I haven't had a day off in a month (advice thread)

If ever a man needed George Costanza...
You need to get into importing/exporting, my friend
 
AgonyandIrony said:
my boss says if I quit he loses the restaurant and I cost everyone their jobs .
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If he really said this and you believe he meant it, ask for a significance raise.

As everyone else mentioned, Health > Salary. But if the pay is attractive you can sucked it up a little for short term since you are having family issues that requires your financial aid.
 
You need to be careful about how much you help your family. Your mother lost her business so she needs help from both you and your sister to keep her house? If this is a temporary situation and she has a plan, that's one thing, but if she doesn't then maybe she simply cannot afford the house.

Also, thirty days with no time off is unacceptable unless you are extremely well compensated. Look for something else. If your boss tells you that his business cannot survive without you, your pay should reflect that. If his business needs you to work endlessly on slave wages to survive it's a bad business and you need to get out of dodge.

Taking care of yourself isn't selfish. You owe nothing to the business and you're doing what you can for your family. It's important to take care of yourself, build a better life, so if your family needs your support down the line you're better situated. Don't sacrifice your future to the present unless it's ABSOLUTELY necessary. Saving a house may not be absolutely necessary.
 
Fall in the kitchen and file for work comp, that way u get time off and get paid. If the bizz goes under, you will be able to get unemployement or disability(depending on how bad you hurt yoself). Also there is Alfax too.
 
You are in an industry where turnover is common and not really frowned upon. You got your experience there and you can move on to something else fairly easily. This would be a much more difficult decision if it wasn't the culinary industry.
 
Have a good look at your life and the people that surround you as it could be that... they're just dicks.

C0NkqS.gif
 
You are not responsible for your nephew's happiness. That's on your sister - seems she's a single parent here and was living in a apartment and now likes the idea of a house with a live in babysitter/grandparent but can't afford that lifestyle herself so tries to guilt you into supporting her lifestyle. Where is the nephews father in all of this?

Your boss on the other hand - screw him, and you have ZERO responsibility to your coworkers unless you own the place. Look for a better job - if you are as good as you profess to be you should be able to choose from multiple offers with better pay and more time off.

You do have to look after Mom though. Doesn't look like she can afford to keep the house though, unless it's just a rough patch until she can get her feet back under her.
 
You're only worth what someone is willing to pay you. So the answer is to go out and look for another job. Get some other offers, then you have the much easier task of simply choosing the best option.
 
shockaholic12 said:
Tell the boss you made a doctors appointment because your hand is having nerve issues related to being over worked. The dude is running your health into the ground because it's cheaper than hiring another good guy to back you up. Fuck him.

Then take the day off and go apply at other restaurants where the owners know what they are doing.
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Agreed. Fuck him.

TS, he places the survival of the restaurant on you. You don't underpay the one person holding your business together.

Go somewhere else. Get benefits. Take care of your health.
 
AgonyandIrony said:
I moved back to Tulsa for " a month" to help my mother with bills. She lost her business, her car and she was going through a divorce so I moved in (my sister got rid of her beautiful apartment and moved in to the same house with her son to help as well) my mother says is I move out she loses the house, my sister says if I do I'm ruining my nephews life, my boss says if I quit he loses the restaurant and I cost everyone their jobs .

What would my Sherbros do in this situation?
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Bro, WTF? Listen, blood is thicker than water and all that but where are your family member's going with that guilt trip shit? Ruin your nephew's life? are you his dad all of a sudden? So what, you moving out of your mother renders his life what exactly?

I know you mentioned you moved in to help with bills, and I'm guessing the same applies to your sister?

First things first though...tell your manager you want a rise. If he refuses leave. He can't lumber you with the responsibility of others. Tell your mum to find work, asap. That the honest truth. And lastly tell your sister to do her part too and that doesn't include guilt tripping you.
 
Loiosh said:
You need to be careful about how much you help your family. Your mother lost her business so she needs help from both you and your sister to keep her house? If this is a temporary situation and she has a plan, that's one thing, but if she doesn't then maybe she simply cannot afford the house.

Also, thirty days with no time off is unacceptable unless you are extremely well compensated. Look for something else. If your boss tells you that his business cannot survive without you, your pay should reflect that. If his business needs you to work endlessly on slave wages to survive it's a bad business and you need to get out of dodge.

Taking care of yourself isn't selfish. You owe nothing to the business and you're doing what you can for your family. It's important to take care of yourself, build a better life, so if your family needs your support down the line you're better situated. Don't sacrifice your future to the present unless it's ABSOLUTELY necessary. Saving a house may not be absolutely necessary.
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I agree with all this advice

Be really careful about how you are helping out your family. You don't want them to expect or rely on you for the rest of your life. You have to be clear this is temporary and start planning and explaining your way out.

Also agree with everyone else that if you are as important to the job as you say you are the boss will either pay you more or give you time off. If not maybe it's time to find another job.
 
AgonyandIrony said:
So I share my personal life on here a lot. If you don't know I'm the head chef of a noodle bar in a swank part of town. My boss is clueless, underpays me, and I work my ass off every day to send out the best food I can , as head chef the success of this restaurant means just as much to me as the owner.

But it's been over a month since I've had a day off. Three times a week my right hand basically quits working now, and my body is in so much pain I can't train BJJ. I've not done stand up in a month, just too exhausted.

I moved back to Tulsa for " a month" to help my mother with bills. She lost her business, her car and she was going through a divorce so I moved in (my sister got rid of her beautiful apartment and moved in to the same house with her son to help as well) my mother says is I move out she loses the house, my sister says if I do I'm ruining my nephews life, my boss says if I quit he loses the restaurant and I cost everyone their jobs .

What would my Sherbros do in this situation?
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Do whatever you have to do.

Family first.
Boss's in the end will take care of themselves. So do for yourself.

It's not rocket science.
 
How you gonna "help out" if you don't have a job?
 
Learn to use your leverage...first step is knowing exactly how much leverage you have. You say you hold all the cards so talk to your boss. I would be constantly looking out for jobs but in the meantime bluff your boss. Tell him you can't keep up this pace and you need more dough or you're going elsewhere. Demand at least one set day off and whatever you think you're worth pay wise.

Until you've done that you don't really have a predicament you have a lack of communication .
 
RedRocket44 said:
Uhh I have 4 weeks off a year and I'm pretty happy, so going without more than a weekend off for a few months at a time isn't out of the ordinary. Basically a week off every 3 months if I want to plan it like that.

Are you saying you haven't had even a single weekend off in a month, or just a personal holiday / vacation day? Are you getting stat holiday's off?
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I get a Wednesday off a month usually.

I've actually worked open to close by myself on a Saturday at this place. It was insane.
mushishi said:
Ask him for a day or two off a week. Train a sou chef to cover for you on your day(s) off. Your life and health are worth more than any job.
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I work with what I have. My sous handles the mornings, which he understaffs as it is, and because she has a child she can't work weekends. I'm training two new people right now, but he hired them without my approval. They have like fast food experience so I'm going to have to teach them from the ground up which puts even more strain on dinner service.
 
cartizel said:
Bro, WTF? Listen, blood is thicker than water and all that but where are your family member's going with that guilt trip shit? Ruin your nephew's life? are you his dad all of a sudden? So what, you moving out of your mother renders his life what exactly?

I know you mentioned you moved in to help with bills, and I'm guessing the same applies to your sister?

First things first though...tell your manager you want a rise. If he refuses leave. He can't lumber you with the responsibility of others. Tell your mum to find work, asap. That the honest truth. And lastly tell your sister to do her part too and that doesn't include guilt tripping you.
Click to expand...

Yeah same applies to my sister. We both moved in so the bank won't foreclose. The house is in a nice part of the city and the bills are fucking ridiculous. I want to save some money to leave the state but there's always some crisis.

Basically they tell me if I move out I'll be rendering all three of them homeless. Job tells me if I leave I render everyone unemployed, and one of the biggest reasons I stay is because I've worked over a decade to become a head chef so I want to make it work.
 
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