HOLY SH1t! I FOUGHT AN AIKIDO BLACKBELT TODAY AND ALMOST KILLED HIM!

Today I was at the gym, and like, there was this Aikido class next door, and the sensei was teaching them some totally crap stuff while I was walking to get a drink. So I looked in and put on my "mocking" face, and he sensed me at the door and asked me to come in.

I responded "yo, sup mah ?" and he was offended - I don't know why, he was a fat white dude. Anyways, I notice that there is a cute Japanese chick in the room and I totally pop wood.

The sensei sees this and thinks I'm being rude and then tells me that I am rude and then he says "you are being rude" and then says I must learn a lesson for being rude and then tells me I have to fight one of his Aikidoka students. I like, totally don't want to do it, because like, I'll like, totally kill them (see they don't realise I'm a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and I've grappled for 18 years).

But he insists and then the doors close! I look behind me with a really killer look and see that two japanese students (guys) have shut the door...now it's on, I'm like, totally trapped and I know how Bruce felt when he was trapped in like, Enter the Dragon in the mirror house...because there's a mirror in the room - its good to know that my boner is waning, because I like, totally can't fight with a boner.

THEN! the japanese girl smiles at me, totally cause like she knows I popped wood for her, and then the sensei throws her onto the floor and she's all like "HELP ME MAGIC MAN!" (thats like, totally not my real name though).

So I say "let the girl go you fat bastard!" and the Aikido sensei like motions with his eyes and out of nowhere two orange belts like totally attack me with their ki from both sides! So then I totally step back and then KO each other with ki and I stand there with an expression that says "only one of us will walk out of this room alive you fat bastard!".

Then I like fight the rest of his aikidoka and I feel like Jet Li in Fist of Legend because I'm like PWNing everyone - and like the little japanese chick is like fingering herself and totally ejaculating all over the place cause I'm like fighting and shit.

Well I go through all of them like a hot knife through butter, and then the sensei says "NOW! YOU FIGHT ME!" and like this fatass tries this flying clothesline and like totally lands short and his knees like buckle and then i see my opportunity and fucking get him in a double leg and then I get like mount. The fat fuck, then grabs my balls - but luckily I always wear a cup and tries to molet me, but I punch his nose and he screams some shit out and then totally tries to reverse me.

Luckily, I always grapple really huge men and I can keep him down, then I choke him out with a collar choke and like the guy passes out...then I say to myself out loud "I will let him live" and the japanese chick totally is like happy and runs over and grinds her wet pussy on my leg. I'm like totally horny and I bring her to the toilet and fuck her three ways and then jizz onto her face.

Fuck man, I'm glad my bjj totally works.

- m

 

you are shooto arent you !!1!

 

i fucking told you but nooooo no one believed me

 

A

 

fuck yu0 guys, th1s shit is like tot4lly true.

 

didnt read ......too long

 

wow times like this make you pray for a fatsexy story

 

ahhhhh hmmm ( cough) (cough).....bullshit

 

Ok then I beleive you. Did you also fly and transport your self to another dimension

 

and at first i was really believing :/

 

nope sure don't but i don't lie either

 

chicks grinding on your leg? sounds more like a disco tech...

 

I didn't need to man, I like pwn3d everyone. Besides, Ben Parker was in the other dimension and if two demension travellers are in the same place, then like time will be destroyed and everyone will be like late for work and shit.

 

I want to see a film about this

 

I call BULLSHIT... how could they see you popped wood while you were wearing a cup?

 

like for sure

 

she had clean shaved cooch, it was nice, no abrassions.

 

btw did u imagine that dressed up like bill the butcher? that way the story would be cooler.

 

erm...I'll get back to you on that one.

Little non-believing fucker

 

well i think i've said enough