Jury Duty

just say you dont put any merit into eye witness testimony because you find it to be unreliable. That should get you out of it. unless you are bored and unemployed and actually WANT to go to jury duty.
 
j98 said:
just say you dont put any merit into eye witness testimony because you find it to be unreliable. That should get you out of it. unless you are bored and unemployed and actually WANT to go to jury duty.
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Solid advice right here if you want to get out of it... But just suck it up, TS. It's your Civic duty.
 
jerzey devil said:
I no showed my last 3 jury duty calls.
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I'm going to do that. Doing jury duty once in my life is enough for me. I don't want to have to go through with that time wasting shit. If your going to wait to call jurors until 2:45 P.M. and ask us to be there at 7:30 a.m. that's some sick sadistic shit. If they certify the mail, then i'll go. Other than that, Superior Court of California...Argofuckyourself.
 
Wow fuck. Damn courts wasting my time. "please be here promptly at 9 a.m." Fucking ass judge calls for reccess for an hour. Wtf?
 
Earlier today the federal prosecutor won a preemptory challenge for cause against me to remove me from the jury after I straight up told him there was nothing he could do in this trial for me to deliver a guilty vote lmao

It was a criminal case in US district court with six defendants who allegedly committed bank and wire fraud against Countrywide, Bank of America, and Washington Mutual. I was like "I'm sorry but for there to be a crime there has to be a victim and the idea that these financial institutions were victims in the housing bubble crisis is laughable." pwnt
 
faustian said:
Earlier today the federal prosecutor won a preemptory challenge for cause against me to remove me from the jury after I straight up told him there was nothing he could do in this trial for me to deliver a guilty vote lmao

It was a criminal case in US district court with six defendants who allegedly committed bank and wire fraud against Countrywide, Bank of America, and Washington Mutual. I was like "I'm sorry but for there to be a crime there has to be a victim and the idea that these financial institutions were victims in the housing bubble crisis is laughable." pwnt
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well done sir well done
 
Just go to the selection meeting, listen to the brief and then when asked, make up a story how you were in a situation similar to the one in question and that you are afraid you may be biased towards (pick side) due to you past experiences.

The opposing attorney/lawyer will have you removed. I saw like 10 people get out jury duty by doing this.
 
Lol nice, faustian.

I went to jury duty today. Started at 8:00 and went to 11:30. No group of people was called for questioning and we were told to go home, our "service" complete.
 
I swear, this thread freakin' jinxed me!!:mad:

I just got mailed another jury duty notice, for August 13. WTF??

I was on hold, for 1 week, for District Court jury duty, less than 2 months ago!. I missed a day of work and fell behind on my project, because of this bullshit. I had to come in on Saturday and Sunday.
 
Katipwnan said:
Good god i know the feeling of having to wait. Your phone is dead and you have nothing else to do except look at your feet or the wall as time slowly moves. I'll make sure to bring my phone fully charged and a book.
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I developed a super power for that situation. Unashamedly take a nap.
 
faustian said:
Earlier today the federal prosecutor won a preemptory challenge for cause against me to remove me from the jury after I straight up told him there was nothing he could do in this trial for me to deliver a guilty vote lmao

It was a criminal case in US district court with six defendants who allegedly committed bank and wire fraud against Countrywide, Bank of America, and Washington Mutual. I was like "I'm sorry but for there to be a crime there has to be a victim and the idea that these financial institutions were victims in the housing bubble crisis is laughable." pwnt
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Haha GG US District Court.

I eventually didn't get picked to become a potential juror. Just sat in the audience to hear the prosecutor and the defense attorney ask questions to evaluate the potential jurors. Kind of wished I did get picked. The defense attorney was a cutie. I wouldn't mind sitting there for 4 days.:icon_chee
 
This video will tell you all you need to know about jury duty.

I served on a jury for a kidnapping/murder trial. Both acts were caught on security camera, but that didn't stop the state and defense from wasting a month of our time so they could hear themselves blather on and on. The video evidence was all we really needed to see. We came to a guilty verdict on both charges within 45 minutes.

 
I recently did a few days on jury duty ... insurance company was being sued for breach of contract for not paying enough for hurricane ian damages

Felt bad for the guy until his house was revealed to be worth 2 mil and he bought it 4 yrs ago in cash

Needless to say, the case was dropped after 3 days
 
Fedorgasm said:
If they told you to show up at 7:30, that means they won't start anything until 8:00. They just tell everyone to be there at 7:30 because of everyone who's going to come in late. Which sucks, because those of us who are punctual were denied a half hour of sleep.

You sit in a big room, and at 8:00ish someone will come out and explain in painstaking detail how to fill out the form that you already filled out because you can read fucking english. This will take about 30-45 minutes.

You will scope the room to see if there are any hot chicks. There will be exactly one. You will say a silent prayer that you get sequestered on a 6 month trial and your hotel room is adjacent to hers. This prayer will go unanswered. That's what you get for praying when you don't even believe in god, you hypocrite.

Then you have to watch a juror orientation video that talks about how you're doing your civic duty and the system depends on you. This will give you a sense of national pride. You will vote republican in the next election.

You will sit around and wait for an hour or two. The waiting in the juror room isn't bad at all if you have a tablet or a smartphone to play with. They provide you with wifi, which is nice. There are signs that say not to surf porn on their network. You will find a secluded corner and do it anyway, just to feel like you're stickin' it to the man.

You will be called into the courtroom by a judge. The courtroom is a long walk from the room you're in, but that's okay because you're going to get right behind that hot chick and stare at her ass the whole way.

In the courtroom, they will make 12 of you potential jurors sit in the jury box. If you're not one of these 12 people, then you will be ignored completely. You will sit patiently while the adults talk. You will come up with all kinds of ideas on how to make this process more efficient. You will stare lovingly at the hot chick.

The judge and the lawyers will ask those 12 people questions, one by one. It will take an hour to get through 3 people. The judge will decide to be "nice" and cut the day short at 4:15, not realizing that this really fucks you over because now you have to come back the next day, when if he'd just stayed until 5 then maybe the process could have been finished.

You will return the next day and do all of the same things.
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This
 
Torturing us by repeating the same judge pep talk video on repeat for the last 2 hours....
 
Last edited:
tabascojet said:
Jury duty monday....hang them all!
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I'm sitting in jury room right now. Hopefully I don't get selected. I got sent home last time, hopefully this time is the same.

I think I was released last time cause I told them my wife works for Californians department of corrections. Hopefully that's an issue this go round
 
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