- Joined
- Jun 10, 2007
- Messages
- 8,944
- Reaction score
- 6,325
The Crazy Cat Lady:
About a month ago, I'm doing some serious Day drinking with some buddies downtown. We notice this gorgeous blonde girl sitting all by herself at the bar eating a salad wedge and drinking a PBR and I laughed and thought, now that's my kind of girl. She's piqued the interest of everyone at the place, including my friends who are all talking about getting her over to drink with us... But no ones done anything yet. I watched some idiot plea bargain himself a temporary set of testicles, go over and get shut down hard... Now I'm really liking this girl. So on my way back from the bathroom, being about three drinks deep... I thought 'what the hell' and walked over to her.
She looks at me while I was walking up and I notice she has the most piercing green eyes, so I give her the most backhanded compliment I could think of and said "Are those Contacts?" She smiles at first, then thinks about what I had just asked and replies that they aren't while looking confused. As if she couldn't tell if I was being a dick or not... I pointed in the general direction of the guy from earlier and joked that she was cold for shutting that him down and she replied that he wasn't her type of guy, but with a bit of a sly smirk. So, I asked her why she was sitting by herself and she tells me that she just moved from another city for work and doesn't really know anyone yet. So I told her that she was coming over to meet some awesome people and that we were doing a shot. She came with me, seemed grateful for the invite to actually meet people and does not just one, but two shots with us... And this girl is awesome... She's talking sports, talking shots and even giving my buddy shit for being such a pussy because he was drinking a chick drink.
We're both having a great time, so we all head over to a different spot... It's the just two of us in our own conversation now and I could sense it was going very well which was further compounded when I upped my game by telling her I thought we were going to be good friends/that she should come hang out with us whenever she wanted, really emphasizing the 'us...' meaning all of us. She looked bewildered by that comment and it took her five minutes of us talking about something else before she said "So... when you say friends, do you mean you've already decided there's no chance we're going to be anything else."
*Just a little Pro-tip, Fella's: When dealing with a girl that's used to having guys fall all over themselves for her, be a gentleman at all times, but treat her this exact way. In fact, Friendzone her...
So I just laughed it off, joked with her about something else and quickly changed the subject. But that damage to her ego had already been done and even worse, I'd joked it off... not denied it. That was the last push to her working for my attention that I needed, because about thirty minutes later, I feel her hand on my leg. We go outside for something and it's definitely on... We start making out. And then she's like "Why don't we go back to my place in a bit. It's just up the street." So I agree and we all hit another spot before just the two of us head back to her place... We get there and it's a decent place. Studio, but a nice building.
We walk in, her cat is sitting on her bed and she introduces us. Like... Formally introduces us. I'm a little drunk and thought it was funny, but then it starts... She begins to baby talk her cat... for a while. And you know when someone is doing something so uncomfortable that all you can do is laugh and hope they take the uncomfortable laugh hint and just stop... but somehow they just keep right on going? But even still, she kept right on doing it for a really awkward amount of time. So, now I'm a little suspicious. This girl has been unbelievably cool the entire night and now she's holding a full on baby-talk conversation with her cat after the formal introductions to it. I start to think she's blowing me off and get the clarification that is exactly what's happening when, while she's launching into a whole scenario about how she got the cat and their road trip here together, I text my Best Friend (Who happens to be a girl) to ask her what this could be about and she tells me "Yeah, she's blowing you off."
So, being a Gentleman... I decide to just leave. But it was so over the top I was slightly offended at the way in which she was choosing to do it. So, I just made it simple, smiled and said "Hey thanks for the tour (It was a studio) but I actually should head back to meet my friends for a bit." She gives me a disappointed face I can't read and says ok, I guess I'll see you around. And just like that... I'm out of there. But her reaction confused me and as I'm walking back to the strip where my friends were and now that I finally have a chance to check out her facebook (We added each other earlier that night) I notice that the last five posts on her wall are about her Cat. I go a little further and literally every other post is related her cat...
And I'm not just talking about simple "Hey, here's my cat..." With a picture of it and then just calling it a day. I'm talking about multiple pictures of the cat with multiple hashtags for each one like #handsome, #Gato, #ilovemycat and my personal favorite #fancyfeast. She even had the song he was named after in between these posts with a reference to the little guy.
Huge bullet dodged.
She began texting me almost immediately asking why I left in such a hurry and if everything was ok. I could have lived with the fact that a seriously hot girl was blowing me off... But this scenario just disturbs me.
She just text me today and simply said "Round Two Sat???"
It took everything I had not to reply: That would be a no... #crazycatlady #thanksanyways #enjoydatcatdoe
She wanted you to bang the cat IMO.