Joke thread
- Thread starter Starman
- Start date
- Joined
- Jul 2, 2007
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Did you hear about the gay midget?
He came out of the cabinet.
He came out of the cabinet.
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- Mar 4, 2014
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Whats the difference between a Jew and an apple pie?
Apple pie dont scream when you put it in the oven
Apple pie dont scream when you put it in the oven
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- Dec 20, 2018
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Stranger at a bar tells guy, “they’ve got this magic beer that lets you fly !” and orders it.
Stranger jumps out 5th story window swoops around and flies back into the bar.
Guy goes, “Holy shit - it is magic beer !” and orders one, drinks it, jumps out the window and falls to his death.
Bartender looks at the stranger and goes,
“You’re a psychotic asshole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
Stranger jumps out 5th story window swoops around and flies back into the bar.
Guy goes, “Holy shit - it is magic beer !” and orders one, drinks it, jumps out the window and falls to his death.
Bartender looks at the stranger and goes,
“You’re a psychotic asshole when you’re drunk, Superman.”
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- Sep 18, 2008
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Man tells his doctor, "Doc you gotta help me. My knee hurts so bad that I can't even play golf anymore!"
Doctor says, "You're going to have to stop all masturbation activities."
"Really? But why?"
"Because I'm TRYING to examine your knee!"
Doctor says, "You're going to have to stop all masturbation activities."
"Really? But why?"
"Because I'm TRYING to examine your knee!"
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- Apr 17, 2014
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An Arab man was crawling helplessly through the dessert when he encountered a Jewish tie salesman.
“Water! Water!” cried the Arab. “Do you have any water?”
“I don’t have any water,” said the Jew. “But I can sell you this tie for $5 if you’d like.”
“I don’t need a tie, you filthy Jew bastard!” cried the Arab. “I need water!”
“There’s a nice hotel 40 miles north of here,” said the Jew. “They have water there.”
The bitter, angry Arab crawled north beneath the blistering, unforgiving sun. 4 days later and near certain death, he came crawling back to the Jewish tie salesman.
“Water! Water!” he cried meekly.
“What happened? Didn’t you find the hotel?” the Jew asked.
“Yes...” said the Arab. “But...
...you need a tie to get in.”
“Water! Water!” cried the Arab. “Do you have any water?”
“I don’t have any water,” said the Jew. “But I can sell you this tie for $5 if you’d like.”
“I don’t need a tie, you filthy Jew bastard!” cried the Arab. “I need water!”
“There’s a nice hotel 40 miles north of here,” said the Jew. “They have water there.”
The bitter, angry Arab crawled north beneath the blistering, unforgiving sun. 4 days later and near certain death, he came crawling back to the Jewish tie salesman.
“Water! Water!” he cried meekly.
“What happened? Didn’t you find the hotel?” the Jew asked.
“Yes...” said the Arab. “But...
...you need a tie to get in.”
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Why aren't there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they don't get jobs in the future either…
Why does Jews have big noses?
because air is free
What did the black motherfucker say to the other black motherfucker?
He said: wassup motherfucker!
Because they don't get jobs in the future either…
Why does Jews have big noses?
because air is free
What did the black motherfucker say to the other black motherfucker?
He said: wassup motherfucker!
- Joined
- Dec 17, 2013
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A tourist is backpacking through the highlands of Scotland, and he stops at a pub to get a drink. And the only people in there is a bartender and an old man nursing a beer. And he orders a pint, and they sit in silence for a while. And suddenly the old man turns to him and goes, "You see this bar? I built this bar with my bare hands from the finest wood in the county.Gave it more love and care than my own child. But do they call me MacGregor the bar builder? No." Points out the window."You see that stone wall out there? I built that stone wall with my bare hands. Found every stone, placed them just so through the rain and the cold. But do they call me MacGregor the stone wall builder? No."Points out the window. "You see that pier on the lake out there? I built that pier with my bare hands. Drove the pilings against the tide of the sand, plank by plank. But do they call me MacGregor the pier builder? No.
But you fuck one goat ... "
But you fuck one goat ... "
Last edited:
- Joined
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Two guys walk into a bar.
You would've thought one of them would have seen it.
You would've thought one of them would have seen it.
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What’s the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with breast implants?
Ones a crusty bus station and ones a busty crustacean.
Ones a crusty bus station and ones a busty crustacean.
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- May 28, 2015
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go sit in a corner for 40 minutes as punishment for what you've done
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- May 27, 2017
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Jimmy Carr?
