Dealing With Mental Affects Of Being Confronted

[Cole train]

I made between $250-$2000 (cash) a night depending on the type of event going on. Worked 3 to 4 nights a week. The base pay was $20.00 and between tips and several side hustles, the average was probably $700. It was great money, but it was super dangerous work and there's no retirement plan.

Most of the side hustle money came from a few ways. In the college bar, the owner encouraged us to let underage kids in with fake IDs and I was really good at spotting fakes. So I would confiscate them and deny entry. If they wanted them back, I would ask for $200. Most college kids can't afford that on their own, but their friends would put money together and get me like $100 so I would take that. A fake costs a lot less than that, but it was worth it to them to not ruin their outing. It got to where the kids would know if they slipped me like $60 without asking I would allow them entry. When you've you a few hundred people a night coming through, I could get a dozen or so fakes a night.

At the hip hop clubs, we were the biggest name in town and everyone wanted entry. We had lines that were a hundred people long at time and I usually worked the VIP entrance because I was one of the more educated and good looking bouncers so they liked me working the rich people. People would pay up to $100 to allow them to skip the line. Then there were drugs. Once inside the club, pretty much everyone was doing drugs. At one club our bathroom attendants were arrested on federal racketeering and drug trafficking charges for selling out of the bathrooms. We searched everyone for weapons and contraband on the way in, and I found consume weed/coke/pills pretty much on half of the people. I would charge them like $40 to let them keep it and bring it in. Then dress code was a huge thing. People wanted to come in dressed outside of our code. Things like fitted hats and boots weren't allowed if you weren't getting a section, so we would charge like $100 to let regular people slide in. I definitely made the most money working the hip hop clubs because the gang members and traffickers would have tons of money and understand how to get what they want with bribes. The only thing I wouldn't be flexible on was weapons. The only time I ever let a weapon through was with a personal friend who was a high ranking Grape Street Crip and had tons of enemies. I would let him in with a little Derringer because he was a target and needed protection getting to the building from his vehicle. I also knew he was smart enough to never use it in a ridiculous manner. We would find tons of guns, knives, and women liked to have razors.

Classic

i knew guys who would arrest dealers ( we can arrest them here then wait for police)

Then steal their drugs and just throw them out and sell their drugs themselfs lol

But for that kind of money you made i would work gladly.

I was making 9 bucks an hour when fighting syringes in mcdonalds lol

 

[DoomPatrol]

Classic

i knew guys who would arrest dealers ( we can arrest them here then wait for police)

Then steal their drugs and just throw them out and sell their drugs themselfs lol

But for that kind of money you made i would work gladly.

I was making 9 bucks an hour when fighting syringes in mcdonalds lol

Yeah it was great money, but like I said earlier, I saw tons of really bad violence. Had a friend get murdered. Had another friend who was chased out of the industry by MS-13 gang members. I saw multiple homicides. Had another coworker shot in the chest. I was in a few parking lot gun fights. I've ruined a few suits having to stop people from dying from exsanguination after getting shot or stabbed. I got hurt multiple times in big brawls and fights. I had a few concussions, one so bad that it made me suicidal for months. Had a shoulder get torn out of socket during a brawl. Broken fingers. Black eyes. It was just craziness and became just too much to deal with for longer than I had to. I was always stressed out and it ruined going out to clubs and bars for me. I kind of reached the top of that industry's potential. I was doing private security for all sorts of celebrities when they came into town. Everyone from Shaq, Jay Z, Beyonce, Gucci Mane, Jeezy (actually became friends with his son), Kevin Hart, Dave Chappelle, Will Smith and his wife Jada, Charlie Hunnam, Tommy Flanagan, Marshawn Lynch, Adam Jones, Floyd Mayweather, Roy Jones Jr and basically most of the Braves and Falcons players. Our clubs were the place the be in the city if you wanted to go out and had money. We had the 4 biggest hip hop clubs in different areas of the city of varying levels of ghetto/danger, we had a huge EDM club, and we had jazz/upscale club, and a really flashy wealthy dance club that had tables selling for $5000 minimum on a week night and up to $25,000 on a Friday/Saturday.

We never arrested anyone, but I always kept stupid strong mace (only used it on women interestingly enough), a pocket knife, and I had a handgun that I carried outside the building such as working the door or closing up at night. If I was working anywhere I could get into an altercation, I would place the handgun in my closet and lock it up.

Then of course the college bar I worked was this shit-hole spot on the top floor of the nicest neighborhood in the entire city. That's where I got my start, and friends got me working in the other venues. The college bar was like 90% white and Asian kids from this really great top 10 in the United States engineering school. So a lot of awkward kids and not so much anything crazy or flashy. Most of them didn't have any money to their name and were super nerds.

I started working as a bouncer because I had just gotten out of the Marine Corps infantry to go to college and the GI Bill wasn't paying enough for me to survive without a part time job. Figured it would be easy money and the bar was literally at the end of my street. I could walk from my apartment and be there in like 2 minutes. Made it super easy to bring home girls too and was all cash. Worked that job all the way through college until I wound up with this great internship.

 

[Cole train]

Yeah it was great money, but like I said earlier, I saw tons of really bad violence. Had a friend get murdered. Had another friend who was chased out of the industry by MS-13 gang members. I saw multiple homicides. Had another coworker shot in the chest. I was in a few parking lot gun fights. I've ruined a few suits having to stop people from dying from exsanguination after getting shot or stabbed. I got hurt multiple times in big brawls and fights. I had a few concussions, one so bad that it made me suicidal for months. Had a shoulder get torn out of socket during a brawl. Broken fingers. Black eyes. It was just craziness and became just too much to deal with for longer than I had to. I was always stressed out and it ruined going out to clubs and bars for me. I kind of reached the top of that industry's potential. I was doing private security for all sorts of celebrities when they came into town. Everyone from Shaq, Jay Z, Beyonce, Gucci Mane, Jeezy (actually became friends with his son), Kevin Hart, Dave Chappelle, Will Smith and his wife Jada, Charlie Hunnam, Tommy Flanagan, Marshawn Lynch, Adam Jones, Floyd Mayweather, Roy Jones Jr and basically most of the Braves and Falcons players. Our clubs were the place the be in the city if you wanted to go out and had money. We had the 4 biggest hip hop clubs in different areas of the city of varying levels of ghetto/danger, we had a huge EDM club, and we had jazz/upscale club, and a really flashy wealthy dance club that had tables selling for $5000 minimum on a week night and up to $25,000 on a Friday/Saturday.

Then of course the college bar I worked was this shit-hole spot on the top floor of the nicest neighborhood in the entire city. That's where I got my start, and friends got me working in the other venues. The college bar was like 90% white and Asian kids from this really great top 10 in the United States engineering school. So a lot of awkward kids and not so much anything crazy or flashy. Most of them didn't have any money to their name and were super nerds.

I started working as a bouncer because I had just gotten out of the Marine Corps infantry to go to college and the GI Bill wasn't paying enough for me to survive without a part time job. Figured it would be easy money and the bar was literally at the end of my street. I could walk from my apartment and be there in like 2 minutes. Made it super easy to bring home girls too and was all cash. Worked that job all the way through college until I wound up with this great internship.

You should write a book really

 

[Loiosh]

I cut a guy off in traffic and he followed me two miles until I arrived at my destination and got out of my truck. He got out of his car and was in a rage, swearing, spitting, just furious. I had been working for twelve hours and wasn't in the mood, so I dropped my backpack and asked him if he was going to take a shot, or just stamp his feet. He came at me to shove me, and he was quite a bit bigger than me, but this was when I was spending thirty hours a week in a judo dojo and I was stronger then him. I grabbed his arms as he pushed me and just shoved him back.

Just then my friend came out of his house (which is where I had been going). The big guy looked at him, looked at me, spat at my feet, and drove off.

In the moment I felt almost nothing. In my experience people who have lost their temper are the most easily handled so I was never worried, and when all you plan on doing is defending yourself and not hurting anyone, that's easily accomplished. Just look at professional fighters who don't risk offense. It's tough to hurt a guy who knows how to defend himself if he isn't taking any risks. So, I didn't think there was any emotion going on.

After the guy drove off, I had an insane adrenaline dump. I swear I never felt amped up, excited, nothing, but when the situation had resolved, I crashed. It was bizarre.

 

[Andy Capp]

Effects*

Captain Pedant approves of this post.

On topic, adrenaline dumps are for real. They can have strange after-effects, I think. Give it another day or two, TS.

 

[JOE QUEEF]

Last night i was attacked in a pub although i suffered no injuries it mentally has me screwed today.

 

[nostradumbass]

Have sex with the attacker to establish your dominance.

 

[Benny Viper]

This is why I show my gun in the face of conflict

 

[Shuque]

Lol @ "some"

Dude is a living legend with unending layers of infamy wrapped in a beta crust reinforced with infinite insecurity

I'll forgive you this time for not properly addressing this man's legacy, just don't let it happen again, bruh.

Dude, did you not read what this guy did to his neighbor?

You better step lightly around him.

 

[sweetviolenturg]

Exactly. I've mentioned this before, but I spent about 7 years as a bouncer working various major clubs in a major city. Done security in drug trafficking/gang infested rap clubs and in college bars. I've seen more street fights and been in more street fights than I could even begin to total up to a number. It's in the hundreds. Most turn out alright, but a lot have ended in people having permanent repercussions from a stupid fight. I've seen people get murdered in the parking lot over a bar fight. I've had a coworker get shot in the face in front of me and die. I've had another several shootings that resulted in various hospital stays. I've seen people slashed and stabbed. I've seen people break bones. I've personally nearly killed a man with a single punch that went bad when he landed wrong on concrete. That's not even getting to the dozens of people arrested for batteries.

I would do everything I can to avoid a fight. You can win and still lose. My buddy who was shot in the face was killed for kicking out a drunk gang member. Barely even put his hands on the guy, but he went to his car and came back with an AR-15 pistol and shot him. Spilled drinks/fights over women/stepping on shoes. All that "disrespect" will get you hurt.

The most memorable experience was this hip hop club I worked at that was really popular. Well one night the DJ is out back and some dude pulls up in a car and he's got a pistol. Fires off a magazine at the DJ and the DJ busts back into the club from the back door with a gunshot to his leg. Femoral injury, blood is just pouring out. Gunshots were loud enough and the DJ running past everyone was enough to cause a riot in the club. Like 200 people scramble out of the club, busting out the glass of the front of the building to escape. Turns out the DJ was fucking some chick and the girl's boyfriend found out. So he showed up to give street justice. That was a long night with paperwork and statements to the police.

Damn, bro & here I thought that I had some crazy experiences! I've got nothing on you.
Did you have any legal issues from the incident in which you hurt the individual on the concrete?
I witnessed an incident similar to yours occur at a post-fight party at a club in Binghampton, NY back in the early '90s when a friend of mine named Stanley who got stopped in the second round earlier in the evening got into it with a local with beer muscles on the dance floor. The guy had been harassing him from about an hour or so before it came to a head & when it was over the local was dead.
At least temporarily.
I don't know what the local was thinking when he began with his bullshit because although he was a good-sized guy himself, Stanley is 6'7" & about 260 lbs. A former college basketball star who took up boxing after his hopes for the NBA ended. He was just a journeyman pro but he could handle himself but I guess when the local saw him lose he thought he could intimidate my friend or something. Maybe he wanted to look cool in front of his friends, I don't know but after Stan warned him off after the final exchange of words the local decided to escalate things by shoving him. Well, Stan responded with a right hand & it was over just like that. But the local idiot hit his head on the dance floor when he fell. Hard.
I'll never forget the moment of silence that followed. It was eerie because although it only lasted for a second, in that second as people's eyes met it was understood that something bad had just happened.
Right away people went to the local's aid & tried to revive him but he was gone. I remember some chick in a very short dress started crying when one of the individuals who were attempting to revive him said he wasn't breathing. When the EMTs arrived a few minutes later they immediately went to work & at first it looked very grim but maybe a minute later they got him breathing again. And they carted him off.
Naturally, there was a big police investigation afterward & Stan was arrested & he spent the night in jail. But it all got resolved when the local was released from the hospital & decided not to press charges once all the witness's accounts of the night pointed to him as the aggressor. I guess he made some noise about a lawsuit a few months later but nothing ever came of it.
That was the only time that I witnessed someone "die" as the result of injuries but, like you, I've pretty much seen everything. A lot of it when I worked as a hospital security guard in downtown Niagara Falls which is in a very bad area.

 

[lsa]

you did a bad job.

 

[JOE QUEEF]

People would pay up to $100 to allow them to skip the line.

That was the best. "Hosing the line", we called it. Different prices for different vices.

 

[DoomPatrol]

Damn, bro & here I thought that I had some crazy experiences! I've got nothing on you.
Did you have any legal issues from the incident in which you hurt the individual on the concrete?
I witnessed an incident similar to yours occur at a post-fight party at a club in Binghampton, NY back in the early '90s when a friend of mine named Stanley who got stopped in the second round earlier in the evening got into it with a local with beer muscles on the dance floor. The guy had been harassing him from about an hour or so before it came to a head & when it was over the local was dead.
At least temporarily.
I don't know what the local was thinking when he began with his bullshit because although he was a good-sized guy himself, Stanley is 6'7" & about 260 lbs. A former college basketball star who took up boxing after his hopes for the NBA ended. He was just a journeyman pro but he could handle himself but I guess when the local saw him lose he thought he could intimidate my friend or something. Maybe he wanted to look cool in front of his friends, I don't know but after Stan warned him off after the final exchange of words the local decided to escalate things by shoving him. Well, Stan responded with a right hand & it was over just like that. But the local idiot hit his head on the dance floor when he fell. Hard.
I'll never forget the moment of silence that followed. It was eerie because although it only lasted for a second, in that second as people's eyes met it was understood that something bad had just happened.
Right away people went to the local's aid & tried to revive him but he was gone. I remember some chick in a very short dress started crying when one of the individuals who were attempting to revive him said he wasn't breathing. When the EMTs arrived a few minutes later they immediately went to work & at first it looked very grim but maybe a minute later they got him breathing again. And they carted him off.
Naturally, there was a big police investigation afterward & Stan was arrested & he spent the night in jail. But it all got resolved when the local was released from the hospital & decided not to press charges once all the witness's accounts of the night pointed to him as the aggressor. I guess he made some noise about a lawsuit a few months later but nothing ever came of it.
That was the only time that I witnessed someone "die" as the result of injuries but, like you, I've pretty much seen everything. A lot of it when I worked as a hospital security guard in downtown Niagara Falls which is in a very bad area.

Yeah that incident was scary for a few reasons. I was working the door with my car parked about twenty yards away in my line of sight. Basically front row parking at this patio in front of the entrance that people could hang out and drink on. Well later in the night this group of like 8 people started hanging out next to my car. They were fine until this one guy climbed into the hood of my car and let this chick straddle him so they could make out. His friends were all letting it happen, so I yelled at him to move off my car. They looked at me and ignored me so after a few verbal attempts I decided to go over there and handle it.

I pushed through the friends and grabbed that guy and pulled him off my car. He was really drunk so he stumbled like ten yards, and I didn't even grab him that hard. Well his friends at that point freaked out on me, even though I was wearing a security sweatshirt and they had all seen me at the door yelling at them. I was trying to move out from the group when they started grabbing on me and shit. I could tell I was one wrong decision from getting jumped by half a dozen drunk guys for yoking up their buddy.

I see the drunk guy coming back towards me like he wants to fight and I've got myself in the center of this group of guys, with them literally trying to grab onto me. So I decided I needed to end this before it starts. When the drunk kid gets close enough to me I just nail him in the mouth as hard as I can to try and put him out of the fight and scare any guys on the fence about this fight that's about to happen.

Well dude is completely knocked out immediately and falls. His head hits a car bumper face first, then he smacks the back of his head against one of those parking lot concrete vehicle blocks.

It sounded like a melon getting smashed. All of his buddies immediately let me go and were freaking out. This kid was still just out on the ground. His little girlfriend cradled his head in his lap like he was dead and was screaming and crying.

I took that opportunity to move out of the group and waited off to the side until he woke up, which was a few minutes. Then I decided to leave the door and go inside before things got worse. They all left shortly after that and I didn't hear anything until the next day.

He showed up the next door looking for the guy who hit him, and he didn't even recognize me. He had taken a few dozen stitches because his upper teeth on the side he fell on had split the inside of his lip/cheek open along the entire inside. His face was scuffed and his eye was swollen shut. His upper lip had this huge gash where I hit him.

Dude threatened to sue me but I told him he was committing a crime against my property and his buddies and him were physically/verbally threatening me, that video would back that up. He was also so intoxicated that he didn't recognize me, so my lawyer would have a field day with him.

He called my boss a few times to try and get me fired, but nothing else came out it. The only thing was that I decided to never throw fists again while working unless I absolutely had to. I nearly killed that kid and he nearly sued me.

Definitely scared me though. I've seen people get permanent brain damage from getting hit wrong and I don't need that on my conscience.

I really and truly avoid violence now that I'm older and more mature. My buddies and my motto when we were younger used to be "if we ain't fucking, we're fighting". We would go out every weekend and try to pick up girls or get into street fights. We were real pieces of shit for that, but we were lucky to get have serious problems from it. Now you would have to present a physical threat to me or someone I love to get me swinging. I'm going to ignore you or laugh if you try to get me upset with words.

 

[SRN]

Do what I did when something similar happened. Hit the gym, learn how to defend yourself (bjj, judo, wrestling, boxing...), you'll feel much more confident and will feel better overall, it's a win-win situation. One last thing, if something like this happens again don't fight, just do anything possible to defend yourself and leave. It's not worth it!

 

[Cole train]

Might as well say my opinion for the hell of it.

Fear of conflict correlates with how much you have to lose.

Teenage me among the homeless and early twenties criminal me were easily the most dangerous versions of me.

Me nowadays would beat both those versions of me in fist fight but those two would just stab or shoot me

Compared to teenage/early twenties me im a pussy nowadays

 

[sweetviolenturg]

Yeah that incident was scary for a few reasons. I was working the door with my car parked about twenty yards away in my line of sight. Basically front row parking at this patio in front of the entrance that people could hang out and drink on. Well later in the night this group of like 8 people started hanging out next to my car. They were fine until this one guy climbed into the hood of my car and let this chick straddle him so they could make out. His friends were all letting it happen, so I yelled at him to move off my car. They looked at me and ignored me so after a few verbal attempts I decided to go over there and handle it.

I pushed through the friends and grabbed that guy and pulled him off my car. He was really drunk so he stumbled like ten yards, and I didn't even grab him that hard. Well his friends at that point freaked out on me, even though I was wearing a security sweatshirt and they had all seen me at the door yelling at them. I was trying to move out from the group when they started grabbing on me and shit. I could tell I was one wrong decision from getting jumped by half a dozen drunk guys for yoking up their buddy.

I see the drunk guy coming back towards me like he wants to fight and I've got myself in the center of this group of guys, with them literally trying to grab onto me. So I decided I needed to end this before it starts. When the drunk kid gets close enough to me I just nail him in the mouth as hard as I can to try and put him out of the fight and scare any guys on the fence about this fight that's about to happen.



Well dude is completely knocked out immediately and falls. His head hits a car bumper face first, then he smacks the back of his head against one of those parking lot concrete vehicle blocks.

It sounded like a melon getting smashed. All of his buddies immediately let me go and were freaking out. This kid was still just out on the ground. His little girlfriend cradled his head in his lap like he was dead and was screaming and crying.

I took that opportunity to move out of the group and waited off to the side until he woke up, which was a few minutes. Then I decided to leave the door and go inside before things got worse. They all left shortly after that and I didn't hear anything until the next day.

He showed up the next door looking for the guy who hit him, and he didn't even recognize me. He had taken a few dozen stitches because his upper teeth on the side he fell on had split the inside of his lip/cheek open along the entire inside. His face was scuffed and his eye was swollen shut. His upper lip had this huge gash where I hit him.

Dude threatened to sue me but I told him he was committing a crime against my property and his buddies and him were physically/verbally threatening me, that video would back that up. He was also so intoxicated that he didn't recognize me, so my lawyer would have a field day with him.

He called my boss a few times to try and get me fired, but nothing else came out it. The only thing was that I decided to never throw fists again while working unless I absolutely had to. I nearly killed that kid and he nearly sued me.

Definitely scared me though. I've seen people get permanent brain damage from getting hit wrong and I don't need that on my conscience.

I really and truly avoid violence now that I'm older and more mature. My buddies and my motto when we were younger used to be "if we ain't fucking, we're fighting". We would go out every weekend and try to pick up girls or get into street fights. We were real pieces of shit for that, but we were lucky to get have serious problems from it. Now you would have to present a physical threat to me or someone I love to get me swinging. I'm going to ignore you or laugh if you try to get me upset with words.

Yeah, same here. I don't even go out to bars anymore. I think the last time that I went out to drink was in 2014. Since then, it's just been to establishments that are primarily known for their food while with my wife.

I'm too old to be putting myself in a position where violent encounters are likely to happen. The last two times that I got involved in situations that went south were when I had to step in at get my stepdaughter out of a jam & I could have wound up dead in both.
The first involved a dispute with her neighbors who were having a wild, drunken party one night & had some guests who were harassing my stepdaughter next door. Which scared her so she called me. I only lived around the corner from her at the time so I went over to attempt to diffuse the situation. Which was stupid. I should have just ged her call the cops but I was a bit pissed so I went over to the neighbor's & knocked on the door. I thought I could reason with them but as soon as they answered the door they had a really bad attitude with me & basically told me to fuck off. So, I told them that if they bothered my stepdaughter again that I'd call the cops. At which point this little wiry bastard reached through the doorframe & smacked me. Which made me see red so I grabbed him & dragged him out the door to throttle the little shit at which point the guy I'd been talking to took the full bottle of Jack he'd been holding & nailed me in the back of the head with it.
I know he expected me to drop like a stone like they do in the movies but I've got a very hard head so the only thing I really felt was the wetness in the cold night air where my scalp was split open. So, I began to beat the shit out of him while the little guy ran back into the house. While this was all going on my stepdaughter was on her front porch calling the cops.
When I'd finished with the host of the party I did the next stupid thing, which was to walk into the guy's apartment to get my hands of that little guy again which, of course, got me jumped by his friends who did there best to beat me up but mostly just got themselves covered in my blood because I was bleeding like a stuck pig. I think in the end I did a bit more damage to them ( there were four of them ) than they did to me even though I was on the bottom. But I was slippery as hell as honestly, I think they were too squeamish about all my blood than they were eager to do more harm to me. Though toward the end of the chaos, I do remember some girl kept grabbing at me so rather than strike out at her I threw a keylock on her for a second & gave it a little crank to get me to fuck off. It got me hit a few more times by one of the guys but he didn't know what he was doing so it was nothing.
At which point the police stormed in & order was restored. I was carted off by ambulance with a split scalp that required staples & stitches to close, a plethora of scrapes & bruises & a broken finger.
In the end, despite my bad choices, I was cleared off any wrongdoing & that little shit got busted for assault & resisting arrest as well as a couple of old warrants.