First date horror stories

Just one of many dating horror stories I have. Met a chick at school, asked her out, banged on the first date, figured Id keep her around since she put out. A few weeks go by and im in the cafeteria eating with her. She leaves to go to class. A classmate sits down by me and asks if I know that chick. I said yes. He goes on to tell me he went to HS with her and she was known for giving the boys the herps. I remember her twice/year during breakout season.
 
I've got a few, but they tend to be all in retrospect. Didn't catch on to the warning signs that I was going out with a crazy chick. I seem to attract them for some reason
 
alright, another.

Was at a doctor's office getting my knee checked out and he girl at the front desk keeps coming back to he exam room to talk to me. Blonde, blue eyes, gorgeous face but a little chunky. Finally she asks if I had a girlfriend, said no and she gave me her number.

I get home and no sooner I'm getting a call from the doctor's office, it was her wanting to know if I wanted to go out with her the coming Saturday. Warning bells were going off but I said what the hell. She asked if she could come to my place and drive, I said fine.

Saturday night comes and she comes and picks me up. She tells me she wanted to drive because of the stereo in her car and I'd find out why soon. We leave to go eat and all a sudden she starts playing the song from Titanic the Celine Dion one but it's an instrumental. This girl starts belting out the song at the top of her lungs staring at me the whole time. All I can think is "keep your eyes on the road bitch" and she is doing the hand motions and all. After she tells me how she's a pre-med student and also a classically trained opera singer. So we have dinner and right in the middle she tells me she just got divorced and she's only 22 years old; I was about 27 at the time. So after she asks if I mind if she stops someplace, I say OK.

She takes me over to her ex-husband's place. I'm sitting in the room and the two of them are in the bedroom and I hear the following "he's my new boyfriend" "yeah, well at least he doesn't fuck me in the ass like some pervert" "oh, and he loves the way I suck his dick" I can't make out what the guy is saying the whole time. Finally, she comes out and says "let's go honey".

Then we stop by her mother's place and she introduces me to her mother and grandmother. She starts telling them both how we are both in love. The mother goes to another room and comes back with a bottle of wine and a framed picture of her daughter and gives them to me. Then we leave and on the way out she is gushing about how much her mom and grandmother liked me.

Driving back to my place she asks me "when do you think you'll know if you want to marry me or not?". For the better part of the night I'm not saying a word, shit was just too wierd for me. I just say "Um, I have no idea"

We get back to my place and I'm just trying to get out of the car and make a rund for it when she starts making a scene about me inviting her in and that she put her heart out there for me, finally I relented and let her in. One thing led to another and we slept together. She was right about one thing, I did like the way she sucked dick, girl had no gag reflex whatsoever and she would hum while deepthroating; if you've never experienced I highly recommend it.

Anyway, she calls me a couple days later and tells me I'm "too emotionally detached for her" and tells me she hopes we can remain friends. That was the last I ever spoke to her.
 
SMillard said:
alright, another.

Was at a doctor's office getting my knee checked out and he girl at the front desk keeps coming back to he exam room to talk to me. Blonde, blue eyes, gorgeous face but a little chunky. Finally she asks if I had a girlfriend, said no and she gave me her number.

I get home and no sooner I'm getting a call from the doctor's office, it was her wanting to know if I wanted to go out with her the coming Saturday. Warning bells were going off but I said what the hell. She asked if she could come to my place and drive, I said fine.

Saturday night comes and she comes and picks me up. She tells me she wanted to drive because of the stereo in her car and I'd find out why soon. We leave to go eat and all a sudden she starts playing the song from Titanic the Celine Dion one but it's an instrumental. This girl starts belting out the song at the top of her lungs staring at me the whole time. All I can think is "keep your eyes on the road bitch" and she is doing the hand motions and all. After she tells me how she's a pre-med student and also a classically trained opera singer. So we have dinner and right in the middle she tells me she just got divorced and she's only 22 years old; I was about 27 at the time. So after she asks if I mind if she stops someplace, I say OK.

She takes me over to her ex-husband's place. I'm sitting in the room and the two of them are in the bedroom and I hear the following "he's my new boyfriend" "yeah, well at least he doesn't fuck me in the ass like some pervert" "oh, and he loves the way I suck his dick" I can't make out what the guy is saying the whole time. Finally, she comes out and says "let's go honey".

Then we stop by her mother's place and she introduces me to her mother and grandmother. She starts telling them both how we are both in love. The mother goes to another room and comes back with a bottle of wine and a framed picture of her daughter and gives them to me. Then we leave and on the way out she is gushing about how much her mom and grandmother liked me.

Driving back to my place she asks me "when do you think you'll know if you want to marry me or not?". For the better part of the night I'm not saying a word, shit was just too wierd for me. I just say "Um, I have no idea"

We get back to my place and I'm just trying to get out of the car and make a rund for it when she starts making a scene about me inviting her in and that she put her heart out there for me, finally I relented and let her in. One thing led to another and we slept together. She was right about one thing, I did like the way she sucked dick, girl had no gag reflex whatsoever and she would hum while deepthroating; if you've never experienced I highly recommend it.

Anyway, she calls me a couple days later and tells me I'm "too emotionally detached for her" and tells me she hopes we can remain friends. That was the last I ever spoke to her.
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I am willing to believe almost anything, but you are testing me on this one. Unless you live in the hills or something, but you said there was a doctor's office. So you were close to civilization.
 
PabloZed said:
I am willing to believe almost anything, but you are testing me on this one. Unless you live in the hills or something, but you said there was a doctor's office. So you were close to civilization.
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his location says Florida so i'm going to believe him on this one.
 
MrBoombastic said:
Thiiis. I got hit on once while getting HIV tested, by the chick taking the blood. Central FL. It was fucking strange.
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Haha! Daytona, Orlando, Tampa?

People in Florida are strange in general.

Holllly shit! This reminds me of a date I had in Jacksonville Florida. I think the PTSD I received put this one in the back of my mind.

Talked to a girl on POF and I picked her up at her house. She was pretty chubby, but had one of the prettiest faces I had ever seen.

We started driving to a dive bar, I was new in town(like 2 weeks). She told me a story about how some guy tried to beat her up that she met on POF because she wouldn't sleep with him. This should have been a warning sign..... but of course I pushed on. At the bar she seemed normal enough. Got to talking about generic stuff. She was wearing a cute skirt, really nice, big boobies.

Some how we got onto the topic of strip clubs because there are a ton of them around Mayport naval base there. I had never been to one so I started telling her about it. She insisted that we go to one. I thought it was weird for a first date, but she kept insisting upon it.

So there I went, to the strip club with some chick I had just met. When we walked in, she knew like 2 of the bouncers. At this point it in my mind I was like "red flag number 17". She starts getting wasted(on my dime by the way). Took $200 out of the ATM, figured I'd at least have some fun at the club because I didn't plan on ever going to a titty bar again. This chick started letting the strippers suck on her boobs and stuff...... in front of all the other guys in the club..... did I mention this was a first date?

Anywho. We started talking to this couple that were there. The chick was super cute, looked like a short little pocahontas. The guy was a total tool, but she was all over the girl I was with. When her man went to the bathroom she started making out with the girl I was with. The girl I was with starts inviting everyone back to her house, including like 5 other guys. So now I'm sitting at her house with her and the pocahontas girl her plastered boyfriend and 5 random sketchy dudes from the club. The plastered boyfriend starts getting a little bit too hands on with me, and accusing the girl I'm with of trying to get a train run on her. That was the most honest and true thing I heard all night, but I didn't know why he wanted to fight me. I go into the back and the Pocahontas girl is walking to the bathroom. She sees me, leaves the door open, flashes her vag at me, squats down and starts taking a piss, the whole time staring me down. Very unusual.

Eventually all of the guys there start to realize that I'm not fucking around anymore and I kick them all out sans the plastered redneck boyfriend, my "date", and his pocahontas girlfriend. The guy insists on driving home, but he cant walk. I tell his girl to stay, because at the least I was definitely going to bang her. Well she goes with him. 30 minutes later, she texts me that he got a DUI, and shes on her way to the drunk tank. The date I was with lets me sleep in her bed, but I definitely didn't want to sleep with this whore. She tried sucking me off in the middle of the night and I just got up and went to the bathroom and never came back.

Oddest, weirdest date I've ever had. Probably spent $300-400 on an interns salary, Almost got into a fight numerous times, went to a strip club for the first time, had a date expose her self and have her boobs sucked on by a haggard stripper, had some girl pee in front of me for no reason, had a jekyl/hide date, almost had a threesome, think I prevented a train/rape, and the crazy texts and calls I got from both of those chicks in the subsequent days were nutso. What a fucked up time in my life. Glad I snapped back to reality after having a 5-7 month bender.
 
Omegaboy13 said:
Haha! Daytona, Orlando, Tampa?

People in Florida are strange in general.

[story]
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Outside Orlando, coastal. But yeah, FL is fucked. I think it's because of the horrid education system and the fact that like 50% of the people there weren't born there, so no actual culture developed. It's just a clusterfuck.
 
MrBoombastic said:
Outside Orlando, coastal. But yeah, FL is fucked. I think it's because of the horrid education system and the fact that like 50% of the people there weren't born there, so no actual culture developed. It's just a clusterfuck.
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Yeah its crazy. Last time I looked I think only 35% of the people in florida were actually natives. Sometimes I'll drive around and run into a town and I'm like,"huh, this looks a lot like Long Island(or another area)". Crazy. Miami is the weirdest place I have ever been to.

Sometimes I think we kind of have our own thing going on and its pretty cool, but then I get to an area like Miami and all I can think is, what the fuck?
 
Omegaboy13 said:
Yeah its crazy. Last time I looked I think only 35% of the people in florida were actually natives. Sometimes I'll drive around and run into a town and I'm like,"huh, this looks a lot like Long Island(or another area)". Crazy. Miami is the weirdest place I have ever been to.

Sometimes I think we kind of have our own thing going on and its pretty cool, but then I get to an area like Miami and all I can think is, what the fuck?
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I've always said: If you aren't getting blow, Miami fucking blows
 
Eisenkarl said:
OMG This is seriously my greatest nightmare.
You know, I would've probably told them I'm going outside to get some fresh air, so I could shit somewhere in the bushes and run away.
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jeff_daniels2.gif
[/URL][/IMG]
 
SMillard said:
alright, another.

Was at a doctor's office getting my knee checked out and he girl at the front desk keeps coming back to he exam room to talk to me. Blonde, blue eyes, gorgeous face but a little chunky. Finally she asks if I had a girlfriend, said no and she gave me her number.

I get home and no sooner I'm getting a call from the doctor's office, it was her wanting to know if I wanted to go out with her the coming Saturday. Warning bells were going off but I said what the hell. She asked if she could come to my place and drive, I said fine.

Saturday night comes and she comes and picks me up. She tells me she wanted to drive because of the stereo in her car and I'd find out why soon. We leave to go eat and all a sudden she starts playing the song from Titanic the Celine Dion one but it's an instrumental. This girl starts belting out the song at the top of her lungs staring at me the whole time. All I can think is "keep your eyes on the road bitch" and she is doing the hand motions and all. After she tells me how she's a pre-med student and also a classically trained opera singer. So we have dinner and right in the middle she tells me she just got divorced and she's only 22 years old; I was about 27 at the time. So after she asks if I mind if she stops someplace, I say OK.

She takes me over to her ex-husband's place. I'm sitting in the room and the two of them are in the bedroom and I hear the following "he's my new boyfriend" "yeah, well at least he doesn't fuck me in the ass like some pervert" "oh, and he loves the way I suck his dick" I can't make out what the guy is saying the whole time. Finally, she comes out and says "let's go honey".

Then we stop by her mother's place and she introduces me to her mother and grandmother. She starts telling them both how we are both in love. The mother goes to another room and comes back with a bottle of wine and a framed picture of her daughter and gives them to me. Then we leave and on the way out she is gushing about how much her mom and grandmother liked me.

Driving back to my place she asks me "when do you think you'll know if you want to marry me or not?". For the better part of the night I'm not saying a word, shit was just too wierd for me. I just say "Um, I have no idea"

We get back to my place and I'm just trying to get out of the car and make a rund for it when she starts making a scene about me inviting her in and that she put her heart out there for me, finally I relented and let her in. One thing led to another and we slept together. She was right about one thing, I did like the way she sucked dick, girl had no gag reflex whatsoever and she would hum while deepthroating; if you've never experienced I highly recommend it.

Anyway, she calls me a couple days later and tells me I'm "too emotionally detached for her" and tells me she hopes we can remain friends. That was the last I ever spoke to her.
Click to expand...

LMFAO Great story, I'm almost in tears.

I was convinced the story would end with the two of getting married though.
 
I'm not sure why anyone is scared of the shitting situation?

I have no problems shitting in anybody's house...whether it be a first date, whether the girl's family is there...it's not a big deal.
 
White Mongoose said:
Oh man!!! I want to cry!!! Why do you have to meet that type and not me?! I'd have eagerly bang her repeatedly and come back for some more!!!
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You're a brave man, my friend. That shit was scary as fuck. I love freaky girls, but that shit was on a whole other level. :eek:
 
September 2009, first date with my now ex-girlfriend. A Econoline van, thinks he can make the left turn, without me hitting him. Wrong! I didn't even have time to brake. Full head on collision at 40 mph. It was pretty bad, the airbag slightly burned my arm and I got a gash on my shin. She somehow broke one of her fingers and she suffered from chest pain for like a month.
 
Omegaboy13 said:
Yeah its crazy. Last time I looked I think only 35% of the people in florida were actually natives. Sometimes I'll drive around and run into a town and I'm like,"huh, this looks a lot like Long Island(or another area)". Crazy. Miami is the weirdest place I have ever been to.

Sometimes I think we kind of have our own thing going on and its pretty cool, but then I get to an area like Miami and all I can think is, what the fuck?
Click to expand...

Omega, didn't you go to Florida for a chick? Or with a chick?
 
Most will consider this a nightmare, though I didn't really.

First night out in a new city. Walked into a bar/restaurant to have dinner and some beers. Walked past a table of babes with one guy. I hear "I love you" followed by giggling. Attempt to act nonchalant and continue to a free table. Get served, have a few beers, talk to a table of guys next to me. Later, a girl from the table comes and asks if she can sit next to me. She is smoking hot. Tells me her friend likes me and I should come sit with them. She points out the friend. 10/10 -- petite Asian girl with great tits etc, dressed really well, beautiful face.

I agree, go sit down, introduce myself to everyone. Order more drinks, felt bad because the charged the guy who was obviously paying for all the girls. So I started talking to the girl that liked me. She didn't appear very interested--she was shy I guess. They invite me to join them at a club nearby to dance etc. Got the girls number and left,just wasn't feeling it. Text back and forth for a few days. She invites me to her place.

We end up in the bedroom pretty quickly. Every time I reach "down there" she pushes my hand away. Keeps saying stuff like: "Do you like me? Do you like my personality?" etc etc.

Realise she won't let me touch her down there because she has a d**k. Have sex with 'her' anyway.

Haters gon' hate.
 
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