Facebook exposed my private account and now my gf is pissed

[lsa]

Lol at thinking your information was private in the first place.

and Facebook of all places.
The company that now begs iPhone users to change their privacy setting so they can snoop and steal your information, and show you the ads you never asked for.

 

[Jack Reacheround]

Yeah...
I dont get it either.
I mean people have made tons of fake FB profiles.
In what world would a social media account be legit to verify your identity.
I am getting old I guess.

I think it’s just that they want your password so they can go through your entire life and make sure you never got too drunk and took pictures of yourself vomiting and shit like that. Ridiculous.

 

[bowened]

I dont think its egregious to say I have no social media and then have 1 account for work purposes and as an information depository that I havent touched in over a decade. It seems like people are assuming this is some kind of infidelity thing comparing me to someone who uses facebook as a dating app and I think that is coloring some of the interpretations.

I didn’t mention or make any reference to your morality.

I’m just pointing out that you seem to be in denial that your girl caught you in legitimate 100% lie. It may not seem egregious to you, but you’re not on the receiving end of it. People (particularly girlfriends and wives) don’t like discovering they’ve been lied to significant other. It’s fair and reasonable to consider that a red flag.

Yes, I understand that you want to turn this into your teaching moment for everybody else about Facebook. Got it. You can’t hide on Facebook. Great lesson. I’m just saying, the other life lesson here seems to have flown directly over your head.

 

[John Mabrey]

So back in high school I went with the fad and made a facebook and added a bunch of friends, and over time I found out having a bunch of information about you being totally public is not always a great idea, and in general I didnt really like facebook, but I didnt want to delete it because there are some old friends that I havent hung out with years but just like the idea that I could contact them if I wanted to. Also when I got hired to my current company they actually required that I have a facebook to confirm my identity. So Im in no position to delete it, so I did the next best thing and turned every single privacy setting to the most private option available. Basically I was invisible to all strangers/anyone I hadnt already added as a friend. One convenient advantage of this was that every time I started dated a clingy possessive girl I could just say sorry I have zero social media because I hate it and I was essentially telling the truth, since I never actually use facebook and have no other social media. Well I tried that with my current gf and she comes at me like "WHY ARE YOU LYING I KNOW YOU HAVE ONE!" and it turns out facebook has been slowly removing privacy settings forcing users to share more info and now my private account simply appears in any search to anyone who types my name. And I know Im not misremembering that you used to be able to have a private account, this news article I found is written by a tech guy and basically the same thing happened to him: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/jun/29/facebook-privacy-secret-profile-exposed

So basically this is really bullshit and I wanted to warn anyone who might think they are safe with the old "I dont have a facebook" line. Im pretty tempted to delete it now.

Just deactivate that bullshit. Also I thought it was weird that your employer required one

 

[John Mabrey]

any job requiring you to have a facebook account 'to verify your identity' is a fucking red flag.

'Sorry I I'm not on Facebook'.
"well we can't employ you then".

This would be acceptable in my books only if you applied for a job at Facebook.

Lol seriously what is that shit

 

[John Mabrey]

Why didn't you just say I haven't used it in years?

Also I'm not sure how common ts's name is. It's possible that someone else had the same name unless he had his profile pic in it

 

[John Mabrey]

I used to say this but that was never enough. I would always get "IF YOU REALLY CARE ABOUT ME JUST LOG ON AND ADD ME!" Its just a bunch of drama I'd rather just shut down, which is why I think Ill just delete it entirely.

You could say I don't remember the password anymore

 

[John Mabrey]

OP kind of reminds me of my older brother. I remember in 2014 he got busted for having a Facebook account he had been keeping secret from his fiancé who he’d been with since 2010.

At the time my folks were in town staying with my wife and I for a long weekend while my brother and his fiancé had gone on a vacation. Well, my brother posted some pics on Facebook of him at the beach where they were, which my wife saw on my Facebook account which she then showed my mom. Well, my mom sends my brother and his fiancé an email saying she saw the pics he put on Facebook and that it looked like they were having a good time.

After midnight I get a phone call from my older brother who’s in a panic asking me what the fuck was going on as his fiancé was questioning him about “what Facebook photos? Since when do you have Facebook?” I told him what happened and he was furious and disgusted that I would let my wife near near my computer or to have access to my Facebook account. My brother is quite misogynistic, and I think was keeping his Facebook secret from his fiancé because I think he was more or less using it as a quasi-dating app since this was before Tinder really blew up. Whenever any of his activity showed up on my Facebook feed it would be him liking photos posted by girls in Japan and Korea, and he would frequently go on trips to Asia without his fiancé (who herself happens to be Korean) I’m pretty sure just to hook up with girls.

Anyway, somehow he weaselled his way out of it I guess, because to this day he still has Facebook and to this day still plays dumb around his now wife (they got married in 2015, had a kid in 2019 with another due in three weeks) about even having Facebook and she’s willfully blind to his shenanigans

I think you need to look up the definition of misogynistic

 

[John Mabrey]

Kinda interesting that there seem to be a fair amount of people who dont really see my perspective and just think Im being immoral. Some of it is probably people trying to get a quip in but I can tell some are serious. All things considered though I think I now understand that social media is just not for some people. Ive been an extremely private person my whole life and I probably should have just stuck to my principles back in high school when I didnt want to make an account but did anyways. I finally did the deed and deleted my account. Kinda unfortunately but I think overall things will be better now.

They're not your real friends anyway. Good riddance

 

[John Mabrey]

Thats for your profile being linked in search engine results. So for example if you set that to private you wont show up when someone googles your name, but you will when someone does a search on facebook.

Never use your full name on there

 

[John Mabrey]

Its sadly becoming a thing for employers to look you up on social media. If they can't find you anywhere they will assume something is up and it hurts your chances at being hired, at tech companies especially. Hell, I don't even work in tech and I had an interview recently where they mentioned they couldn't find me anywhere on social media sites. When I told them I wasn't on any of them at all, they looked at me like I was some alien from deep space.

I only have LinkedIn

 

[Law Talkin’ Guy]

I think you need to look up the definition of misogynistic

My brother yelling at me on the phone at midnight saying “why would you ever let your bitch near your computer?” about my wife I think qualifies.

In any event, you don’t know my brother, I do. He has absolutely no respect for any women at all.

 

[Kim Jong Un]

I didn’t mention or make any reference to your morality.

I’m just pointing out that you seem to be in denial that your girl caught you in legitimate 100% lie. It may not seem egregious to you, but you’re not on the receiving end of it. People (particularly girlfriends and wives) don’t like discovering they’ve been lied to significant other. It’s fair and reasonable to consider that a red flag.

Yes, I understand that you want to turn this into your teaching moment for everybody else about Facebook. Got it. You can’t hide on Facebook. Great lesson. I’m just saying, the other life lesson here seems to have flown directly over your head.

Well if I wasnt clear enough, Im not blameless, I was caught in a lie. Lying is bad. I know this. Not sure what exactly you mean by "you want to turn this into your teaching moment" - its information relevant to anyone on facebook and I figured I wasnt the only one who thinks they have a private profile.

 

[Kim Jong Un]

You could say I don't remember the password anymore

The thing is it creates too much potential for more problems. If you ever get careless and mention you used it to get a job or contact info, double trouble. They could also press you to reset the password, and if you lie about that its another layer you have to remember and cant be careless with. Much easier to just delete facebook.

 

[Billthebutcher]

Facebook was never safe. Anything personal you upload to any site, even the cloud, is uploaded to a service, and in the terms and conditions that everyone scrolls past, that property is now theirs as well.

 

[StopDucking]

Well if I wasnt clear enough, Im not blameless, I was caught in a lie. Lying is bad. I know this. Not sure what exactly you mean by "you want to turn this into your teaching moment" - its information relevant to anyone on facebook and I figured I wasnt the only one who thinks they have a private profile.

Yeah, you weren't being clear enough, especially when you said this: I dont think its egregious to say I have no social media and then have 1 account.

So, since you lying about having an account is not "egregious" but you still admit you're "not blameless", what exactly are you trying to say you should be blamed for?

 

[Snackbar]

I legit lose respect for people when they tell me they are on Facebook. And without fail when someone tells you they have an account they always bookend it with "I just have it to keep in touch with family". It's like they feel like a piece of shit even admitting it so have to sugar coat it.

 

[Zanderlini]

What? There are a million better ways to confirm your identity, like an ID, ssn, birth certificate, etc. What kind of dumb fucks work in HR there?

lol, what the fuck

 

[rj144]

Why anyone still uses social media is beyond me. It's the most harmful and toxic technology in the world today.

You posted that on a forum.

 

[CyberRubberDuck]

So back in high school I went with the fad and made a facebook and added a bunch of friends, and over time I found out having a bunch of information about you being totally public is not always a great idea, and in general I didnt really like facebook, but I didnt want to delete it because there are some old friends that I havent hung out with years but just like the idea that I could contact them if I wanted to. Also when I got hired to my current company they actually required that I have a facebook to confirm my identity. So Im in no position to delete it, so I did the next best thing and turned every single privacy setting to the most private option available. Basically I was invisible to all strangers/anyone I hadnt already added as a friend. One convenient advantage of this was that every time I started dated a clingy possessive girl I could just say sorry I have zero social media because I hate it and I was essentially telling the truth, since I never actually use facebook and have no other social media. Well I tried that with my current gf and she comes at me like "WHY ARE YOU LYING I KNOW YOU HAVE ONE!" and it turns out facebook has been slowly removing privacy settings forcing users to share more info and now my private account simply appears in any search to anyone who types my name. And I know Im not misremembering that you used to be able to have a private account, this news article I found is written by a tech guy and basically the same thing happened to him: https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2016/jun/29/facebook-privacy-secret-profile-exposed

So basically this is really bullshit and I wanted to warn anyone who might think they are safe with the old "I dont have a facebook" line. Im pretty tempted to delete it now.

I'm with you there. I've had the exact same issue as has my girlfriend. And it has caused issues, with people being able to find information out about us that we assumed was just between us and our friends.
Facebook do this shit. And I only keep it as a photo album now.