First date horror stories

[Bukowski82]

I just glanced at the text before I deleted it, but something about "you are letting me down as a friend....I'm thinking of taking my life"

fuck, gives me shivers just thinking about it. I've been with several girls and women, dating or otherwise, and she's the second to tell me some crazy shit. Another said she was pregnant after we dated for 2 months.

I'm fairly certain I kept any personal info of mine away from her, but I'm a little concerned.

So glad I got outta dodge....

Creepy. Glad you got out of that one...

 

[Dick]

I got a good one, this happened last friday.

After work me and some work buddies started on the beers, went to the pub and had some more. I finally fucked off after I had at least 12, then decided to drive up to the local 7/11 for some smokes and a snack. Outside this tall blonde dressed nicely, but obviously drunk comes up to me and asks to use my phone, her friends ditched her at the pub. Well, I just broke my phone the day before so Me being drunk and friendly invited her over for some beers and doobs until she gets her shit together, And to my surprise, she agreed!

After a couple hours of chit chat, doobs, beers, and a couple shots I told her she could stay the night and we ended up fucking.

Now In the morning, I hear her beside me getting up, getting her things together and getting ready to leave. So obviously I pretend like I'm sleeping ( Don't we all?). When she finally leaves without saying a word or goodbye , I get up to go to the bathroom and see my wallet on the counter, where I usually leave it. I look inside, and my fuckin DEBIT card is missing!

Yes, the bitch I picked up at 7/11, fucked me, then stole my debit card.

 

[FwappyEnding]

I just glanced at the text before I deleted it, but something about "you are letting me down as a friend....I'm thinking of taking my life"

fuck, gives me shivers just thinking about it. I've been with several girls and women, dating or otherwise, and she's the second to tell me some crazy shit. Another said she was pregnant after we dated for 2 months.

I'm fairly certain I kept any personal info of mine away from her, but I'm a little concerned.

So glad I got outta dodge....

Text her tomorrow and ask how's she's feeling. Tell her you're going to go to Chicago for work...

 

[Lost]

I got a good one, this happened last friday.

After work me and some work buddies started on the beers, went to the pub and had some more. I finally fucked off after I had at least 12, then decided to drive up to the local 7/11 for some smokes and a snack. Outside this tall blonde dressed nicely, but obviously drunk comes up to me and asks to use my phone, her friends ditched her at the pub. Well, I just broke my phone the day before so Me being drunk and friendly invited her over for some beers and doobs until she gets her shit together, And to my surprise, she agreed!

After a couple hours of chit chat, doobs, beers, and a couple shots I told her she could stay the night and we ended up fucking.

Now In the morning, I hear her beside me getting up, getting her things together and getting ready to leave. So obviously I pretend like I'm sleeping ( Don't we all?). When she finally leaves without saying a word or goodbye , I get up to go to the bathroom and see my wallet on the counter, where I usually leave it. I look inside, and my fuckin DEBIT card is missing!

Yes, the bitch I picked up at 7/11, fucked me, then stole my debit card.

You don't find classy women at your local 7-11 it seems. writing that advice down in my diary. You cancel the debt card yet or was it not affiliated with a back?

 

[Dick]

You don't find classy women at your local 7-11 it seems. writing that advice down in my diary. You cancel the debt card yet or was it not affiliated with a back?

She was a solid 7. But blonde, and a complete airhead, I'm surprised she had the nerve to steal from me. Thing is my debit card says VISA in big letters on it, I think she thought she was scoring a credit card.

And yeah, I got dressed and immediately went to the bank to get a new card haha.

 

[Lost]

She was a solid 7. But blonde, and a complete airhead, I'm surprised she had the nerve to steal from me. Thing is my debit card says VISA in big letters on it, I think she thought she was scoring a credit card.

And yeah, I got dressed and immediately went to the bank to get a new card haha.

hahha nice. Sounds like you won in the end. I just imagine her dumb face when she tried to use it and it didn't work. The counter filled up with liquor and cigarettes :icon_lol:

 

[equus]

man i forgot the lulz this thread gave.

 

[strangejosh]

This thread really delivers haha.

 

[Philippou4Life]

I got a good one, this happened last friday.

After work me and some work buddies started on the beers, went to the pub and had some more. I finally fucked off after I had at least 12, then decided to drive up to the local 7/11 for some smokes and a snack. Outside this tall blonde dressed nicely, but obviously drunk comes up to me and asks to use my phone, her friends ditched her at the pub. Well, I just broke my phone the day before so Me being drunk and friendly invited her over for some beers and doobs until she gets her shit together, And to my surprise, she agreed!

After a couple hours of chit chat, doobs, beers, and a couple shots I told her she could stay the night and we ended up fucking.

Now In the morning, I hear her beside me getting up, getting her things together and getting ready to leave. So obviously I pretend like I'm sleeping ( Don't we all?). When she finally leaves without saying a word or goodbye , I get up to go to the bathroom and see my wallet on the counter, where I usually leave it. I look inside, and my fuckin DEBIT card is missing!

Yes, the bitch I picked up at 7/11, fucked me, then stole my debit card.

Damn you asked for it

 

[Strychnine]

This thread is pure gold.

 

[dirtypablo]

Bump in hopes of some new stories.

 

[equus]

This is not me, but he guy I worked with for quite a few years. He goes out with the girl that lives a few house down from his parents house. He goes out and ends back at her place. He goes to the bathroom to fart, and craps his pants. So he throws his underwear out the window. But they get stuck in the tree outside the window. So he has to see the underwear in the tree for weeks. Date did not go well.

I dont know how I ever missed this post but fucking shit did I laugh bear...

 

[WalkenWouldOwn]

I did end up bangin later on, don't hate me for ever fierce haha

No. No you didn't.

 

[Henry Huggins]

How's about a second date horror story?

I was a very late bloomer. Was a fat, shy person for most of my life until I started working out and forcing myself to socialize more. I met my first girlfriend at bar when I was 25. She was exactly what I had been dreaming of for my whole life. Super cute. Athletic. Great cook. Worked out like crazy. She had a great job. Smart. Good taste in music. Blah blah.

First date went well. Classic dinner and a movie with a kiss at the end. I remember cuddling on the couch with her thinking "man, if this goes any farther, I have no idea what to do." but of course we kept it innocent.

Second date we were supposed to meet some of her friends at the bar. We start pre-gaming at her place listening to some tunes. 1 drink turned into about 7 or 8 and before we knew it, it was midnight.

I was drunk, she was drunk and we weren't going anywhere. She grabbed the bottle and her laptop and said "wanna see my room?" I was like "fuck yes!" in my mind but played it cool. We go in there, short tour. She presses play on her laptop and we start dancing a bit. At this point, we are pretty wasted. We're knocking things off of her table and stumbling against the wall. I knew this was the moment. Losing the V card.

I take one more sip out of my cup and then I said fuck it. I grabbed her wrist and pinned her against the wall. Makeout. Clothes off. Bed. She gives me a bit of a handy. More making out. Starts rubbing her pussy all over my dick. This goes on for oh 10 minutes.

10 minutes later I was thinking to myself "wtf. Shit's not getting hard." She jumps on top and says "what do you want?" This being my first time, I had no idea so I said something stupid like "you." She rubs the vag a little more on me and not shit is happening down there. Finally I say "babe, I think I drank too much."

So long story short, first time I was about to have sex after years and YEARS of waiting, I whiskey dicked myself.

 

[KOPower24]

How's about a second date horror story?

I was a very late bloomer. Was a fat, shy person for most of my life until I started working out and forcing myself to socialize more. I met my first girlfriend at bar when I was 25. She was exactly what I had been dreaming of for my whole life. Super cute. Athletic. Great cook. Worked out like crazy. She had a great job. Smart. Good taste in music. Blah blah.

First date went well. Classic dinner and a movie with a kiss at the end. I remember cuddling on the couch with her thinking "man, if this goes any farther, I have no idea what to do." but of course we kept it innocent.

Second date we were supposed to meet some of her friends at the bar. We start pre-gaming at her place listening to some tunes. 1 drink turned into about 7 or 8 and before we knew it, it was midnight.

I was drunk, she was drunk and we weren't going anywhere. She grabbed the bottle and her laptop and said "wanna see my room?" I was like "fuck yes!" in my mind but played it cool. We go in there, short tour. She presses play on her laptop and we start dancing a bit. At this point, we are pretty wasted. We're knocking things off of her table and stumbling against the wall. I knew this was the moment. Losing the V card.

I take one more sip out of my cup and then I said fuck it. I grabbed her wrist and pinned her against the wall. Makeout. Clothes off. Bed. She gives me a bit of a handy. More making out. Starts rubbing her pussy all over my dick. This goes on for oh 10 minutes.

10 minutes later I was thinking to myself "wtf. Shit's not getting hard." She jumps on top and says "what do you want?" This being my first time, I had no idea so I said something stupid like "you." She rubs the vag a little more on me and not shit is happening down there. Finally I say "babe, I think I drank too much."

So long story short, first time I was about to have sex after years and YEARS of waiting, I whiskey dicked myself.

Whiskey can be a jealous bitch when she wants to be.

 

[WinterSoldier]

So earlier this week the online dating thread got me back into POF. I just had my first date from there, and it went pretty bad. Anyone else have some bad stories to share as well?

I'll tell mine, but its pretty long and a shortened version wouldnt do it justice, you can skip reading it and just tell yours if you like,

It was a cute girl who messaged me, at least 8/10, so after some messaging and texting, we made plans for today. When I first pulled up to her house, there was a car with a pissed off looking dude parked in front, at this point my instincts told me to run and I should've listened. However, I called her and she told me it was her brother and to park around the corner and shed come to my car. I did, and when she came to my car she was at least 30-40 lbs heavier than her picture (she later mentioned that her pictures were over a year old). Once again, I wanted to stomp the gas and leave, but I didnt want to hurt her feelings so I let her in.

I originally planned to go to a nice restaurant, but by then I just wanted to cut my losses get through the date. So I scaled back and took her to Red Robin. The entire time, she was texting. She would talk to me, then just stop and text, ignoring anything going on, like she hit the pause button on life, then suddenly hit play and act like no time has passed. It took her less than 10 minutes to start telling me about her ex drama. I completely phased out and was just watching NBA on the tv behind her head, she didnt notice at all. THEN, she got creepy. She just started going on about how handsome I am (bitch is blind, im ugly as shit) and how lucky she is to eat with me. She got really quiet and pensive for a minute then SHE LITERALLY ASKED ME TO BE HER BOYFRIEND AND ASKED MY WEEKLY SCHEDULE SO SHE CAN PLAN ALL OF OUR DATES. I laughed it off, asked for the check, then thought better of it and just handed the server enough money to easily cover the bill+tip.

The whole car ride back to her house, she kept trying to make out with me and also demonstrate how good of a singer she is by singing full volume along with the radio. Once we got to her house, HER FUCKING EX WAS STILL SITTING OUT FRONT. So i parked around the corner (still thinking it was her brother) and thats when she told me who it was. I then told her "it was nice meeting you, so...", before she cut me off and asked if I wanted to sneak past her ex and come in. I declined and left as fast as I could.


Im still trying to process what the fuck just happened. I didnt know I signed up for this.

I wonder how you ended up and did big momma ever stalk you after that?

 

[WalkenWouldOwn]

How's about a second date horror story?

I was a very late bloomer. Was a fat, shy person for most of my life until I started working out and forcing myself to socialize more. I met my first girlfriend at bar when I was 25. She was exactly what I had been dreaming of for my whole life. Super cute. Athletic. Great cook. Worked out like crazy. She had a great job. Smart. Good taste in music. Blah blah.

First date went well. Classic dinner and a movie with a kiss at the end. I remember cuddling on the couch with her thinking "man, if this goes any farther, I have no idea what to do." but of course we kept it innocent.

Second date we were supposed to meet some of her friends at the bar. We start pre-gaming at her place listening to some tunes. 1 drink turned into about 7 or 8 and before we knew it, it was midnight.

I was drunk, she was drunk and we weren't going anywhere. She grabbed the bottle and her laptop and said "wanna see my room?" I was like "fuck yes!" in my mind but played it cool. We go in there, short tour. She presses play on her laptop and we start dancing a bit. At this point, we are pretty wasted. We're knocking things off of her table and stumbling against the wall. I knew this was the moment. Losing the V card.

I take one more sip out of my cup and then I said fuck it. I grabbed her wrist and pinned her against the wall. Makeout. Clothes off. Bed. She gives me a bit of a handy. More making out. Starts rubbing her pussy all over my dick. This goes on for oh 10 minutes.

10 minutes later I was thinking to myself "wtf. Shit's not getting hard." She jumps on top and says "what do you want?" This being my first time, I had no idea so I said something stupid like "you." She rubs the vag a little more on me and not shit is happening down there. Finally I say "babe, I think I drank too much."

So long story short, first time I was about to have sex after years and YEARS of waiting, I whiskey dicked myself.

Alcohol + nerves = embarrassing combination! I know that feel bro.

 

[Scerpi]

A short, but bloody one.

A little background. I wrestled in High School and busted my nose a couple times, so it bleeds easily. Also, during winter in Colorado, with the 0% humidity, it makes the situation worse.

So anyway, I got set up on a blind date with a fairly good looking girl. We're eating at a restaurant and then randomly, my nose starts bleeding profusely. I grab some napkins to tide the flow, but it's just coming. WTF? She's like "You ok?"

I excuse myself and rush to the bathroom and I'm bleeding all over the place, leaving a trail of blood everywhere. I'm trying clean up the sink with one hand, while holding my head back and holding my nose with the other. Random guys coming in give me concerned looks, but I just nod at them.

After about 20 minutes, I think I've got it under control. So I head back to the table. I'm certain I didn't get it all cleaned up and I'm thinking there's probably spots on my collar or face or whatever...

Then my nose explodes again. It was like the blood clot was a dam that had just given out and I'm bleeding more than ever.... So, back to the bathroom again for another 20 minutes.

I finish our evening, constantly aware I could hemorrhage all over again. Needless to say, that was our only encounter. It was awkward

 

[tapout86]

This one time I went on a first date out in the woods, we went to this cabin. It was me and a bunch of friends of mine. Then one of the girls got possessed by a demon and we had to lock her in the basement. Then one of the other girls was bitten on the hand by the possessed one and then cut her arm off with a kitchen knife.

Oh wait, that was a movie.

Yeah, my bad.

 

[Poohbearsbong**]

A friend of mine told me this story which will fit in well i guess.

He's dating this girl, they've been on a few dates already but this one goes especialy well, they're both totally hammered from drinking in the bar / club and so decide to go back to her house.

She lives with her parents but she says it's cool as long as they're quiet, so the go to the bedroom everything goes well and they pass out.

now here's where things get good.

At some point in the night he wakes up still completely hammered needing a shit, so he goes to the bathroom and unleashes something so foul that the smell of it makes him need to throw up.

Not thinking he can make it to the sink he does a 180 and throws up in the toilet already full of his own diarrhea, and then passes out.

He was found in the morning by his girlfriend mum with his head in a toilet bowl full of shit and vomit, and his unwiped arse sticking up in the air.

he stayed with her though....