Coping with break-ups and advice

[Goat Meal]

To the OP - I was in precisely this situation in my late teens. I dated a girl from 17-19, basically wasting the best years of high school, and when we broke up she immediately started dating some weird 22 year old that was known to predate younger chicks. I guess that's what she was into because they're married now and have a baby.

We tried being friends but it wasn't working for me so I had to cut all ties. It was very difficult but I stopped calling her and seeing her. I did whatever I could (drinking, hanging out with friends, etc) to be distracted. Eventually debilitating sadness gives way to cathartic hatred which gives way to acceptance which gives way to healing.

What I found to be total BS was the notion that "each day it gets better". It's just not true at first in my experience. For me, the first few days were absolutely fine. I felt like I was free to do whatever I wanted and the break-up was her loss. Then after a week, the finality and reality of it all hits you and only then can the real healing begin.

Buck up, you'll be fine.

 

[Aunty Dana**]

To the OP - I was in precisely this situation in my late teens. I dated a girl from 17-19, basically wasting the best years of high school, and when we broke up she immediately started dating some weird 22 year old that was known to predate younger chicks. I guess that's what she was into because they're married now and have a baby.

We tried being friends but it wasn't working for me so I had to cut all ties. It was very difficult but I stopped calling her and seeing her. I did whatever I could (drinking, hanging out with friends, etc) to be distracted. Eventually debilitating sadness gives way to cathartic hatred which gives way to acceptance which gives way to healing.

What I found to be total BS was the notion that "each day it gets better". It's just not true at first in my experience. For me, the first few days were absolutely fine. I felt like I was free to do whatever I wanted and the break-up was her loss. Then after a week, the finality and reality of it all hits you and only then can the real healing begin.

Buck up, you'll be fine.

 

[Bolshevik***]

at first i feel like the world is crashing down around me. then, to make myself feel better, i just think about all of the things i hated about her. afterwards, i try to think of how much better off i am now.

it usually doesn't work that well, but it's the best i've got.

 

[Satsui Ryu]

Yeah first thing is don't stalk. Second would be to realize the only thing that heals wounds is time. There is no way to speed up the healing process. Partying, women, whatever may help you at that moment, but you gotta come home to the empty bed eventually. Best thing to do is keep the impact to your life at a minimum and just wait for yourself to not really care anymore. After awhile it will happen.

 

[Kripto]

Lmao so true.

 

[Bolshevik***]

Lmao so true.

that's probably cleaned up a little bit. in the last picture, the girl would probably be doing guys two at a time.

 

[cooks1]

100% Foolproof Break-Up process:

1) Sever all contact with said chick. No phone, text, e-mail, nothing. You don't have to be a douche and de-friend her or shit like that. just hide her comments or whatever. Do not respond to phone calls or texts if she contacts you. For a minimum of 90 days. But even after that, you should only respond to contacts, not initiate them.

2) Develop a routine that has good habits. Good diet, exercise, plenty of sleep, etc.

3) Don't go out if you don't feel like it. You will feel like it soon enough if you are doing #2.

4) Revisit any old hobbies or activities that you have stopped doing.

 

[lolcat15]

look good
feel good
think good
try to be a better you

the next thing you know is you're the one breaking hearts of them sluts

 

[Rhood]

Pretend you're a munchkin and burn her pictures as if she was the wicked witch of the west.
Follow the yellow brick road and seek out the wizard for any further assistance.

 

[MUSTKILL]

100% Foolproof Break-Up process:

1) Sever all contact with said chick. No phone, text, e-mail, nothing. You don't have to be a douche and de-friend her or shit like that. just hide her comments or whatever. Do not respond to phone calls or texts if she contacts you. For a minimum of 90 days. But even after that, you should only respond to contacts, not initiate them.

2) Develop a routine that has good habits. Good diet, exercise, plenty of sleep, etc.

3) Don't go out if you don't feel like it. You will feel like it soon enough if you are doing #2.

4) Revisit any old hobbies or activities that you have stopped doing.

I agree with this 100%.
Nothing can be said to make you feel better, but you have to realize time is the only way things will get better.
Slowly get yourself back into the game. Once you start dressing better, looking better, working out, you'll feel the confidence grow.

About two years ago I was so depressed after a long term relationship, I contemplated doing some fucked up shit to myself. Now, I laugh at the silly shit that I worried about.

 

[Tankeray]

Step by step plan for your situation.

Step 1. Train UFC for at least 2 weeks.
Step 2. Drink beer the first saturday after your intense training UFC.
Step 3. Snort coke whilst drunk.
Step 4. Beat the living shit out of your 'friend' with coke rage and your new found UFC skills.
Step 5. Fuck her best friend and make pictures while doing so.
Step 6. Send her new boyfriend a get well soon card and include the pictures in it.
Step 7. Continue life being awesome


Optionally you can just skip to #7, but I def. recommend doing steps 2 and 5. And send us the pics

Steps need rage comix illustrations to be complete.

 

[djacobox372]

Make a mental list of everything you didn't like about here and focus your thoughts on those things.

 

[T Rollie]

You are pretty young. Is her mom even somewhat attractive? If so, perhaps you could devise a plan to seduce her. The knowledge that you railed her mom will help get you through the tough times, and you might appreciate an older woman.

 

[Bizarro]

Im sorry to read about your situation. I am going through a similar thing. She broke up with me, and it wasnt too long before she found a new guy. We all go to school together, so i get to see him bringing her lunch a lot. It stinks, and what your ex did to you was not nice at all. Time has been helping me move on, good luck. You will find a nice gf in the future.

 

[Pennisland]

First real break up was awful. It was during the few months of my senior year in high school and those months consisted of depressing music, 500 Days of Summer (never watched a movie daily in my life until this), being low key with family and all friends. Then it got a to a point I went up to my mom and told her I wasn't happy at the moment and was unable to go to school. I ended up being home in my room with no contact to the outside for 3 weeks before I pretty much had to buck up and go for my last couple weeks of high school. I still would think about it once or twice a week but eventually it became whatever. Time healed it imo

 

[stile0]

I broke up with my first serious long term relationship June of last year. We went out for 6 years. I haven't spoken with her since October except to say happy birthday.

Honestly I'm still feelings the effects of her being gone, but time really heals all wounds. I consider October our actual break up date since we were planning to reconcile, but didn't work out. The first 2-3 months are hell. From there, I got a little bit numb to everything. I may have a momentary lapse of weakness and feel sad, but otherwise things carry on as normal.

Some things you can do:
Don't talk to her anymore at all. It gets pretty easy after 3 weeks or so. Imagining beng friends with my ex and listening to her talk about her new man is something that keeps me away. Block her on Facebook, delete her number, and email.

Get rid of all the little memorabilia. All those gifts? Either throw them out or keep them in a box hidden away somewhere. Personally I deleted all our pictures, threw out all the little love notes and all the other little things that brought back painful memories.

Go to the gym and stay active. Hang out with friends and concentrate on things that make you happy.

When you're ready, start dating.

 

[Aunty Dana**]

I broke up with my first serious long term relationship June of last year. We went out for 6 years. I haven't spoken with her since October except to say happy birthday.

Honestly I'm still feelings the effects of her being gone, but time really heals all wounds. I consider October our actual break up date since we were planning to reconcile, but didn't work out. The first 2-3 months are hell. From there, I got a little bit numb to everything. I may have a momentary lapse of weakness and feel sad, but otherwise things carry on as normal.

Some things you can do:
Don't talk to her anymore at all. It gets pretty easy after 3 weeks or so. Imagining beng friends with my ex and listening to her talk about her new man is something that keeps me away. Block her on Facebook, delete her number, and email.

Get rid of all the little memorabilia. All those gifts? Either throw them out or keep them in a box hidden away somewhere. Personally I deleted all our pictures, threw out all the little love notes and all the other little things that brought back painful memories.

Go to the gym and stay active. Hang out with friends and concentrate on things that make you happy.

When you're ready, start dating.

This guy knows what's up but don't delete nudes.

 

[SamboPunch]

I just create a mental block. I boost my own confidence by telling myself the truth. She wasn't for me, and life goes on. I know I'm a good dude and I don't deserve that shit, so it's almost a relief in a way when a relationship ends because I know that I did everything a could and it just wasn't meant to be.. It was nice while it lasted but again, life goes on.

You still have all the things you enjoy, hobbies, sports, video games whatever it may be in the meantime, those things stay forever. Some day you'll find someone permanent who cares about you. You're still very young.

 

[Ablis89]

This guy knows what's up but don't delete nudes.

Never delete the nudes!

 

[The Special One]

1) Delete her contact info (number from phone, delete as a friend on facebook, twitter, whatever). You need to completely seperate yourself. Contacting her will not result in anything positive nor will reading her status updates or whatever. It's extremely hard to do, but its a necessary first step if you don't want this to drag out.

2) Exercise, eat well, get a hair cut, whatever. Just work on yourself for awhile. Take that trip you've been meaning to take. Get a new hobby or spend more time on your current ones. Immerse yourself in your job (if you like your job), etc..

3) When you're ready, start heading out again with your friends but don't put immediate pressure on yourself to find someone. Desperation is a stinky cologne especially in bars and clubs. Just focus on having fun with your friends and eventually you'll meet another girl and hopefully one that isn't shitty enough to hook up with an acquaintance of yours a week later.