This x 1,000,000,000,000,000
Get THE FUCK AWAY from carpet, never EVER, during the fiercest ether binge, should you do carpeting. I got a house in October and am now removing carpet over 10 years old - let me tell you a few things about that:
- Carpet cannot EVER be cleaned properly. EVER. There are levels of dust and grime you will never get out of it and that will accumulate over time. I discovered that the hard way, by thinking "ahh easy-peasy, I'll just rip my carpeting up and lay tile myself". Guess what motherfucker? I kicked up some X-Files level dust mites and what appeared to be scabies lying dormant in there, causing both my dogs a severe allergy (they were itching so bad my German Shepherd had to be put to steroids because he ate his paws bloody). I have been getting rid of scabies for a month now, my ass still itches from time to time - fucking awful. In the middle of sex, no less.
- Thinking of having pets? The first time they piss on it will be the last time your carpet was clean. That's it. The piss enters the spongy insulation and now there's no removing the scent. Now they know that at some point in time someone pissed there and they'll think it's ok to do so, and will, again, periodically piss there. Why not? I've already had this happen once before when my German Shepherd was a baby, he pissed on an area rug ONCE, I cleaned it, but nope, he then proceeded to piss on it until I had to throw it away. I even called professionals to clean it, no dice - by the way, if you ever come across a guy called Roni Beizob and does carpet cleaning - run him over with your truck on sight. That cunt took $300 for the cleaning that didn't work and then proceeded to block all my calls and disappeared when I asked for money back. You fucking cunt, I will find you.
Other than that, if you plan on painting the house, pay somebody. I did it myself and saved prolly about 10k, but I'll be rotting 6ft underground before I take a paint brush to a wall again - fuck that right in the face.
Examine drywall for weaknesses, especially the ceilings. I didn't and I didn't know to do it prior to purchase. Had I known what I know now, I'd probably have been able to negotiate a $20k reduction in price, what with ceiling fixes and capret removal.
Prepare to have no weekends for the rest of your married life. It's either weekends as a single guy, or "Darth, did you rake the leaves/have the tile guy give an estimate/schedule floor staining/look into that new vanity/order kitchen backsplash/fix the toilet/install the surveillance system/clean up the garage/order gym flooring" for the rest of your life.
Not even mad.
