First date horror stories

equus said:
this reminds me of the time my old roommate Robert banged this chick that worked at a Jack Stack barbeque with him. he was in his 20's and she was like 19. well he hit it and then moved to Atlanta like 5 dys later to take another job. that left me and his brother to live in our townhouse while one of our buddies finished out his lease for a month before he moved in. so John (Roberts brother) and I both worked at a bar and worked together a lot. so our house was without anyone in it a lot that month, well on occasion, we would come home to a door open (just unlocked) and a tv on.

one Saturday am, John and I went to grab some IHOP or something and when we left, we noticed a car sitting at the end of our driveway across the street. someone sitting in it. thought nothing of it. we came back an hour and a half later, still there. so he and I go in and play madden or something half the day. then around 3pm my fwb came by for some nookie. she comes in and one of the first things she says is "you guys know theres a girl sitting in a car across the street?" I look at John and have an oh shit moment. I look outside and sure enough, shes still sitting there. 6-7 hours later. I say the hell with it and walk out to talk to her. as im crossing the street, her car fires up and she tears off. so im like ok, weird. I go in and my fwb and I do our thing. she leaves around 5pm or so and almost immediately she calls me and says "shes back again. this time down the street on the opposite side, like 4 houses down." I look out and as I do, a squad car pulls up and as she sees it, she tries to pull away. as she does, it lights her up and ironically she has to stop right in front of our townhouse. so a backup unit arrives and after 15 minutes when John and I are sitting on our steps, the second officer walks up and asks which one of us is Robert? John starts laughing hysterically and says "that's my brother. he moved away." well it turned out that was the chick he used to work with and apparently she had a huge ass butcher knife in her car. I guess she was mad because she liked Robert and he wouldn't return her calls, because he banged her and moved to Atlanta. they ended up arresting her for stalking or something and a neighbor had seen her out there for a couple hours the second time and called it in. when they did an inventory of her car while they were showing us the knife, John and I both noticed a very distinct Cornhuskers key (that's where Robert and John were from) that Robert had lost. turns out that psycho had stolen it when they banged, or at work. she was going in our townhouse when we weren't home.
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:eek: This is one of the more terrifying things that I have ever read.
 
damn i remember this thread

weird reading about my dates now that im engaged to my dreamgirl lol
 
equus said:
this reminds me of the time my old roommate Robert banged this chick that worked at a Jack Stack barbeque with him. he was in his 20's and she was like 19. well he hit it and then moved to Atlanta like 5 dys later to take another job. that left me and his brother to live in our townhouse while one of our buddies finished out his lease for a month before he moved in. so John (Roberts brother) and I both worked at a bar and worked together a lot. so our house was without anyone in it a lot that month, well on occasion, we would come home to a door open (just unlocked) and a tv on.

one Saturday am, John and I went to grab some IHOP or something and when we left, we noticed a car sitting at the end of our driveway across the street. someone sitting in it. thought nothing of it. we came back an hour and a half later, still there. so he and I go in and play madden or something half the day. then around 3pm my fwb came by for some nookie. she comes in and one of the first things she says is "you guys know theres a girl sitting in a car across the street?" I look at John and have an oh shit moment. I look outside and sure enough, shes still sitting there. 6-7 hours later. I say the hell with it and walk out to talk to her. as im crossing the street, her car fires up and she tears off. so im like ok, weird. I go in and my fwb and I do our thing. she leaves around 5pm or so and almost immediately she calls me and says "shes back again. this time down the street on the opposite side, like 4 houses down." I look out and as I do, a squad car pulls up and as she sees it, she tries to pull away. as she does, it lights her up and ironically she has to stop right in front of our townhouse. so a backup unit arrives and after 15 minutes when John and I are sitting on our steps, the second officer walks up and asks which one of us is Robert? John starts laughing hysterically and says "that's my brother. he moved away." well it turned out that was the chick he used to work with and apparently she had a huge ass butcher knife in her car. I guess she was mad because she liked Robert and he wouldn't return her calls, because he banged her and moved to Atlanta. they ended up arresting her for stalking or something and a neighbor had seen her out there for a couple hours the second time and called it in. when they did an inventory of her car while they were showing us the knife, John and I both noticed a very distinct Cornhuskers key (that's where Robert and John were from) that Robert had lost. turns out that psycho had stolen it when they banged, or at work. she was going in our townhouse when we weren't home.
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That is fucking scary. Had to call the cops on an ex before. Insane shit.
 
sub_thug said:
A
So my friend (we will call him Mike) meets this girl (we will call her Brittany)
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Whenever people say this, I assume those are the actual, real names they're using.

Because you'd expect it to be any name BUT those names.
 
Omegaboy13 said:
Haha! Daytona, Orlando, Tampa?

People in Florida are strange in general.

Holllly shit! This reminds me of a date I had in Jacksonville Florida. I think the PTSD I received put this one in the back of my mind.

Talked to a girl on POF and I picked her up at her house. She was pretty chubby, but had one of the prettiest faces I had ever seen.

We started driving to a dive bar, I was new in town(like 2 weeks). She told me a story about how some guy tried to beat her up that she met on POF because she wouldn't sleep with him. This should have been a warning sign..... but of course I pushed on. At the bar she seemed normal enough. Got to talking about generic stuff. She was wearing a cute skirt, really nice, big boobies.

Some how we got onto the topic of strip clubs because there are a ton of them around Mayport naval base there. I had never been to one so I started telling her about it. She insisted that we go to one. I thought it was weird for a first date, but she kept insisting upon it.

So there I went, to the strip club with some chick I had just met. When we walked in, she knew like 2 of the bouncers. At this point it in my mind I was like "red flag number 17". She starts getting wasted(on my dime by the way). Took $200 out of the ATM, figured I'd at least have some fun at the club because I didn't plan on ever going to a titty bar again. This chick started letting the strippers suck on her boobs and stuff...... in front of all the other guys in the club..... did I mention this was a first date?

Anywho. We started talking to this couple that were there. The chick was super cute, looked like a short little pocahontas. The guy was a total tool, but she was all over the girl I was with. When her man went to the bathroom she started making out with the girl I was with. The girl I was with starts inviting everyone back to her house, including like 5 other guys. So now I'm sitting at her house with her and the pocahontas girl her plastered boyfriend and 5 random sketchy dudes from the club. The plastered boyfriend starts getting a little bit too hands on with me, and accusing the girl I'm with of trying to get a train run on her. That was the most honest and true thing I heard all night, but I didn't know why he wanted to fight me. I go into the back and the Pocahontas girl is walking to the bathroom. She sees me, leaves the door open, flashes her vag at me, squats down and starts taking a piss, the whole time staring me down. Very unusual.

Eventually all of the guys there start to realize that I'm not fucking around anymore and I kick them all out sans the plastered redneck boyfriend, my "date", and his pocahontas girlfriend. The guy insists on driving home, but he cant walk. I tell his girl to stay, because at the least I was definitely going to bang her. Well she goes with him. 30 minutes later, she texts me that he got a DUI, and shes on her way to the drunk tank. The date I was with lets me sleep in her bed, but I definitely didn't want to sleep with this whore. She tried sucking me off in the middle of the night and I just got up and went to the bathroom and never came back.

Oddest, weirdest date I've ever had. Probably spent $300-400 on an interns salary, Almost got into a fight numerous times, went to a strip club for the first time, had a date expose her self and have her boobs sucked on by a haggard stripper, had some girl pee in front of me for no reason, had a jekyl/hide date, almost had a threesome, think I prevented a train/rape, and the crazy texts and calls I got from both of those chicks in the subsequent days were nutso. What a fucked up time in my life. Glad I snapped back to reality after having a 5-7 month bender.
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So what category from POF did you meet this girl ?
 
I actually had one of these tonight. I met a girl at a bar and she seemed perfectly nice. We hung out and chatted for a bit and I took her home. Right after we did the deed, she turned into a completely different person. She just wouldn't shut up and she wanted to talk about the dumbest shit. Eventually I just drove her home because she was driving me insane. I had intended on having her stay the night, I like hanging out in the morning, I like sharing the bed, but christ this girl just wouldn't shut up. I honestly almost started having a panic attack at one point. In the car when I was dropping her off at her house she played the whole 'can't find my keys lol' move and dragged it out for like 10 minutes. I honestly resent how she ruined a perfectly fine evening. I would have happily seen her again if she hadn't acted like such a crazy person afterwards.
 
Omegaboy13 said:
Haha! Daytona, Orlando, Tampa?

People in Florida are strange in general.

Holllly shit! This reminds me of a date I had in Jacksonville Florida. I think the PTSD I received put this one



but I didn't know why he wanted to fight me. I go into the back and the Pocahontas girl is walking to the bathroom. She sees me, leaves the door open, flashes her vag at me, squats down and starts taking a piss, the whole time staring me down. Very unusual.

Eventually all of the guys there start to realize that I'm not fucking around anymore and I kick them all out sans the plastered redneck boyfriend, my "date", and his pocahontas girlfriend. The guy insists on driving home, but he cant walk. I tell his girl to stay, because at the least I was definitely going to bang her. Well she goes with him. 30 minutes later, she texts me that he got a DUI, and shes on her way to the drunk tank. The date I was with lets me sleep in her bed, but I definitely didn't want to sleep with this whore. She tried sucking me off in the middle of the night and I just got up and went to the bathroom and never came back.
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I had a very similar bathroom incident as u at a party. Girl tried to seduce me by shoving me in the bathroom and pissing in front of me. The whole time staring at me like she was seducing me. Then she asked me to pee in front of her. So I did. Minutes later she was passing out on the couch and a dog was humping her face, she seemed like she was enjoying iT. She really hot too but i couldn't do anything after watching a dog hump her face in front of everyone for several minutes
 
lakersfan45 said:
I had a very similar bathroom incident as u at a party. Girl tried to seduce me by shoving me in the bathroom and pissing in front of me. The whole time staring at me like she was seducing me. Then she asked me to pee in front of her. So I did. Minutes later she was passing out on the couch and a dog was humping her face, she seemed like she was enjoying iT. She really hot too but i couldn't do anything after watching a dog hump her face in front of everyone for several minutes
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How is that hot? I've never understood that. After my second date with this chick and some amazing sex the night before she asked: "Before I go shower, do you need in there for anything (1 bath apartment)?" I said "nah, I'm okay." She said; "That's so weird. I've never seen you pee, at dinner, or last night, or now... Do you pee?" I laughed and said "yeah, I pee" and she said "great. I can't wait to see that later..." uhhhh... what?

Great time in the sack, but that was only one of the weird things she was into. Thankfully I never had that pee thing come up again with her. I'm a bit of a pee shy type of guy, doing it in front of a chick seems even more weird to me...
 
Never understood the appeal of water sports.

Saw a few porn scenes with it, after that I just skip those parts.

I recall Rebecca Linares's only scene with Max Hardcore, he did it on her face without her consent... quite disturbing. And Zafira had a scene which she did the same thing... with her consent... and I could never look at her beautiful face the same way.

I've had alot of weird dates, and very freaky one-night-stands, but never one that suggested water sports... thank god.
 
FwappyEnding said:
How is that hot? I've never understood that. After my second date with this chick and some amazing sex the night before she asked: "Before I go shower, do you need in there for anything (1 bath apartment)?" I said "nah, I'm okay." She said; "That's so weird. I've never seen you pee, at dinner, or last night, or now... Do you pee?" I laughed and said "yeah, I pee" and she said "great. I can't wait to see that later..." uhhhh... what?

Great time in the sack, but that was only one of the weird things she was into. Thankfully I never had that pee thing come up again with her. I'm a bit of a pee shy type of guy, doing it in front of a chick seems even more weird to me...
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Haha the idea of the girl sensually staring him down while pissing in front of him is actually quite hysterical to me. Aspiring screenwriters of raunchy comedies should really come to this veritable gold mine of a thread.
 
FwappyEnding said:
How is that hot? I've never understood that. After my second date with this chick and some amazing sex the night before she asked: "Before I go shower, do you need in there for anything (1 bath apartment)?" I said "nah, I'm okay." She said; "That's so weird. I've never seen you pee, at dinner, or last night, or now... Do you pee?" I laughed and said "yeah, I pee" and she said "great. I can't wait to see that later..." uhhhh... what?

Great time in the sack, but that was only one of the weird things she was into. Thankfully I never had that pee thing come up again with her. I'm a bit of a pee shy type of guy, doing it in front of a chick seems even more weird to me...
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I'd have said yes I pee and then pissed on her.
 
Love this thread.

Managed to get a super hot model back to her house. I'm very nervious this girl is a 10. She says all cute like "ahh I could just snuggle you!" But I didn't hear her right. I thought she said "ahh I could just strangle you!" So I said it back.

Imagine that for a moment. Telling a girl you met that night you want to strangle her. I did not get laid that night. I would like to take a moment to brag and say I did manage to make a pretty funny joke about it a day later which did eventually get me in.
 
equus said:
this reminds me of the time my old roommate Robert banged this chick that worked at a Jack Stack barbeque with him. he was in his 20's and she was like 19. well he hit it and then moved to Atlanta like 5 dys later to take another job. that left me and his brother to live in our townhouse while one of our buddies finished out his lease for a month before he moved in. so John (Roberts brother) and I both worked at a bar and worked together a lot. so our house was without anyone in it a lot that month, well on occasion, we would come home to a door open (just unlocked) and a tv on.

one Saturday am, John and I went to grab some IHOP or something and when we left, we noticed a car sitting at the end of our driveway across the street. someone sitting in it. thought nothing of it. we came back an hour and a half later, still there. so he and I go in and play madden or something half the day. then around 3pm my fwb came by for some nookie. she comes in and one of the first things she says is "you guys know theres a girl sitting in a car across the street?" I look at John and have an oh shit moment. I look outside and sure enough, shes still sitting there. 6-7 hours later. I say the hell with it and walk out to talk to her. as im crossing the street, her car fires up and she tears off. so im like ok, weird. I go in and my fwb and I do our thing. she leaves around 5pm or so and almost immediately she calls me and says "shes back again. this time down the street on the opposite side, like 4 houses down." I look out and as I do, a squad car pulls up and as she sees it, she tries to pull away. as she does, it lights her up and ironically she has to stop right in front of our townhouse. so a backup unit arrives and after 15 minutes when John and I are sitting on our steps, the second officer walks up and asks which one of us is Robert? John starts laughing hysterically and says "that's my brother. he moved away." well it turned out that was the chick he used to work with and apparently she had a huge ass butcher knife in her car. I guess she was mad because she liked Robert and he wouldn't return her calls, because he banged her and moved to Atlanta. they ended up arresting her for stalking or something and a neighbor had seen her out there for a couple hours the second time and called it in. when they did an inventory of her car while they were showing us the knife, John and I both noticed a very distinct Cornhuskers key (that's where Robert and John were from) that Robert had lost. turns out that psycho had stolen it when they banged, or at work. she was going in our townhouse when we weren't home.
Click to expand...

Holy fuckin shit
 
I am embarrassed to admit it, but that lady^ is my mom. My dad starting cheating; mom found out and followed him. I don't remember how long, but mom started sitting outside the mistress' apt in her car while dad was inside. Mom kept a knife.

Mom pretended all was good and gave dad a large bottle of his favorite liquor for some holiday, thinking I guess he would share it with his mistress. She had put thorazine (Chlorpromazine, an anti-psychotic) in it. Apparently, she put a lot.

Dad phoned home from work in a panic. He had shared it with his buddies at work, and they were unconscious.

Nothing became of it legally, but dad did stop cheating.
 
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