Is it petty to hold grudges?

[F1980]

A long time ago when I was in my early 20s I worked along with some high school kids. I had mental health issues and a long criminal record so getting a job wasnt easy. I spent most of my early teens in california youth authority and later in and out of county jail. you cant pick and choose jobs. You just have to go with what you can get. I wasnt allowed to do some things like I wasnt allowed to hold any keys.

I could tell the kids I worked with looked down on me. I was the oldest one there. they were all around 16 to 18 years old. They used to make fun of me for taking public transportation. Listening to them talk about homework and college was what really got to me. I knew I wasnt going anywhere with my record. There was this one blonde girl who made me feel the worst.

anyway many many years later I cleaned up but I had no goal. I didnt work on anything, i just let life take me wherever. They got rid of my job position but they moved me to blue collar work. I learned this and that, got some certifications and next thing you know Im in a union, I bought a house, I paid off the house, Im making pretty good money, Im already vetted for pension, wont be long before I can retire from working altogether at a relatively young age.

then I found out not too long ago that the one blonde girl went to school to be an accountant, got married, got promoted, bought a house, had kids..
then she got laid off, got divorced, had her house foreclosed. She's at the very bottom. She came back to the same work she had when she was 16 making minimum wage

probably thorugh no fault of her own she lost everything
and through not much effort, Im doing better than most people

not sure wehther to gloat or to feel sorry for her

 

[Pliny Pete]

She's a CPA but she's back at a minimum wage job just cause she got laid off from one company?
That doesnt sound very believable

 

[Shaun K]

I think you’re kinda insecure and yes very petty

 

[Fedorgasm]

Being petty is great.

I was madly in love with this good little Christian girl in high school and she friend-zoned me and went on to date this total loser, he was dumb, ugly, and according to her he pretty much raped her and took her virginity. She dumped him but never reported it.

The guy just had no redeeming qualities so it really hurt that she chose him of all people over me.

Well fast forward 20 years and she tracks me down online, tells me that she's married with 2 kids, and just filed for divorce because her husband can't stop cheating. She's a little flirty, hinting that she should've dated me back in high school. And asks me if I'm married.

So I reply by going on and on about how great my wife is and how solid our marriage is. Just piling it on and making her feel worse about her situation.

It was petty, but she made me feel bad so I had to return the favor. Who the fuck does she think she is, calling me out of desperation to raise some other dude's kids. Fuck that.

 

[GSP_37]

Sounds like more about karma than grudge holding. Sometimes bad things happen to bad people. Sometimes stupid immature people do stupid things that mess up their futures. Not just talking speeding, drunk driving, diving into shallow water, taking big risks hiking then falling off mountain.

She's a CPA but she's back at a minimum wage job just cause she got laid off from one company?
That doesnt sound very believable

Not all accountants are CPAs. She could have been accounting clerk.

 

[Sweater of AV]

A long time ago when I was in my early 20s I worked along with some high school kids. I had mental health issues and a long criminal record so getting a job wasnt easy. I spent most of my early teens in california youth authority and later in and out of county jail. you cant pick and choose jobs. You just have to go with what you can get. I wasnt allowed to do some things like I wasnt allowed to hold any keys.

I could tell the kids I worked with looked down on me. I was the oldest one there. they were all around 16 to 18 years old. They used to make fun of me for taking public transportation. Listening to them talk about homework and college was what really got to me. I knew I wasnt going anywhere with my record. There was this one blonde girl who made me feel the worst.

anyway many many years later I cleaned up but I had no goal. I didnt work on anything, i just let life take me wherever. They got rid of my job position but they moved me to blue collar work. I learned this and that, got some certifications and next thing you know Im in a union, I bought a house, I paid off the house, Im making pretty good money, Im already vetted for pension, wont be long before I can retire from working altogether at a relatively young age.

then I found out not too long ago that the one blonde girl went to school to be an accountant, got married, got promoted, bought a house, had kids..
then she got laid off, got divorced, had her house foreclosed. She's at the very bottom. She came back to the same work she had when she was 16 making minimum wage

probably thorugh no fault of her own she lost everything
and through not much effort, Im doing better than most people

not sure wehther to gloat or to feel sorry for her

 

[Domitian]

Yes it would be petty to contact this person to gloat.

 

[Dusty Rhodes]

It's a waste of time/energy to feel this way. Be happy with your blessings and that you've turned your life around SherBro

Pettiness/jealousy are female traits

 

[payton]

Pettiness/jealousy are female traits

Thats not true. Feeling jealous is normal and it has nothing to do with gender. Letting that jealousy influence your decisions and behaviors isn't.
Technically, every emotion is a survival tool; good tool, bad master. My best guess is Pettiness/jealousy can spur motivation. Using negative traits in a positive way can be a good thing as long as you are open and understanding of the detriment too much of the negativity can cause to you and those around you. Anger is a great motivator too.

 

[Tone C]

Pics of blonde nemesis?

 

[lsa]

So a guy in his 20ties gets "bullied" by teens and years later he is still upset and wants to gloat + seems to have been following them teens on the interwebs to find out what they do.

are you sure you dont still got mental issues?

 

[William Huggins]

Being petty is great.

I was madly in love with this good little Christian girl in high school and she friend-zoned me and went on to date this total loser, he was dumb, ugly, and according to her he pretty much raped her and took her virginity. She dumped him but never reported it.

The guy just had no redeeming qualities so it really hurt that she chose him of all people over me.

Well fast forward 20 years and she tracks me down online, tells me that she's married with 2 kids, and just filed for divorce because her husband can't stop cheating. She's a little flirty, hinting that she should've dated me back in high school. And asks me if I'm married.

So I reply by going on and on about how great my wife is and how solid our marriage is. Just piling it on and making her feel worse about her situation.

It was petty, but she made me feel bad so I had to return the favor. Who the fuck does she think she is, calling me out of desperation to raise some other dude's kids. Fuck that.

Yeah the thing is, I've learnt to not just listen to one side of a story without hearing the other as well...... If you're going to seriously date someone and they tell you terrible stories, go ask the other person as well......

That little Christian girl definitely had a part to play and may well have been the problem all along.....

 

[ICHEERTHEBULL]

She's a CPA but she's back at a minimum wage job just cause she got laid off from one company?
That doesnt sound very believable

Off topic and probably completely different to this (possibly made up) scenario but I respect people who take any job while looking for another one.

I know a lot of highly educated people who were laid off their high paying jobs who complained “there’s no work out there”. There was work out there just not what they wanted to do. They would rather sit there for months and months unemployed then take a job they felt was beneath them. I know a guy right now with kids who hasn’t worked in 6 months, another friend who’s a cleaner offered him some of his own shifts just so he could have a bit of money in his pocket and he turned it down. I have zero respect for that guy now. If he didn’t have kids I’d pray his benefit’s get cut off

 

[Frode Falch]

I didnt read. But its never ever a good thing to hold a grudge. It hurra you way more then the other person.

 

[Phlog]

A long time ago when I was in my early 20s I worked along with some high school kids. I had mental health issues and a long criminal record so getting a job wasnt easy. I spent most of my early teens in california youth authority and later in and out of county jail. you cant pick and choose jobs. You just have to go with what you can get. I wasnt allowed to do some things like I wasnt allowed to hold any keys.

I could tell the kids I worked with looked down on me. I was the oldest one there. they were all around 16 to 18 years old. They used to make fun of me for taking public transportation. Listening to them talk about homework and college was what really got to me. I knew I wasnt going anywhere with my record. There was this one blonde girl who made me feel the worst.

anyway many many years later I cleaned up but I had no goal. I didnt work on anything, i just let life take me wherever. They got rid of my job position but they moved me to blue collar work. I learned this and that, got some certifications and next thing you know Im in a union, I bought a house, I paid off the house, Im making pretty good money, Im already vetted for pension, wont be long before I can retire from working altogether at a relatively young age.

then I found out not too long ago that the one blonde girl went to school to be an accountant, got married, got promoted, bought a house, had kids..
then she got laid off, got divorced, had her house foreclosed. She's at the very bottom. She came back to the same work she had when she was 16 making minimum wage

probably thorugh no fault of her own she lost everything
and through not much effort, Im doing better than most people

not sure wehther to gloat or to feel sorry for her

But for the grace of God, there go I.

We can all die in a moment, what makes us we don't choose, this is what is, always.

Nothing is either good nor bad but thinking makes it so (The immortal bard).

 

[Phlog]

Being petty is great.

I was madly in love with this good little Christian girl in high school and she friend-zoned me and went on to date this total loser, he was dumb, ugly, and according to her he pretty much raped her and took her virginity. She dumped him but never reported it.

The guy just had no redeeming qualities so it really hurt that she chose him of all people over me.

Well fast forward 20 years and she tracks me down online, tells me that she's married with 2 kids, and just filed for divorce because her husband can't stop cheating. She's a little flirty, hinting that she should've dated me back in high school. And asks me if I'm married.

So I reply by going on and on about how great my wife is and how solid our marriage is. Just piling it on and making her feel worse about her situation.

It was petty, but she made me feel bad so I had to return the favor. Who the fuck does she think she is, calling me out of desperation to raise some other dude's kids. Fuck that.

I imagine she was pretty desperate.

 

[freakroor]

holding a grudge is one of the worst things you can do for your mental health. forgive everyone , wish them the best, and never look back.

 

[TheTickG]

A long time ago when I was in my early 20s I worked along with some high school kids. I had mental health issues and a long criminal record so getting a job wasnt easy. I spent most of my early teens in california youth authority and later in and out of county jail. you cant pick and choose jobs. You just have to go with what you can get. I wasnt allowed to do some things like I wasnt allowed to hold any keys.

I could tell the kids I worked with looked down on me. I was the oldest one there. they were all around 16 to 18 years old. They used to make fun of me for taking public transportation. Listening to them talk about homework and college was what really got to me. I knew I wasnt going anywhere with my record. There was this one blonde girl who made me feel the worst.

anyway many many years later I cleaned up but I had no goal. I didnt work on anything, i just let life take me wherever. They got rid of my job position but they moved me to blue collar work. I learned this and that, got some certifications and next thing you know Im in a union, I bought a house, I paid off the house, Im making pretty good money, Im already vetted for pension, wont be long before I can retire from working altogether at a relatively young age.

then I found out not too long ago that the one blonde girl went to school to be an accountant, got married, got promoted, bought a house, had kids..
then she got laid off, got divorced, had her house foreclosed. She's at the very bottom. She came back to the same work she had when she was 16 making minimum wage

probably thorugh no fault of her own she lost everything
and through not much effort, Im doing better than most people

not sure wehther to gloat or to feel sorry for her

Feel nothing. That's what you should feel.

 

[I Am Legion]

I am not a grudge person because I let out my defenses and feelings as soon as something fucked up happens.

 

[ObsoleteSoul]

Not sure I would say petty, but it is unproductive. Best to let it go and drop those folks and not concentrate your attention on them whatsoever.