First date horror stories

white-pony said:
Not sure why you didn't think of an excuse to go with the got girls to get booze.
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I think they left him behind to hook him up with one of these 250+ girls, you know, so he can have some alone time with her
 
mr.bigglesworth said:
Gotta hand it to the womenz, they know how to play the game and they play it well. They literally have our balls in a vice at times
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I've never really been into CBT myself. Can't seem to understand the appeal.

Maybe this guy can introduce you to his ex
neverwas said:
Ok,if anybody laughs,I will sulk.many years ago I was working in a hospital,a new nurse starts and I like her.she dresses a bit different and dyes her hair,but I'm cool with that.so after a few weeks of talking we're getting on well.so we arrange a date,she lived on her own in a house.so we go out have a few drinks,and have a good time. I'll admit I had a fair bit to drink,which as we all know makes us think we're the bomb.so we go back to her place,have a few more drinks and start getting friendly. After a bit of this she says let's go to the bedroom an I'm like cool. By the time we get to her room I'm nearly naked,we go in to her room and there's this thing above the bed.like I said I've had a fair bit to drink and am feeling brave and cocky,so I ask,what the hell is that,she looks at it and with out missing a beat says a restraining device. So not wanting to appears pussy I don't run for it like I should have.shes like,your not put off by this are you,and good old beer bravery says for me,nah it's cool. She's like do you mind if we try a few different things out,I agreed.stupidly,how was I supposed to know she was heavily into the fetish scene,and a Domm.so yes I did end up stuck in the device and a few other things happened that I can't say here.we saw each each other for a year and a half and she took me to some very interesting clubs that I didn't know existed.
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Pars said:
A few years ago a friend of mine went home with this girl that he met at a club. He woke up in the middle of the night, felt that something was off and soon found out that he had shit himself in his sleep. Now panicking, he took her underwear while she was sleeping and smeared the shit on it and bits and pieces (im lmao right now thinking about this) on her buttcheek and surrounding area trying to put the blame on her and then quietly sneaked out.

I almost died when he told me lol, it made me laugh so hard my heart literally hurt. But I wasn't sure if he was making it up or not.
A week later we are out for a few beers and the same girl walks in with a friend of hers..I will never forget his face when he realised who just came in lol! They had instant eye contact, it was glorious. She came over pissed as hell and started making a scene yelling "you fucking psycho, why did you do that?! You disgusting pos" and my favorite "you smeared shit on my ass!" which made me burst out laughing so fucking hard for some reason. We called him shitbreak for like 6 months after that, and I still got him saved as shitbreak on my phone.

Fin
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I can't remember the last time I laughed harder than I did after reading this. How did the girl know your friend was the pooper and not herself?
 
Not sure I can compete with some of those stories, but here are a few awkward hook-up stories.

The first one happened when I was in Okinawa. I had gone out with this girl a few times, and we decided to go to this bar. Mind you, this is Japan, so the bars are way smaller than most in the states. The front door goes into this small hallway; the main bar is to the left and the only bathroom is dead ahead.

Anyways, she suggests we go to the bathroom to get some privacy, and I obviously oblige. There is no line for the bathroom at this point. We're in there for a few minutes and someone starts knocking on the door, but the music is so loud we can't hear anything else.

We're in there for probably 15-20 minutes, and when she opens the door she sees a line of about 10 people waiting to use the bathroom. She gets super embarrassed, grabs my arm and pulls me towards the door so everyone can see me, and everyone just starts laughing. She gets more embarrassed and heads straight out the front door. I know basically everyone in the line and decide to stay and drink more. We didn't go out again.


This other time I was at this party and met this girl who has a pregnant friend with her (don't worry, I'm not going there). Anyways, we hit it off and find a room upstairs and utilize an empty bed. This room is a bit odd, though, as it has two twin beds. Kind of threw me off at first, because I thought someone owned this house, but I think it was rented out by a bunch of college dudes.

Anyways, we hook up and are about to fall asleep when she starts texting on her phone. She asks if it will be a problem if her friend sleeps in the room. I say not at all, thinking this might lead to something (forgetting her friend is pregnant). So she gets completely dressed and I put my boxers back on and pull the covers over myself. She unlocks the door, lets her friend in, and I remember it's the pregnant one. The pregnant one lays down in the empty bed, the girl I was with lays back down in my bed. I would have left, but I was too drunk to drive so I just go to sleep.

Next thing I know, it's like 5 AM and I wake up this chick is just grinding her (incredibly nice) ass into my crotch, and naturally I get aroused. I look over to see the pregnant girl asleep on the other bed, and I go to say something to the girl in my bed, but by that time her pants are already off, and we go at it again with her friend asleep in full view and only 5 feet from us. Went out with that girl a few more times.
 
I'll contribute to this awesome thread



Three years ago I soaked up enough courage to ask the girl who at the time I was talking for about two years. We agreed to meet each other at a library in the middle of town. I remember blasting a red light and almost crashing with a car that didn't made the stop sign. I get there, like a loser clinging to my phone awaiting a call or a text, and as soon as I made eye contact with her, my jaw began to tremble, my knees started shaking and I made the stupidest face I could make. We both just chatted and walked around the library just for walking. I asked if she wanted to get something to snack on, but she denied each time. I recall trying my hardest to make her laugh and succeeding. All throughout I kept feeling awkward and insecure. I don't think I allowed her to open up about anything. My biggest mistake was never interacting with her. The worst part was that I realized this months later. That was the last time I ever hanged out with her. I've never been on a date ever since.
 
I had set up an internet date with this Spanish girl to meet for lunch at a french restaurant near the university.

I arrive on time and end up waiting about 15 mins for her to arrive. When she finally gets there I am pretty irritated and am thinking about cancelling. She gets out of her car and the girl is smoking hot. She is 5'5', thin, with long black hair that came to the middle of her back.

She marches up to me and offers her hand for me to shake. This usually turns me off but I thought what the hell and we went inside.

Lunch is going well until the waiter briskly walks past our table and I am blasted with an intense aroma of B.O. I am really surprised that this waiter has such bad hygiene. The restaurant was by no means a dive.

The lunch passes and every time the waiter walks past I am again blasted by this BO. It so overwhelmingly bad that it is starting to ruin the date. I am thinking of how I should deal with this....Do i talk to the manager? Do I just leave?

I am thinking about this when she lifts her arm to brush back her hair when this BO just about overtakes me. The BO is coming from this girl! As she lifts her arm I see an INSANE amount of underarm hair pointed directly at me. The whole dinner I had not even paid attention to the hair as at a glance it looked like the bottoms of her hair was just showing from behind her arms.

NOPE!

The girl looked like she had one of those troll dolls in a headlock.

As we are leaving she moved in to hug me goodbye. I ended up giving her an awkward hi-five to squeezed hand and never saw her again.
 
Ti Gourmet said:
I had set up an internet date with this Spanish girl to meet for lunch at a french restaurant near the university.

I arrive on time and end up waiting about 15 mins for her to arrive. When she finally gets there I am pretty irritated and am thinking about cancelling. She gets out of her car and the girl is smoking hot. She is 5'5', thin, with long black hair that came to the middle of her back.

She marches up to me and offers her hand for me to shake. This usually turns me off but I thought what the hell and we went inside.

Lunch is going well until the waiter briskly walks past our table and I am blasted with an intense aroma of B.O. I am really surprised that this waiter has such bad hygiene. The restaurant was by no means a dive.

The lunch passes and every time the waiter walks past I am again blasted by this BO. It so overwhelmingly bad that it is starting to ruin the date. I am thinking of how I should deal with this....Do i talk to the manager? Do I just leave?

I am thinking about this when she lifts her arm to brush back her hair when this BO just about overtakes me. The BO is coming from this girl! As she lifts her arm I see an INSANE amount of underarm hair pointed directly at me. The whole dinner I had not even paid attention to the hair as at a glance it looked like the bottoms of her hair was just showing from behind her arms.

NOPE!

The girl looked like she had one of those troll dolls in a headlock.

As we are leaving she moved in to hug me goodbye. I ended up giving her an awkward hi-five to squeezed hand and never saw her again.
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I don't know, this one might of been worth buying a razor for. Biggest worry I'd have is how a woman could produce such intense manly body odor. Assuming it wasn't a tranny you might of just thrown away an easily fixable fun time.
 
lowsingle said:
the mlp party plan is going as bad as possible but hopefully things change

I'm sitting on a couch of 250+ girls watching this bullshit while the hot ones went out to get liquor

fucking things from the real world can go just as bad as these online dating stories

i better get a 3way out if this, because for the past 30 min, I've been watching my little pony with this girl translating the show

rc3qdz.jpg
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I expect such amazing things out of this poster after he returns tomorrow, even if the threeway didn't play out.
 
First date to Foursome

I had randomly run into this girl that I had dated a few years back. Nothing had happened between us then (mostly this was due to my lack of confidence as a younger guy). A few years had passed and after a random meeting we reconnected over lunch. I ll call her Mindy.

Later that night I was supposed to head to a going away party for a friend of a friend. I invited Mindy as the party was supposed to be pretty low key and fun. We picked up a bottle of Jaeger and headed to this guys apt.

The party is mostly a group of guys and the guest of honors girlfriend. The only other girl at the party is the one that I had brought. Everyone is cool and having a good time so we begin taking shots together.

This guys gf goes from normal to hyperslut in record time. Almost immediately she is talking about how beautiful Mindy is and how she wants to kiss her, touch her, look at her tits etc.

With each drink this escalates incredibly fast and the next thing I know the girls are raising up their shirts to compare nipples or something similar. The hypersluts bf suggest we go into the bedroom (which is all of 5 feet away in this 2 bedroom apt).

The 4 of us head in and the second that the door is closed the hyperslut grabs the other girls pants, deftly pulls them off wrestles the girl to the ground (onto a futon unrolled) and begins eating her out.

The guy and I are just stunned watching her.

This was the first time that I had ever been in a situation like this and honestly I had no idea what to do so I decided to just do nothing, I was enjoying the show so why fuck it up?

The next thing I know this sex vampire sits up and turns to me. She pulls me down while taking off my pants (I had been standing there a bit like an idiot). I give the other guy (who I just met today) a look of "is this cool?" and before I get my answer the girl is giving me the most amazing blow job I have ever had....ever (I still think about this girl).

For the next hour or so the hyperslut ends up bouncing between mindy and I while her bf just sits in the corner by himself. I felt bad for the guy after the fact but in the moment I didn't care.

After that night no one ever ended up seeing one another again. The hyperslut and bf ended up breaking up that night. Mindy was too horrified to ever talk to me again.

It was awesome.
 
^How is that a foursome if the guy just stood there watching?
 
IIIIIIII said:
i honestly think that online dating is a waste of time and money.

even if you end up meeting a great girl, she will probably continue to have an online profile, and some other dude will begin to contact her, and she'll try him out to see if he's better. in time, she'll find someone else to replace you.

i think it's better to find women, "in the real world", where you meet them and all your questions about what they look like, how they are as people, etc. are answered, so you don't waste your time hoping that someone ends up being the way you'd like.
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couldnt agree more mate
 
Bukowski82 said:
So this isn't really a first 'date...' but it's a horror story nonetheless.

Back in October, I broke up with my girlfriend and went on a little bit of a bender for the weekend. Hooked up with some girls that I wish I could forget about... So I'm happy when I catch this really pretty girl looking at me while i'm having lunch at this pizza place downtown. I'm just about to go talk to her, when she comes up to me and does the whole it's really crowded over at the other end of the bar, do you mind if I sit here. I tell her absolutely. We get to talking and her personality is just as great as she looks and i'm really having a good time. I find out she's a paralegal, she went to college at my school, ect. So then she suggests we grab some more drinks at a place nearby. I'm definitely down so we head over... After a few hours of hanging out we're both pretty drunk and she goes Look I don't mean to be forward and I don't usually do this, but would you like to come hang out at my place for a bit... So I have this very pretty, funny, normal, educated girl asking me back to have sex... Great right?

Well, that's when shit got real...

She told me she lived right near by but we end up walking for like 15 minutes to this ridiculously dumpy apartment in a shadier part of Downtown. So we walk in and she takes me down the side stairs into this basement that looked like something out of a Steven King Novel. We walk up to her door, she opens it... and hollllly shit.

I've watched a ton of horror movies in my life... but this place had to be the creepiest thing I've ever seen. I walk in and there's like white doll masks mounted on the wall (there was even a horse mask,) it was bainted black with purple velvet drapes everywhere, the windows were all spraypained black, there were black candles everywhere, and just tons of other creepy shit everywhere. I was stunned. At first I kind of laughed and was like "Uhhh, are you in the theatre or something?" She just smiled and gave me a non-chalant, "No..." No explanation, nothing... So I'm freaking out a little and I ask her if I could use her bathroom. She points down the hall and in this cheerful voice says it's to your right at the end of the hall.

I start walking down the hall and couldn't believe what I was seeing. The ceiling kept getting smaller as I went down the hall and each room was just filled with dolls and strange costumes and masks... I passed her bed room which was just this little closet type room with a bed taking up the whole space and a lightbulb. I mean, this place was like something out of a straight up Horror Movie.

I come back out in disbelief and asked her if she had a roomate or something that was in the theatre and got the same response... "Nope." With this creepy smile. I kept thinking, Ok anytime now someone's gonna pop outta the closet with a knife and a mask and just kill the shit out of me...

End up sexing her anyways and even that was so creepy I just couldn't keep my dick up. I didn't even finish. I just kinda stopped when she asked me to go down on her... And was like, Well, I'll see ya later. The scariest part about all of it was the fact that she was so cute and normal... and then boom, 180.

I still get the chills thinking about it. Who the fuck has a horse mask mounted on their wall?!
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serious bro whats wrong with all that stuff sounds hot, shes was probably super kinky
 
Bukowski82 said:
Perhaps I didn't do a good job explaining it... This place made Buffalo Bill's basement look like a god-damn 5 star hotel... It was by far the creepiest place i'd ever seen. IRL, on movies... anywhere.

And to make matters worse, she got really weird and refused to acknowledge how creepy the situation was when I kept indirectly asking her wtf was going on...

It reminded me of the movie Tomcats where the guy picks up that mousey librarian and goes back to her place only to find out she was this dominatrix. Except it was way creepier.
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shouldve just ask her straight out whats up with her place, if you were that creeped out what difference wouldve made you didnt wanna bang her anymore anyways
 
Gorgo said:
Decided to ask my friend's wife's sister out on a date back in the early 90's. We had Mexican food and I ordered the bean plate special since I was kinda strapped for cash at the time.

Got back to my friends house where she rented a room and low and behold her parents and older brother were there visiting. I sit on the big leather couch next to her and suddenly my stomach starts to rumbles and groan. There is no stopping the gas that is forming in my bowels so I try to cover the noise by scooting my ass on the couch...It kinda covers the noise but unfortunately the smell can't be concealed.

I excuse myself to the bathroom which is a total of about five feet away from where they are all sitting. I turn on the water faucet to full power hoping the running water just might cover up what I know is coming. I sit on the pot and carefully try to pass the conglomeration that has formed in my guts but it's of no use.... I blast out the loudest most obnoxious cacophony of rectal contents you could imagine.

From outside I hear her father say, "What the hell?" and her brother laughing while the mother said, "Shhhh you will hurt his feelings."

Knowing the gig was up I just plowed on through the rest of my dump knowing that any dignity I might have had was gone. The exiting of the bathroom was the biggest walk of shame I have ever taken and once I had returned to my seat the stench decided to follow me out like an old loyal dog.

It was our first and last date.
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i laughed so hard i dribbled a little bit
had something simliar happen to me, met my ex at the gym and after a workout we go back to hers and we put on a movie and we just start making out and then her parents come home and her mom comes downstairs meets me for the first time but having my gf sitting on lap and the protien shake in my stomach working its magic i feel nothing but gas like cant hold it any more gas when her dad tells me i better move my car before the dick across the street complains thank god i sprint to my car and just let it rip like no tomorrow one of the best feelings of my life
 
mission accomplished

at great costs. fuck i just sat through like 3 hours of my little pony and the whole pixar movie, rio. i just sat in the back drinking. they acted like giving 9 year olds. they spent of the time giggling and breathing in helium to make funny voices. i wanted to shoot myself in the face. sometime during this, they started taking facebook pictures, but i avoided them out of fear of future embarrassment. to cheer me up, one girl told me she draws her friends as ponies and could draw me. i sarcastically said (in the voice of mac from always sunny), "yeah but to represent my muscular godlike physique, you'd have to draw me as a badass dragon"... THEN SHE FUCKING DID. SHE GOT A SKETCHPAD AND SPENT LIKE 30 MINUTES ON IT (will post tomorrow).

finally the fat weird girls left so it was just me and the hot ones. they told me to sleep on the couch,while they shared the bed. after like 10 minutes, the 8 came out and climbed on me. we made out and she went back in the room. at this point i was like "wtf that's it?" and started walking past the bedroom to leave

as i was walking past, i decided fuck it. so i just went and climbed in the middle, expecting to be kicked out. the 8 started pulling my shirt off, and well it started escalating while the 7 laid next to us, rubbing my back. i started making out with her and groping her but she didnt let me get it in. so i fucked the 8 while the 7 kissed me and i groped her

now I'm back on the couch (i could imagine it turning really awkward in there, very quickly), trying to decide if I'm sober enough to drive home
 
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