my entire pay and then some. When we got divorced, I did not get any alimony and I have to pay child support to the tune of half of my take home pay which means I was homeless for a while. The court make ZERO allowances for real world living conditions and only bases their determination on percentages and that is it. What she makes and what her husband makes is not relevant. Taking half of a monthly income of 3,000 hurts way more than it benefits the person getting it when they take home well over 5 figures a month.

She had since had multiple promotions, gotten remarried, between their combined salary makes well into 6 figures (she makes over 130K on her own) which is about 4 times what I make and they live in a 5 bedroom house while I have never been able to afford to live on my own. I gave up 2 career path positions during our marriage so had to start all over at the bottom with not a lot of work history and no degree. (She doesn't have one either but she has worked for the same company for almost 20 years)

She also filed for bankruptcy while we were still married and refused to include me if I didn't pay half (which as I was homeless and paying child support on unemployment checks) was impossible at the time. Considering it would not have cost her anything to add me since we were still married she did it totally out of spite to fuck me over. So i was saddled with all of our debt including all credit cards, line of credit using our house as collateral we got to fix our house up which we were underwater on and had to do a short sale so we couldn't pay it back plus other various debt. I had to go to court multiple times back in 2008/2009 but as I was homeless and unemployment, the debts were written off and I thought were discharged.

So I finally got a decent job in 2010 where I still am although I don't make a lot and I am still paying close to half my take home pay to her. My grandmother died and left me a decent amount of money which I was going to use to FINALLY get a little ahead and buy a small condo and just not live check to check. Well what happens? That old line of credit debt rears its ugly head as they refiled last June and I had to file for bankruptcy. The bankruptcy trustee took everything I had and now I am looking at being homeless again in the near future unless I can find a very cheap place to live for about 4-500 a month (all included) which is all I can afford after my child support. I am a very involved dad and have never missed any payments no matter what. I see my kids from Friday night until Monday morning every week plus split school vacation weeks and holidays.

Good times.

Now I also have several medical conditions which limit the type of work I can do and also affect my appearance which has cost me promotions and job opportunities for those who will say just get a better job or work harder. It's not that simple. I work very hard and am highly praised at my job, but I can't really advance due to those issues.

 

[Po]

I know plenty.

Just today, I found out that an old friend of mine had a divorce. The wife was hot. I know she was cheating on him.

He had to sell the house, cars, everything. She gets half of his 401k. He has to pay child support and alimony. She works 31 hours that way she's not "full time," to take advantage of alimony laws.

He's in his mid 50's. It's too late for him to start over. He lost his house, cars, etc...


What would you do if you were in this situation?

Actually they can impute a full time salary for someone not working full-time to reduce alimony obligations.

He needs a good lawyer.

Alimony is bullshit.

 

[Fox by the Sea]

i ain't never getting married.
unless she is seriously richer than me.

 

[Po]

I keep saying over and over. Date and marry in your own tax bracket and this wouldn't be an issue. If you settle for a stay at home wife, your income is treated as her income.

Another piece of advice is to not get married or get a prenup or marry in a non alimony state - Texas, Nevada.

 

[45ACP]

I got divorced about 5 years ago and ended up with the house, dog, and most of the furniture. No lawyers involved, paid $300 to file no-fault paperwork with the court. We had been married for 7 years.

My ex is a cool chick obviously, she just wasn't for me. I don't think divorces get any easier than that.

Sorry for you guys who have been through messy divorces. I really got lucky.