HOLY SH1t! I FOUGHT AN AIKIDO BLACKBELT TODAY AND ALMOST KILLED HIM!

Discussion in 'Archives' started by Magic Man, Jul 31, 2003.

  1. Magic Man

    Magic Man Guest

    Today I was at the gym, and like, there was this Aikido class next door, and the sensei was teaching them some totally crap stuff while I was walking to get a drink. So I looked in and put on my "mocking" face, and he sensed me at the door and asked me to come in.

    I responded "yo, sup mah :eek::eek::eek::eek::eek:?" and he was offended - I don't know why, he was a fat white dude. Anyways, I notice that there is a cute Japanese chick in the room and I totally pop wood.

    The sensei sees this and thinks I'm being rude and then tells me that I am rude and then he says "you are being rude" and then says I must learn a lesson for being rude and then tells me I have to fight one of his Aikidoka students. I like, totally don't want to do it, because like, I'll like, totally kill them (see they don't realise I'm a black belt in Tae Kwon Do and I've grappled for 18 years).

    But he insists and then the doors close! I look behind me with a really killer look and see that two japanese students (guys) have shut the door...now it's on, I'm like, totally trapped and I know how Bruce felt when he was trapped in like, Enter the Dragon in the mirror house...because there's a mirror in the room - its good to know that my boner is waning, because I like, totally can't fight with a boner.

    THEN! the japanese girl smiles at me, totally cause like she knows I popped wood for her, and then the sensei throws her onto the floor and she's all like "HELP ME MAGIC MAN!" (thats like, totally not my real name though).

    So I say "let the girl go you fat bastard!" and the Aikido sensei like motions with his eyes and out of nowhere two orange belts like totally attack me with their ki from both sides! So then I totally step back and then KO each other with ki and I stand there with an expression that says "only one of us will walk out of this room alive you fat bastard!".

    Then I like fight the rest of his aikidoka and I feel like Jet Li in Fist of Legend because I'm like PWNing everyone - and like the little japanese chick is like fingering herself and totally ejaculating all over the place cause I'm like fighting and shit.

    Well I go through all of them like a hot knife through butter, and then the sensei says "NOW! YOU FIGHT ME!" and like this fatass tries this flying clothesline and like totally lands short and his knees like buckle and then i see my opportunity and fucking get him in a double leg and then I get like mount. The fat fuck, then grabs my balls - but luckily I always wear a cup and tries to molet me, but I punch his nose and he screams some shit out and then totally tries to reverse me.

    Luckily, I always grapple really huge men and I can keep him down, then I choke him out with a collar choke and like the guy passes out...then I say to myself out loud "I will let him live" and the japanese chick totally is like happy and runs over and grinds her wet pussy on my leg. I'm like totally horny and I bring her to the toilet and fuck her three ways and then jizz onto her face.

    Fuck man, I'm glad my bjj totally works.

    - m
     
    SuperLuigi likes this.
  2. xpantsx

    xpantsx Reactor Party Lynx

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    you are shooto arent you !!1!
     
  3. Dragnnzero

    Dragnnzero Green Belt

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    i fucking told you but nooooo no one believed me
     
  4. Hagler

    Hagler Man of wealth and taste

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  5. Magic Man

    Magic Man Guest

    fuck yu0 guys, th1s shit is like tot4lly true.
     
  6. The Ujac

    The Ujac Guest

    didnt read ......too long :D
     
  7. Invincible420

    Invincible420 Brown Belt

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    wow times like this make you pray for a fatsexy story
     
  8. Dragnnzero

    Dragnnzero Green Belt

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    ahhhhh hmmm ( cough) (cough).....bullshit
     
  9. catweefungepant

    catweefungepant Blue Belt

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    Ok then I beleive you. Did you also fly and transport your self to another dimension
     
  10. maxaug

    maxaug Guest

    and at first i was really believing :/
     
  11. Dragnnzero

    Dragnnzero Green Belt

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    nope sure don't but i don't lie either
     
  12. Diamond Dawg

    Diamond Dawg Purple Belt

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    chicks grinding on your leg? sounds more like a disco tech...
     
  13. Magic Man

    Magic Man Guest

    I didn't need to man, I like pwn3d everyone. Besides, Ben Parker was in the other dimension and if two demension travellers are in the same place, then like time will be destroyed and everyone will be like late for work and shit.
     
  14. donegal

    donegal Red Belt

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    I want to see a film about this
     
  15. Jack Putz

    Jack Putz Guest

    I call BULLSHIT... how could they see you popped wood while you were wearing a cup?
     
  16. Dragnnzero

    Dragnnzero Green Belt

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    like for sure
     
  17. Magic Man

    Magic Man Guest

    she had clean shaved cooch, it was nice, no abrassions.
     
  18. maxaug

    maxaug Guest

    btw did u imagine that dressed up like bill the butcher? that way the story would be cooler.
     
  19. Magic Man

    Magic Man Guest

    erm...I'll get back to you on that one.

    Little non-believing fucker :mad:
     
  20. Dragnnzero

    Dragnnzero Green Belt

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    well i think i've said enough
     

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