JURASSIC WORLD v.2 (Dragonlord's Review)

Ugh...this movie.

I don't even know where to begin...

How about the fact that their is NO PLAUSIBLE WAY that a fucking theme park based on Dinosaurs would have ever gotten funding, permits or off the ground due to their being 3 previous movies where this exact idea FAILED.

Let's talk about how 1 dimensional and cliche the characters in this film are.

Maybe the sequel should just give them names to help label them so that their is no chance that the audience members could possible get confused as to who is playing which role?

"Hi my name is ex army now turned trainer guy!"
"Hi I'm stupid kid #1"
"Hi I'm stupid kid #2"
"Hi I'm rich bitch"
"Hi I'm evil government dude who fucks shit up"
"Hi I'm the rich guy who doesn't respect dinosaur power!"

So the plot barely hangs on to any form of logic until about half way through the movie...and then it's like it was written by me, at a bar on a fucking napkin. I'd say it went from bad to worse roughly around the time Pratt jumped on a motorcycle to run with the raptors...cause you know...cool imagery and all. Doesn't matter that it made zero fucking sense.

Nothing made sense or was believable. Nothing.

And in the end the cartoon dino fight between the new T Rex and the old T Rex + Raptor was insulting.

Did I really just see a raptor on the back of a T Rex, fighting the new T Rex?

facepalm02.gif


I was honestly half expecting the raptor and T Rex to fist bump in victory...

What a pile of shit. It's honestly insulting just how fucking bad this movie is. And it's pathetic just how much it's killing it at the theaters right now. And the fact that most of you gave this shit "good" or "pretty good". I fully expect movies to eventually just relieve themselves of having to write a plot or pesky dialogue and just show 2 hours of dinosaurs fighting in New York...


...while driving tanks and helicopters.
 
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BVG said:
Ugh...this movie.

I don't even know where to begin...

How about the fact that their is NO PLAUSIBLE WAY that a fucking theme park based on Dinosaurs would have ever gotten funding, permits or off the ground due to their being 3 previous movies where this exact idea FAILED.
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This is a direct sequel to Jurassic Park, in it's universe Lost World and JPIII never happened and don't exist.
 
BVG said:
That was a terribad comparison.

You should have just ended with "there are plenty of legit complaints"
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Your main complaint was that they would not have allowed this amusement park to be built because of dangerous dinos.

Why did you even see the film? Did you not know the premise?
 
BVG isn't wrong. Some of the plot holes and plot contrivances that were in the film were absolutely laughable. The wafer-thin caricatures of characters didn't help the movie either.

That being said, I thought it was a fun movie. But the distance between it and Jurassic Park are galaxies apart.
 
WalkenWouldOwn said:
Your main complaint was that they would not have allowed this amusement park to be built because of dangerous dinos.

Why did you even see the film? Did you not know the premise?
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Their are many clever ways to write a movie that has people in danger from dinosaurs. Find one that sounds at least REMOTELY plausible so that I don't get annoyed throughout the duration of this film because the main plot point doesn't seem to make much sense.

They honestly could have written a fucking time travel script where the main characters 'Marty Mcfly' back to '92 in order to get the almanac from the "old Biff" and that would have been just as palatable compared to what they ended up with.

As ridiculous as that sounds I half expect that premise for the fucking sequel to this mess.

And you will be ok with it because it will have dino fights.
 
Be interesting to see if Jurassic World will overtake Furious 7 in total box office. I think Star Wars could definitely approach 2 billion total through the winter though.
 
BVG said:
And you will be ok with it because it will have dino fights.
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Getting a bit defensive are we?

As I said, it had plenty of flaws. some cringeworthy characters and worse dialogue. I enjoyed it for the most part but in no way would I consider it a good movie.

I just find it pretty funny that you went to see a movie you knew your would hate just so you could cry about it online. The complaint that this amusement park would never have been allowed to be built is a ridiculous complaint. All the previews and commercials... hell even the title of the film made it perfectly clear that it was about a dinosaur amusement park. So I ask again, why watch it if you find that idea so offensive?
 
G.AnteFilipovic said:
BVG isn't wrong. Some of the plot holes and plot contrivances that were in the film were absolutely laughable. The wafer-thin caricatures of characters didn't help the movie either.

That being said, I thought it was a fun movie. But the distance between it and Jurassic Park are galaxies apart.
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Agreed with this.

Just not with the "realism" or the existence of this amusement park in this fantasy universe being the major problems.
 
It was pretty goofy with the raptors and the i-rex and his adaptations, other then that it was standard popcorn stuff.

was it great? No, but it entertained me for two hours.
 
Did they use any practical effects or was it all CGI? I couldn't tell if the raptors in the harness or the dying Brachiosaurus were animatronic or not.
 
DarkKnight81 said:
Did they use any practical effects or was it all CGI? I couldn't tell if the raptors in the harness or the dying Brachiosaurus were animatronic or not.
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The brontosaurus scene looked practical...And some of the raptor heads.
 
i left up the posts i felt qualified as debating

the rest however,.......
 
Dizzy said:
People having fun watching a movie with little substance is not a bad thing.
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Never said it was. People just seem a little touchy with this one. I guarantee more than half the people saying "Leave Jurassic World alone! It's fun, okay!", are right there on the hate wagon when a Transformers flick rolls out, and wouldn't let such an excuse fly.

Anyways, I believe we're supposed to move on.
 
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