Hilarious Quote

Henry Swanson

Excitement’s my game
May 19, 2003
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Just read the new Alwyn Cosgrove article over at T-mag and this quote about gym boot camps had me in stitches.

"Boot camp is where trainee soldiers go to learn the art of war, get in shape, and prepare to be on the front line. What your gym offers is known to children all around the world as playing soldier.

Dressing up in green camouflage and having someone yelling at you to keep your feet six inches off the ground while you're lying in the mud is not cutting edge fitness training. Its cutting edge fucking stupid is what it is."

"Every restaurant and deli on the face of this country puts a green, lumpy, decomposing, venereal-disease ridden penis on my plate. Or chopped up in my sandwich.

Oozing green fluids.

In the US they call it a dill pickle and it is clearly the sign of the devil. It is a dead decomposing cucumber that looks like a penis, and it's been kept from rotting by liberal use of vinegar. And you expect me to eat it?

I do not like green penises with my lunch, I do not like them Sam-I-am."


Here's a link to the full article

Yeah, that article is golden.
I don't mind dill pickles as long as they're not served on top a sloppy joe.
Thanks for the link, that was a great read, had me laughing a couple times.
That article had me laughing a lot. Makes a lot of sense. I vote that article be put in the stickes
Nice article, made me laugh a bit, The whole "boot camp" bollocks has pissed me off for a while now. Had a friend who went on at me about how tough his "military fitness" class was and how it was making him into an endurance machine, he was still a wimp who could barely do 25 pressups.
Yeah I must say that after all t-mag continue to produce golden articles. Now If I only didnt have to hear about some freaking "surge" when I am reading them it would be a perfect world. Not bitching about it though, easy enough to just jump over it...
The bootcamp thing got me because everytime I open up our local newspaper I always see an ad for "bootcamp" style training with a picture of some soccer mom decked out in full camo-gear.
By the time I was through with basic I was doing 75 push-ups in 2 minutes. Pretty sad, I know. My last PT test I did 82.
Oddly enough, dan john claims to play soldier (camp) in his article today, for different reasons than most though.