Jokes to tell cops when pulled over

[Tankeray]

Go fuck yourself.

 

[jenlan]

Cops minds are made up before they ever talk to you, all you can do is make things worse for yourself.

Just sometimes they have their mind made up.

 

[Gontran]

This is what you do



The Jim trick

 

[Merlotte's]

I'm sorry officer, I didn't know I couldn't do that.

 

[That209]

Be sure to buy doughnuts before.

Q: Do you know why I pulled you over?

A: BECAUSE YOU CAN SMELL THEM!! (hold up box of doughnuts)

No? I tried.

 

[themainman]

do you know why i pulled you over?

Cause you're an asshole that has to fill a quota?

 

[Devout Pessimist]

Officer, is that a gun in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

 

[MilesAbove]

"Excuse me officer, do you know how fast you were going back there? Because I was going at least 90 and you were right on my ass."

 

[Talent]

[YT]ZaqktZ8N0MQ[/YT]

 

[Protectandserve]

Cops minds are made up before they ever talk to you, all you can do is make things worse for yourself.

If someone tells me something entertaining during a stop, I'm probably not gonna cite them. Lots of people talk themselves into tickets by being assholes to cops.

 

[Chest Rockwell]

A cop friend of mine told me this one as a guaranteed way to get out of a ticket in California...

"What does CHP stand for? Can't handle police work!" Just make sure you don't say it to a chp.

 

[MassDistortion]

Tell your wife I will be by later tonight

 

[Dr Curtis Love]

Cops minds are made up before they ever talk to you, all you can do is make things worse for yourself.

Nope. As a former cop i can tell you I took the low road and cited people because they were pricks, and gave warnings to people who were polite and cordial. Is it right to do so???? Probably not, but I couldn't care less now.

 

[...El Ray]

''No, I don't have any illegal drugs in the car.''

 

[llperez22]

Do you know why I pulled you over?

Depends on how long you've been following me

 

[Daverisimo]

[YT]TM7CE5mTz9I[/YT]

Always a good call

 

[Joe]

Oh always. I always say 'Mr. Officer'

better than copper

 

[jkthenatural]

If someone tells me something entertaining during a stop, I'm probably not gonna cite them. Lots of people talk themselves into tickets by being assholes to cops.

Some people argue with cops over every little thing, it's stupid, you're not going to help yourself like that

 

[WinterSoldier]

Preferably short ones. It could help your chances greatly of getting out of a ticket if it hits the right spot. I read something on here years ago where someone told a joke about a dead body being in a trunk and it was hilarious. I googled it and found a good one that was all over the net but it was too long and not the one I was looking for.

Anyway, any short jokes you can tell as soon as your pulled over? Like responding when they ask 'do you know why I pulled you over?' or whatever else they say/ask. I have nothing lol

I always wanted to Cheech an officer and tell him the license is on the bumper man.

 

[odog]

"Do you know why I pulled you over?"

"Probably to sell me tickets to the Policeman's Ball."

"Policemen don't have balls".

And everyone laughs.