Coping with break-ups and advice

[m0353]

I'm hoping Mayberry is the proper spot for this thread, so here it goes.

This is essentially just asking you guys how you cope with harsh break-ups and if you guys have any advice to get over it. I've been there before, but I'm more interested what you guys have to say.

My current situation is this:
We were going pretty strong for a while up until December, when some distance was happening between us and our nights together became less and more of with other people.

Just last week we decided to give ourselves some space and pretty well broke up, I kind of knew it was going to happen. Anyways, what really got me was today when I went to the bar with some friends. She was there with another one of my friends (that guy and I weren't that close BTW).

At the time I didn't think too much of it, since they had been friends since high school (she has a lot of guy friends). We decided to join groups and I sat with her, we were getting close.

Finally that guy asked who wanted to play darts, so she and I went up. We played for a while, all laughing. I was getting close with her and the guy didn't do or say anything. Went to the washroom, came back and saw them making out.

She told me they had begun dating, and "it didn't seem like a problem all night"...even though there was absolutely no indication and I had known these people for a long time. They even asked me earlier if I wanted to go to Las Vegas.

I did try to contact her a few times and even visited her at work during that week we broke, trying to prove myself a litte. However, she was distant and only returned one of the 4 or 5 texts I sent her. Even now I have no ambition to talk to them again, but it still hurts.

So, call me attn whore or whining or whatever, I just want to know how you guys have coped from some of your more harsher break-ups.

 

[Bobby Boulders]

The OT is the proper spot for threads like these, for future reference.

 

[Taskforce3Tango]

May I ask your and her ages? This seems like young adult shit to me. Breaking up sucks no matter how you slice it. The fact that you see her out with another dude let alone an acquaintance cuts really deep. My suggestion move on bro. Save yourself the headache. If it's a relationship you desire get off your pity party puss wagon and go find another woman. There are always options out there.

 

[Blood Python]

Women expect guys to not even think twice about looking at another woman fresh out of a breakup (weeks, months) but truth be told they are the ones who are hooking up with dudes 1 day after a meaningful relationship.

You sound like a really nice guy and I don't want to sound rude about this but that girl sounds like a sloot. She won't feel bad about it she is just having fun and doing her thing. She has a lot of guy friends for a reason.

You are on a different maturity level than her so be proud of that.

 

[Bobby Boulders]

Two ways I know of to get over a harsh breakup.

1. Get some strange.
2. Time, if you are so heartbroken that you can't just go out and get some strange.

Life will go on dude. Better to move on sooner rather than later.

 

[m0353]

May I ask your and her ages? This seems like young adult shit to me. Breaking up sucks no matter how you slice it. The fact that you see her out with another dude let alone an acquaintance cuts really deep. My suggestion move on bro. Save yourself the headache. If it's a relationship you desire get off your pity party puss wagon and go find another woman. There are always options out there.

Both in our early 20's, had been seeing each other for over 2 years, so young adult. I think it was just the fact it was only a week, and they were already talking about going on trips with each other; they were apparently going to movies with each other towards the end of our relationship; the fact that he hung out with us more often and pretended to treat me as a close friend to get closer to her.

There are other options, no doubt

 

[m0353]

Women expect guys to not even think twice about looking at another woman fresh out of a breakup (weeks, months) but truth be told they are the ones who are hooking up with dudes 1 day after a meaningful relationship.

You sound like a really nice guy and I don't want to sound rude about this but that girl sounds like a sloot. She won't feel bad about it she is just having fun and doing her thing. She has a lot of guy friends for a reason.

You are on a different maturity level than her so be proud of that.

Two ways I know of to get over a harsh breakup.

1. Get some strange.
2. Time, if you are so heartbroken that you can't just go out and get some strange.

Life will go on dude. Better to move on sooner rather than later.

Thanks guys for the tips, much appreciated

 

[Aunty Dana**]

Hookers and coke should cheer you up.

 

[Taskforce3Tango]

Both in our early 20's, had been seeing each other for over 2 years, so young adult. I think it was just the fact it was only a week, and they were already talking about going on trips with each other; they were apparently going to movies with each other towards the end of our relationship; the fact that he hung out with us more often and pretended to treat me as a close friend to get closer to her.

There are other options, no doubt

Well I was no better than anyone at that age. Man I scared myself to death back then. I use to get hooked on the wrong women left and right. Some were easier to walk away from than others. Overall you just have to realize that you are young. You have a lot of time to break hearts and get yours broken.

Obviously your girl was planning on breaking it off with you long before the relationship ended. I wouldn't be surprised if you found out she was cheating on you with him. I know this doesn't make you feel better, but you should think about it and plan not to react harshly. Seriously though enjoy your youth and your newly found freedom.

And of course pics of ex or work.

 

[m0353]

Well I was no better than anyone at that age. Man I scared myself to death back then. I use to get hooked on the wrong women left and right. Some were easier to walk away from than others. Overall you just have to realize that you are young. You have a lot of time to break hearts and get yours broken.

Obviously your girl was planning on breaking it off with you long before the relationship ended. I wouldn't be surprised if you found out she was cheating on you with him. I know this doesn't make you feel better, but you should think about it and plan not to react harshly. Seriously though enjoy your youth and your newly found freedom.

And of course pics of ex or work.

Very much appreciated, and you're completely right, I do need to get over this sooner than later and not dwell on myself.
I intend on enjoying the freedom

lol, let's just say she was tall and looked a bit like Zoe Kazan.

 

[Unknown Pleasures]

Women expect guys to not even think twice about looking at another woman fresh out of a breakup (weeks, months) but truth be told they are the ones who are hooking up with dudes 1 day after a meaningful relationship.

In response to the threadstarter:

You sound like a good guy and I don't want to sound rude about this but that girl sounds like a sloot. She won't feel bad about it she is just having fun and doing her thing. She has a lot of guy friends for a reason.

You are on a different maturity level than her so be proud of that.

One day? I know a girl who got dumped and then called another guy minutes after lol.

The example I heard is women are like monkeys, swinging from tree to tree (the trees in this are guys), whereas men climb down from trees, walk on the ground, then climb the next.

Regardless, you shouldn't feel especially bad that your girlfriend jumped to some other guy so fast, it's how a lot of women are these days, and they tend to be low quality. Just don't be a part of her circus; make no effort to contact her and live your life proper and find the right person for you where you happen to be the right person for her as well.

 

[Unknown Pleasures]

^^^^ I can't seem to edit, but most of my post above is for the TS.

 

[WiolentOne]

Both in our early 20's, had been seeing each other for over 2 years, so young adult. I think it was just the fact it was only a week, and they were already talking about going on trips with each other; they were apparently going to movies with each other towards the end of our relationship; the fact that he hung out with us more often and pretended to treat me as a close friend to get closer to her.

There are other options, no doubt

Whoa. Thats a decent amount of time at that age. She's just a slut dude. Move on... don't ask for answers from her. Don't call or text her anymore and don't let her call or txt you. Don't blame yourself. She's just a no good whore. She was the problem not you.

 

[Unknown Pleasures]

Whoa. Thats a decent amount of time at that age. She's just a slut dude. Move on... don't ask for answers from her. Don't call or text her anymore and don't let her call or txt you. Don't blame yourself. She's just a no good whore. She was the problem not you.

sound advice here. i concur 100%

 

[Thames]

Last I had a girlfriend, I got dumped.
I just thanked her for the good times, and haven't spoken to her since.
Sometimes you will have some setbacks, and start thinking about her. That is alright.
What you must never ever do is contact her.
The brain has a funny way of deleting all your bad memories, so in 6 months or so when you think back on your relationship, you will only remember the good times, and wonder "why the fuck did i break up with her?" or vice versa. There was a reason you stopped seeing each other.
If by some chance she accepts your desperate cry for a reunion, those reasons will slowly but surely start coming back again.
It's easier moving on if you have an easy time getting laid, or as in my case, your ex-girlfriend gets fat.
If not, I heard alcohol you should do the trick (turn off your phone and hide it before you get drunk).
It also helps me thinking that my relationships are not based on a Hollywood movie, we weren't put together by fate. A simple chemical reaction in your brain, and bam. That is it.

 

[Aunty Dana**]

Last I had a girlfriend, I got dumped.
I just thanked her for the good times, and haven't spoken to her since.
Sometimes you will have some setbacks, and start thinking about her. That is alright.
What you must never ever do is contact her.
The brain has a funny way of deleting all your bad memories, so in 6 months or so when you think back on your relationship, you will only remember the good times, and wonder "why the fuck did i break up with her?" or vice versa. There was a reason you stopped seeing each other.
If by some chance she accepts your desperate cry for a reunion, those reasons will slowly but surely start coming back again.
It's easier moving on if you have an easy time getting laid, or as in my case, your ex-girlfriend gets fat.
If not, I heard alcohol you should do the trick (turn off your phone and hide it before you get drunk).
It also helps me thinking that my relationships are not based on a Hollywood movie, we weren't put together by fate. A simple chemical reaction in your brain, and bam. That is it.

This is really, really good advice. Get a friend to hide your phone or something if you plan on going out and drinking.

 

[RG3**]

...

 

[whooty]

Step by step plan for your situation.

Step 1. Train UFC for at least 2 weeks.
Step 2. Drink beer the first saturday after your intense training UFC.
Step 3. Snort coke whilst drunk.
Step 4. Beat the living shit out of your 'friend' with coke rage and your new found UFC skills.
Step 5. Fuck her best friend and make pictures while doing so.
Step 6. Send her new boyfriend a get well soon card and include the pictures in it.
Step 7. Continue life being awesome


Optionally you can just skip to #7, but I def. recommend doing steps 2 and 5. And send us the pics

 

[Aunty Dana**]

Show us the pics of your ex TS.

 

[Victor Maitland]

use this line..


Be better , not bitter .



You will use this situation to motivate you. next time she see's you ,you will have improved everything about yourself.