Social Do you lie or do you tell the truth?

[HeffDoesWant]

Truth doesn't have to be the whole brutal Truth.

Wife asks do you like this dress?

No, it makes you look fat.
I prefer the green one.
I like the bow but the cut doesn't sit well.
I don't think I $400 like it.

Deflect.
Where would you plan on wearing it?

All can be true.

I'm very honest, very diplomatic but also fail to realise when I'm upsetting people when being honest.

 

[Phlog]

 

[pakimahi]

The order 1.avoid lying, 2.tell less truth 3. If no other option/avoid major shitstorm

 

[Joe_Armstrong]

My brother told me I should not chase hot women because he thinks
I'm average looking.
I don't think that is keeping it real but just hurtful, or am I wrong ?

 

[Fugazy]

I wonder what kind of animal that is on the right edge of the cover.

Im gonna say a Snoopy-Cat-Cow-Goat?

 

[Fugazy]

My brother told me I should not chase hot women because he thinks
I'm average looking.
I don't think that is keeping it real but just hurtful, or am I wrong ?

How do you look? Be honest.

 

[fingercuffs]

I wonder what kind of animal that is on the right edge of the cover.

Im gonna say a Snoopy-Cat-Cow-Goat?

Funny that I got a notification that you quoted me then decided against and deleted.

@Fugazy
Have the strength to stand by your convictions no matter how weird they are and if I will dislike them.

 

[Fugazy]

Funny that I got a notification that you quoted me then decided against.

@Fugazy
Have the strength to stand by your convictions no matter how weird they are and if I will dislike them.

Yeah, it was a mistake I had a message you posted to another poster from this thread in my queue for some reason and didn’t realize it when I wrote that post. My bad.

 

[fingercuffs]

Yeah, it was a mistake I had a message you posted to another poster from this thread in my queue for some reason and didn’t realize it when I wrote that post. My bad.

All good.

 

[terrapin]

Do you tell the truth or do you lie?

I tell the truth about everything to a fault.

My parents raised me Christian with good morals (I'm an agnostic now), I try to help people and I always tell them the truth no matter if it hurts their feelings or not. Obviously, I don't take this out of proportion and hurt people but while some people will conceal information to glean benefits from others, I'll tell them the truth in order to help the other person get ahead which usually leads to no direct benefit to me and makes people angry at me for telling them how they can get ahead. Other people would lie or conceal information to these individuals in order to make them feel good/not make them feel bad. When people lie, it angers me, I then point the truth out and then I want to get away.

Do I tell the truth because I've been manipulated to tell the truth by my parents and now it's second nature? Or did my parents want me to have a solid foundation knowing that lies will lead you to trouble in the future? Or is it for personal benefit? Is it because I tell them the truth in order for them to get ahead so that my friendship with them will be more fruitful for both of us? Is this a way for me to feel superiority over others? Am I so far up my own ass because I'm smart/think too much that I find it hard to connect with others? Is it because I come from a collectivist culture and therefore I'm looking to help others before I help myself? All of the above? Is this a healthy outlook or should I be lying more in order to benefit from others? Does lying lead to short term benefit but long term misery?

When people criticize me I take it pretty well and I always question myself and my actions. I'm honest with myself because I feel like you need to be honest with yourself in order to be as successful as possible.

I'm asking these questions because for the most part I'm a lone wolf with hardly any friends because of these traits while I see other people who are more dishonest and manipulative with tons of friends and opportunities. I basically get 0 opportunities because no one wants to benefit someone they don't like. I have a few friends that I can be upfront and honest with and we're cool but in general you could call me a loner who spends his friday and saturdays alone working on my programming to get ahead or watching MMA and chatting on Sherdog. I'm above average in attractiveness, 5'11, above average IQ, athletic but I still feel like I'm different than others and can't connect with the general population.

This might be a question better suited for a psychologist (psychiatrist? lol) but I feel like it would be hard to get answers to these questions because I doubt most people scrutinize themselves or others to this level to begin with. I'd have to search pretty far and wide to get the right type of psychologist that could help me answer the above questions. This is why I turn to Sherdog armchair psychologists. Please let me know what you think, it's highly appreciated. Any and all comments are welcome. Especially for the older folk who have more experience in life.


TLDR:

Do you lie to others? Or tell them the truth? Do you lie to yourself or are you honest with yourself? Why do you do what you do?

honestly ceases to be a virtue when it harms someone else. there are blunt ways to say things that are true that are harmful and very soft time consuming ways to tell someone the truth that wont hurt a person. you can also break things to a person very slowly over time and you can also realize that you don't have to say every true thing when/if its going to hurt a person.

ive met a lot of people with this problem over the years and i think you most likely are kind of angry deep down and use the truth to hurt people and you don't even realize you are doing it. there may be other blind spots you have leading you to make poor choices in this area. maybe you dont even really want people in your life and use this as a way to chase them off. i have personally found this flaw in myself at times...

christian spiritual advisors don't teach people to hurt others with honesty so you have some bad theology also in this area.

 

[Fugazy]

All good.

*fistbump*

 

[badascan]

Truth to a fault. My parents thought it was funny when I was a very young child to get me one on one and ask me what the other got them for Christmas because I would reluctantly tell them...

 

[Rand M Arthur]

Sometimes it's better to go along with a lie, that is the awkward truth.

I know someone who admitted to me that she cheated on her husband once after she had a few too many drinks. He recounting of the story sounds suspiciously close to date rape anyway, but she doesn't view it like that. I think she only told me so that I can be the one to rat her out and she doesn't have to feel guilty anymore. Well that is not my place, I'm not going to be the one to tear a family apart and destroy several childhoods. Either she lives with the guilt of infidelity or she tells him and lives with the guilt destroying his trust.

If he asked me point blank I would say, "I really don't have a clue what you are talking about."

 

[SoSo]

Do you tell the truth or do you lie?

I tell the truth about everything to a fault.

My parents raised me Christian with good morals (I'm an agnostic now), I try to help people and I always tell them the truth no matter if it hurts their feelings or not. Obviously, I don't take this out of proportion and hurt people but while some people will conceal information to glean benefits from others, I'll tell them the truth in order to help the other person get ahead which usually leads to no direct benefit to me and makes people angry at me for telling them how they can get ahead. Other people would lie or conceal information to these individuals in order to make them feel good/not make them feel bad. When people lie, it angers me, I then point the truth out and then I want to get away.

Do I tell the truth because I've been manipulated to tell the truth by my parents and now it's second nature? Or did my parents want me to have a solid foundation knowing that lies will lead you to trouble in the future? Or is it for personal benefit? Is it because I tell them the truth in order for them to get ahead so that my friendship with them will be more fruitful for both of us? Is this a way for me to feel superiority over others? Am I so far up my own ass because I'm smart/think too much that I find it hard to connect with others? Is it because I come from a collectivist culture and therefore I'm looking to help others before I help myself? All of the above? Is this a healthy outlook or should I be lying more in order to benefit from others? Does lying lead to short term benefit but long term misery?

When people criticize me I take it pretty well and I always question myself and my actions. I'm honest with myself because I feel like you need to be honest with yourself in order to be as successful as possible.

I'm asking these questions because for the most part I'm a lone wolf with hardly any friends because of these traits while I see other people who are more dishonest and manipulative with tons of friends and opportunities. I basically get 0 opportunities because no one wants to benefit someone they don't like. I have a few friends that I can be upfront and honest with and we're cool but in general you could call me a loner who spends his friday and saturdays alone working on my programming to get ahead or watching MMA and chatting on Sherdog. I'm above average in attractiveness, 5'11, above average IQ, athletic but I still feel like I'm different than others and can't connect with the general population.

This might be a question better suited for a psychologist (psychiatrist? lol) but I feel like it would be hard to get answers to these questions because I doubt most people scrutinize themselves or others to this level to begin with. I'd have to search pretty far and wide to get the right type of psychologist that could help me answer the above questions. This is why I turn to Sherdog armchair psychologists. Please let me know what you think, it's highly appreciated. Any and all comments are welcome. Especially for the older folk who have more experience in life.


TLDR:

Do you lie to others? Or tell them the truth? Do you lie to yourself or are you honest with yourself? Why do you do what you do?

You might be on the spectrum bro. Go and get tested.

 

[AldoStillGoat]

You might be on the spectrum bro. Go and get tested.

I should why not it's possible

 

[mozfonky]

Do you tell the truth or do you lie?

I tell the truth about everything to a fault.

My parents raised me Christian with good morals (I'm an agnostic now), I try to help people and I always tell them the truth no matter if it hurts their feelings or not. Obviously, I don't take this out of proportion and hurt people but while some people will conceal information to glean benefits from others, I'll tell them the truth in order to help the other person get ahead which usually leads to no direct benefit to me and makes people angry at me for telling them how they can get ahead. Other people would lie or conceal information to these individuals in order to make them feel good/not make them feel bad. When people lie, it angers me, I then point the truth out and then I want to get away.

Do I tell the truth because I've been manipulated to tell the truth by my parents and now it's second nature? Or did my parents want me to have a solid foundation knowing that lies will lead you to trouble in the future? Or is it for personal benefit? Is it because I tell them the truth in order for them to get ahead so that my friendship with them will be more fruitful for both of us? Is this a way for me to feel superiority over others? Am I so far up my own ass because I'm smart/think too much that I find it hard to connect with others? Is it because I come from a collectivist culture and therefore I'm looking to help others before I help myself? All of the above? Is this a healthy outlook or should I be lying more in order to benefit from others? Does lying lead to short term benefit but long term misery?

When people criticize me I take it pretty well and I always question myself and my actions. I'm honest with myself because I feel like you need to be honest with yourself in order to be as successful as possible.

I'm asking these questions because for the most part I'm a lone wolf with hardly any friends because of these traits while I see other people who are more dishonest and manipulative with tons of friends and opportunities. I basically get 0 opportunities because no one wants to benefit someone they don't like. I have a few friends that I can be upfront and honest with and we're cool but in general you could call me a loner who spends his friday and saturdays alone working on my programming to get ahead or watching MMA and chatting on Sherdog. I'm above average in attractiveness, 5'11, above average IQ, athletic but I still feel like I'm different than others and can't connect with the general population.

This might be a question better suited for a psychologist (psychiatrist? lol) but I feel like it would be hard to get answers to these questions because I doubt most people scrutinize themselves or others to this level to begin with. I'd have to search pretty far and wide to get the right type of psychologist that could help me answer the above questions. This is why I turn to Sherdog armchair psychologists. Please let me know what you think, it's highly appreciated. Any and all comments are welcome. Especially for the older folk who have more experience in life.


TLDR:

Do you lie to others? Or tell them the truth? Do you lie to yourself or are you honest with yourself? Why do you do what you do?

there's a classic book called "Games People Play" that goes into a lot of really intricate bullshit that people do in interpersonal relationships, it's everywhere but I know that I don't like playing those games. So, I know how you feel, you don't play the games you will lose. I can accept that and I try to be honest to a fault. I have to say though, I'm not as honest as I used to be. Life has taught me that sometimes you're a fool if you don't lie.

At any rate, the book I mentioned is fascinating and one of the more interesting things was it said that schizoids do not play games very well, I would say I'm schizoid and I found that pretty noteworthy. I have come too far this way to stop now, I feel like I have to be faithful to what I am now.

 

[mozfonky]

You are not lying bro.

Im the type of dude who might pull a bitch anywhere. And a lot of guys don’t like that. I’m not rich, but I’m doing OK, and I can only really mess with a few friends I’ve had since my teens because of that.

I would literally never pull someone else’s chick, but when I meet new dudes, friends of friends type situation, they tend to get salty because bitches I don’t know tend to like me.

Im sorry women like how I look and I walk like I know how to fold up a woman. I don’t know anything else.

Edit:! And I’m almost never even thinking of women when I go out. It’s just not like that for me. I don’t even want to bother and other things are taking up space in my mind.

ok post a pic mr. man. We'll rank you down.

 

[Joe_Armstrong]

How do you look? Be honest.

Average

 

[Iroh]

honestly ceases to be a virtue when it harms someone else. there are blunt ways to say things that are true that are harmful and very soft time consuming ways to tell someone the truth that wont hurt a person. you can also break things to a person very slowly over time and you can also realize that you don't have to say every true thing when/if its going to hurt a person.

ive met a lot of people with this problem over the years and i think you most likely are kind of angry deep down and use the truth to hurt people and you don't even realize you are doing it. there may be other blind spots you have leading you to make poor choices in this area. maybe you dont even really want people in your life and use this as a way to chase them off. i have personally found this flaw in myself at times...

christian spiritual advisors don't teach people to hurt others with honesty so you have some bad theology also in this area.

Exactly. Being truthful doesn't mean you can't be tactful or selective with what you decide to say.

But having said that, some people are hypersensitive and can't take simple truths, that would be considered by most people to be presented in a reasonable manner. I don't think you always should have to go out of your way to sugarcoat a truth so much that you won't "hurt" anybody with it. Chances are that if you do, the truth in your message will be ignored then anyway. It's also putting the burden on the messenger (which I think is only justified if that person has proven to be worth the trouble or still gets the benefit of the doubt) and that person should probably learn to be less sensitive, which won't happen if people keep sugarcoating everything. But you have to be really objective and reasonable in deciding whether what you said was fairly presented or not. Which is a learning process.

However, if people overreact to your truthful statement (in your opinion) you also don't have to feel personally attacked by that, but instead can perhaps phrase your message differently, so to make clear that you're not trying to be a dick.

 

[-Magua-]

I'm a pragmatic dude. I try not to lie, but sometimes one has too out of own selfish or survival or not wanting to hurt others feelings.

Plus there are several situations during a week and perhaps a few personal that I choose not to disclose everything or conceal things to myself.
Best thing I try to live my best is to not deceive for my own benefit and hurt others.

In the end though, Truth, Virtue, and Beauty are gonna be the foundation to live a harmonious, beautiful life. Plato more or less para phrased.

Truth as true to yourself and others close to you in a kind & Loving way.
Not so much as telling your auntie she looks like a hippo if she asks you if she looks fat in a dress.