Do you have to deal with gaslighting in your life?

[ezikel315]

...at the same time, a lot of people have absolutely terrible memories and these can also be heavily influenced by their emotions.

Gaslighting is a conscious act to make you question your sanity. Based on what you have said previously, the former seems like the most likely explanation rather than gaslighting.

A chick I was briefly seeing recently accused me of gaslighting her because she got pissed at me when I tried to explain my side of the story. Long story short, we were hooking up casually on the down low and one of the conditions we had was that we give each other the heads up before we start seeing other people. Then she openly flirts with other guys in front of me so I assumed it was a greenlight for me to go for another woman I was interested in. She was furious at me at me because I broke our condition, but when I tried to explain my perspective while also expressing that I can understand why she's upset, and in hindsight we both should've communicated better, she said I was trying to gaslight her.

To her, I was the asshole and she did nothing wrong, while I was trying to say we both made mistakes. But apparently saying that makes me the gaslighter.

It seems now people use the term to excuse themselves from accountability.

 

[GSP_37]

Used to at work with shit characters always bullshitting like we are not in the same reality.

 

[SuperAlly]

Yes it's happened to me and I've known people where it's happened. It's basically just a form of emotional manipulation.

It's really common for people that are psychopaths to do this. One of the biggest attributes of a psychopath is inability to admit guilt and defensive to criticism. The way to get out of guilt and criticism is the just distort the narrative.

It can be really subtle too. Something as minor as "I'm sorry you feel that way". Essentially translates to "I did nothing wrong but I'm sorry your having a fuss about it for no reason at all".

So all the Hamas defenders on here are psychopaths. Got it.

 

[I Am Legion]

I think people aren't getting Gaslighting correct. The term is coined from a 1940 film and it's remake in 1944 called Gaslight. A guy purposely makes his wife think she is going crazy by making noises in the attic, making her believe she is a klepto by putting things in her purse, making her think she is forgetting simple things, and he also dims the gas lamps in the house when she thinks no one is home. He does this to try and get her institutionalized so he can steal family jewels. This is psychological abuse and manipulation. It isn't the same as arguing, disagreeing or changing peoples words.

 

[DanSavage]

I don‘t know I really understand what gaslighting is. I feel like it‘s a word I never heard until a year ago and now everyone is using it.

The term, 'gaslighting,' literally comes from the title of a 1944 movie, "Gaslight" starring Charles Boyer, Ingrid Bergman and Joseph Cotten.

The basic premise involves a woman who marries a man she met in Italy. When they return her home in London, she begins to notice strange goings-on: missing pictures, strange footsteps in the night, and gaslights that dim without being touched. As she fights to retain her sanity, her new husband's intentions come into question.

 

[DanSavage]

I think people aren't getting Gaslighting correct. The term is coined from a 1940 film and it's remake in 1944 called Gaslight. A guy purposely makes his wife think she is going crazy by making noises in the attic, making her believe she is a klepto by putting things in her purse, making her think she is forgetting simple things, and he also dims the gas lamps in the house when she thinks no one is home. He does this to try and get her institutionalized so he can steal family jewels. This is psychological abuse and manipulation. It isn't the same as arguing, disagreeing or changing peoples words.

You beat me to it. I just posted above about the 1944 film.