Jobs where Nothing Happens

[IIIIIIII]

Security guard working the night shift

these types of jobs are complete torture. given the choice of doing nothing or doing something, i'd choose something every single time. you will come across the occasional jovial security guard, but the vast majority of them seem completely bored out of their minds surfing the internet. actually, with internet it's not so bad i guess.

 

[kimocomplex]

Sherdog moderators do fuck all

 

[Other]

Bowling coach always seemed like the world's most useless job.

Bowler, "Any pointers?"

Coach, "knock all the pins down"

Bowler, "Genius!"

I could do that.

 

[kjg1672]

My buddy just retired as a Port Authority Cop that was in charge of Fire Truck at an airport. In 30 years, he never had an incident. Was on alert during a few storms, ice etc. But nothing else. He watched movies all day.

Port Authority jobs are pretty interesting. I've heard of a few jobs like this.

 

[mozfonky]

My stepdad did night security at the Seattle Center (the place with the space needle) for about 28 years. It was most likely usually uneventful but, probably the biggest thing going on was the politics of the people there, ratting each other out, talking shit, like a lot of places. Eventually, after some sexual remarks that someone reported, he just retired. So, generally, it was just a lot of hanging around, walking a lot and doing nothing. He got paid well enough to get a nice house and nice retirement. He was never into jobs involving a lot of hard work or stress though, when growing up, he was constantly between jobs because the ones he had were too physical for him or stressful and I think plain not good enough for him in his own mind so, he spent a lot of time sitting around the house. Once he got into security, he started at minimum wage, was ashamed of it but it eventually payed well enough.

It could be worse, a lot of people have jobs that just wrack their bodies so bad they'll be useless in a couple decades.

 

[supermurph]

Friend does security for the nuclear plant around here. Says it's a joke. You have to train and qualify on rifles and all that. And they run drills every so often. But he says most nights he's just in a control room watching movies. His boss doesn't care they watch movies either, but the thing that will get you fired is sleeping on the job.

Environmental operator at a production plant is another one I hear isn't bad. Mostly monitoring readings and writing them down every 2 to 4 hours. Power outages suck because then you have to go around and manually restart scrubbers or incinerators, and heavy rains means you might have to walk around the plant and kick on some drainage pumps. Other than that, you're on your ass in an office with AC and doing whatever you want until it's time to take readings. Friend of mine put on about 25lbs since he got that job.

 

[TankAbbott4Eva]

I used to work in data centers a lot, some shifts I'd just be there to make sure the backup power systems didn't fail during a blackout test, you'd hope to shit you'd be doing nothing ha ha

I worked a roads project years ago and at the end of it I had nothing to do, they were waiting to win a new contract. So for a few months I watched youtube, lunchtime joints and plenty of coffee breaks, good times

 

[mozfonky]

Some guy wrote a book a few years ago, referring to Bullshit Jobs and said a lot of jobs out there are like that. From what I can tell, a lot of the luckier, more well connected folks in our society are so useless but they are tied into privilege, that they need jobs like that. Basically just to be taken care of. It's not just security jobs. At least with security, there is the use of deterrence, if security weren't in a place, they'd get ripped off in no time. So, that is the main function of security, even if it looks useless and even if most security guards, do not, and will not interfere in a crisis.

 

[Sweater of AV]

 

[Ardaric]

Lucky bastards. I wish my current job didn't make me do things. I used to have a job where I had to phone people a head of the installations they were having to reduce the chance of them failing on the day. During the off season I normally only had 5-10 calls for an entire day which I could get done before my first break.

That said I would not like to works nights and do very little. Makes people a bit strange over time.

 

[Lethal_Striker]

Security guard working the night shift

Every time I go to my bank there is always a security guard in the lobby, most of the time they're just looking at their phone. I think its mostly just their presence there is enough to sway people from trying anything.

 

[Osculater]

I used to work as a security guard around the big stadiums in Vancouver. Literally every single night cars would get broken into. I wouldn't even stop them if I saw it happening. I gave no fucks.

I'd goto the bottom level where there were no cameras and Blaze while playing ball hockey.

Another thing I'd do was put a cone in one spot per level. Once the lot filled, there would always be guys coming in begging for spots. I'd say we've got one spot but it's reserved. I'd then offer it for $50 cash.

Extra $150 to $250 a night for me.

Bastard but I can't hate the hustle LOL

 

[Uber_Noober]

My buddy just retired as a Port Authority Cop that was in charge of Fire Truck at an airport. In 30 years, he never had an incident. Was on alert during a few storms, ice etc. But nothing else. He watched movies all day.

Can confirm, I spent 35 years in a fire department that was on the slow side. We ran some calls, but I can recall one crew I worked with for a few years where I learned how to play the video game Halo. I couldn’t imagine how many hours we wasted playing that game.

 

[GSP_37]

Space Force could very well be doing all sorts of top secret shit no one knows about.

 

[ThaiSexPills]

Maintenance at a lot of larger plants is like this. Sit around and wait like a firefighter. It can be pretty boring sometimes and there isn’t always stuff you could be doing.

I run a contracting company and we keep getting these fill in positions at a local mill because their toxic management drives everybody away. We supplement their maintenance staff to fill the gaps. It’s honestly kind of ridiculous. Instead of paying their guys more, they pay my company double what they’d pay an employee. Doesn’t make sense to me at all. We do shut down work for them too but I keep expecting it to be the last time and then suddenly I get a call to fill in again.

Because a lot of them are night shifts and I know people aren’t big fans of doing one random night in the week, often on short notice, I’ll do them sometimes personally and take one for the team. I’m here right now with a radio, scrolling sherdog hoping something breaks. This has been on and off again for a couple of years. I’ll go back to the office tomorrow morning at 7 and get everybody going for the day then take a nap. Holy shit I am bored

 

[KeepingItReal]

I used to work as a security guard around the big stadiums in Vancouver. Literally every single night cars would get broken into. I wouldn't even stop them if I saw it happening. I gave no fucks.

I'd goto the bottom level where there were no cameras and Blaze while playing ball hockey.

Another thing I'd do was put a cone in one spot per level. Once the lot filled, there would always be guys coming in begging for spots. I'd say we've got one spot but it's reserved. I'd then offer it for $50 cash.

Extra $150 to $250 a night for me.

That's not a job where nothing happens, you're just a piece of shit for not doing your job.

 

[Oblivian]

In college I had a job that was awesome, but sucked at the same time. I was at a Goodwill dropoff center. It was basically a large semi-trailer. I'd sit there when people dropped off items. I'd just put the bags or boxes in these very large, heavy duty boxes on pallets. So ltierally, all I did was take the bags/boxes and put it into the bigger boxes when someone dropped off. Some days I'd hae 1-2 dropoffs per hour, other days may be 1-2 dropoffs per 2 hours, other days it may be 1-2 dropoffs per 3 hours. I was allowed to read, play guitar, or do whatever else. I'd estimate I did actually 10 minutes of work for every 2 hours. They eventually got rid of the dropoff site and I didn't want to go from working such an easy job like that to working in the store.

 

[plataoplombo]

I'd love to either have a job where I didn't do anything or have something fun and be able to work with a good group of people.

 

[scorpiorising]

That's not a job where nothing happens, you're just a piece of shit for not doing your job.

I hope your car gets broken into tonight.

 

[mozfonky]

I hope your car gets broken into tonight.

one of my ethiopian pals had a job as a lot watcher, a luxury sports car got stolen on his watch, they canned him immediately. He was bitter because his own people owned the lot. Don't really know the circumstances of that situation, maybe the lot had cars out of sight or something so, who knows if he was at fault. I know you can't always see everything.