Divorce thread....

I got married in 2007 to my girlfriend of 4 years. We had dated a little bit in high school, then went our separate ways but got back together when we both moved back to our hometown. I was in the military, her fresh out of college. She clung to me. When I got transferred to another state she persisted that she go with me. We lived on ends meet until I got promoted. She pushed marriage. We got married after I got out. I remember looking at her at our wedding rehearsal thinking I can barely stand her. But i was 25 with no one telling me to do any different. We started having kids about 5 years later. I thought kids saved our marriage. I loved our kids more than anything, they gave me purpose and focus. When our second kid was around 2 she started hanging out with new people from work. She seemed to have this renewed energy to act and behave like a teenager. Turns out she was having an affair for about 6 months (though I've never gotten the full truth). When I caught on I confronted her, she admitted to being unhappy and talking to this guy but didn't admit to cheating. I told her to stop talking to him and she refused so I said you need to leave. She told me she was going to live with her sister/friend. Turns out she was staying with him. She lied. I found out. I told her it was over. I filed for the divorce and told her she wasn't getting shit. She cried and refused to sign the papers for 6 months and said she couldn't believe we were getting divorced! I got the house, custody of the kids. She got half our savings despite being a lazy cunt so she made out pretty well as far as I'm concerned. I haven't paid her a fucking dime since. I pay for everything for our kids but we split time with them.

I'm nearly 40. I can't imagine getting married again. I've had one serious relationship since. A very successful single mother. She and her kids moved into our house with us. She immediately started taking advantage of me financially. Eventually I wizened up and kicked her out.

Women are evil. Men are capable of more destruction but these fucking women push you deeper into a relationship with them but as soon as they're ready they try to take you for all you're worth and walk away. Fuck em
 
been through it.
rough.
hard to predict, but always on the horizon.
bitches can be difficult creatures.
 
surrealworlds said:
For me it was painfully obvious. I had been deployed for a year and when i got home it was like a completely different person i was married to. We fought over EVERYTHING.
Went on for a bout a year and then i found some texts on her phone of a sexual nature and i was done. Kicked the bitch out and never looked back.

That was 5 years ago. Haven't been this happy in years. Good job, house is paid off, car is paid off and getting back in shape.(i got fat after military and divorce). Life is good bro. Cut the cord.
Click to expand...

Don't get why people get married who are in the military. Isn't the divorce rate high?
 
I've been with my GF for 14 years and we never married. We see countless divorces between that time with people we know and family members.
 
Going through it right now.

No controversies. Just evolved into two roommates that are raising two terrific kids.

We were together for over twenty years.

We told each other that we loved each other all the time. But, I don't think we said "I appreciate you" enough.

We're both middle aged. It's hard.

I haven't been around here that much for the past few months. This is why.

The kids have handled this very maturely.

I wish I could point to a particular moment to say "that's what happened" but it just isn't there. We simply became lonely together.
 
Fluffernutter said:
Going through it right now.

No controversies. Just evolved into two roommates that are raising two terrific kids.

We were together for over twenty years.

We told each other that we loved each other all the time. But, I don't think we said "I appreciate you" enough.

We're both middle aged. It's hard.

I haven't been around here that much for the past few months. This is why.

The kids have handled this very maturely.

I wish I could point to a particular moment to say "that's what happened" but it just isn't there. We simply became lonely together.
Click to expand...
Did you guys try a marriage counselor?
 
I never been married but been though plenty of breakups. Often times the woman has made up her mind to leave long before she actually does. Also women don't know what they want.
Between my experiences, stories from people I've met, threads like this, it all makes me even more certain about my decision to never get married. They say married men live longer and are more successful, but the divorce rate is about 50% so it's really a flip of the coin. Is the gamble worth it?
 
Knowing that marriage is 50/50 when you're married to someone that makes more than you and you don't have kids takes the edge off concern. If things didn't work out between my wife and I, I sure as shit wouldn't get married again.
 
Fluffernutter said:
Going through it right now.

No controversies. Just evolved into two roommates that are raising two terrific kids.

We were together for over twenty years.

We told each other that we loved each other all the time. But, I don't think we said "I appreciate you" enough.

We're both middle aged. It's hard.

I haven't been around here that much for the past few months. This is why.

The kids have handled this very maturely.

I wish I could point to a particular moment to say "that's what happened" but it just isn't there. We simply became lonely together.
Click to expand...
Doesn't sound all that bad to be honest. Sounds like you raised some wonderful kids, but that it's time for you both to move on and enjoy the next phase of your lives.

Is it possible you will look back on this with regret? Maybe. But it's also possible you'll find yourself in a new life that you very much like, and be grateful that this was a blessing in disguise.
 
We were engaged not married but the event that sticks in mind was.......my college friend was getting married and she invited us. My girl started drinking before and during the wedding, without eating. Now it's mid day and the food comes out and it's seafood. She hates seafood so she won't touch it. She's in her angry drunk mode. We leave in the evening and stop to get food and fight because she's super drunk and angry as usual. Get home, argue some more. Then I leave to go watch the UFC, I don't remember which one but Frank Mir was fighting. I think that was the day I was done with her ruining days and making it all about her drunk self. All I wanted to do that day was enjoy my friends wedding then watch the fights, wasn't too much to ask for.
 
I was with my ex-wife for 7 years, married for 4 of those. I knew it was over when I called her on my lunch break from my factory job, as I always did each day, to ask if there was anything she needed me to pick up from the store on the way home, and she said, "I want a divorce."

While I was at freaking work... on a lunch break. I was thinking maybe more cigarettes (smoker at the time, cigarette-free for over 9 years now), some eggs... maybe some garlic powder, dish soap... but no, a divorce. LMAO.

I can laugh about it now, but at the time, it was devastating. And I didn't see it coming. I was by no means the perfect husband; I had my moments of being a dickhead, but I treated her well, never hit her, made sure we never went without food, and the bills were paid. In general, it seemed like things were fine.

Like any relationship, we had our issues, but I also think she was unhappy due to reasons outside of my control.

Long story short, as I was packing my stuff and getting ready to drive 8 hours back to my hometown with a suitcase, duffle bag, and a computer, she changed her mind and wanted to move with me and give the marriage another chance.

I stupidly agreed, and so we moved to my hometown together, where the marriage only lasted another 6 months until it was I who wanted the divorce because I had grown bitter about everything.

That was 16 years ago, and I’ve been with my fiancée for 14 years.

Shit happens. I no longer hold any resentment toward her, and I haven’t for a long time.

Being human is tough, and wherever she is, I hope she’s doing well.
 
EndlessCritic said:
Doesn't sound all that bad to be honest. Sounds like you raised some wonderful kids, but that it's time for you both to move on and enjoy the next phase of your lives.

Is it possible you will look back on this with regret? Maybe. But it's also possible you'll find yourself in a new life that you very much like, and be grateful that this was a blessing in disguise.
Click to expand...
Thank you for your kind and optimistic words.
 
You must log in or register to reply here.

Latest posts

Forum statistics

Threads
1,282,617
Messages
58,449,742
Members
176,041
Latest member
jaybuff

Share this page

Back
Top