Considering Voluntary Celibacy

But why do you act like bettering yourself, having fun life experiences, etc. are mutually exclusive?

You think guys who do all that don't get laid?
 
Pugilistic said:
I'm sure I'll get called an Incel or a MTGOW weirdo but I'm coming from a different place than those people. Well I'm not trying to be totally celibate because that would be ludicrous. But I realized how much of a waste of time and energy chasing pussy has been.

This conclusion comes from a combination of several reflections
  • I been there done that
  • Getting laid takes too much time and work and as a manlet I have to work extra hard
  • The net result of it is emotional emptiness
  • Chicks catch feelings and try to guilt-trip you
  • They also tend to be vain and uninteresting
  • My experiences and observations with relationships have left me disillusioned
  • That time and effort is better spent on learning something new, traveling, and making money.
[*]While it feels good, sex is one of those "I been there, done that" kind of things. I'm more interested in more extreme highs and novel experiences (for me surfing, sky-diving, drugs, traveling, etc), as well as working towards cultivating myself into a better person, whatever that may mean.

[*]My looks and game aren't good enough that I can approach and take a woman home within a reasonable time frame. It would take me a long time for me to convince a drunk chick at a bar to go home with me and it's never a guarantee. At this point in my life, that time is better spent on sleep.

[*]And honestly, unless I have a deep connection with the girl, I tend to find sex to be a pretty emotionally empty affair. I'm only doing it because of my physiological needs, and I feel bad about that. Physically pleasurable, but emotionally shitty. It makes me feel like I'm using women as a hole to fuck, and that is not the kind of person I want to be.

[*]I always try to be honest about my intentions. I never want to lie or mislead people, but some of these chicks catch feelings and they try to make me feel like a shitty person for being honest about not wanting anything serious than the occasional booty call. And it works. I do feel like an asshole even though I was honest from the get-go.

[*]My slew of negative experiences with dating and relationships has disillusioned me from dating or finding a woman I connect with. I don't want to villainize women since I know it's not just them. My last relationship really put the nail in the coffin for my wanting a serious relationship. I've seen so many people around me cheat, saw so many toxic relationships, and I encountered more crazy chicks than I'd like. When my friends complain about the issues they have with their girlfriends, I can't help but think, 'I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that shit.'

[*]I live in a city, in many people's opinions, which has one of the highest ratio of hot chicks per capita. But I think it also comes with the price of extreme vanity and general brain-deadness (that even a word?). Everybody is obsessed with how they look. They also have their heads buried in their phones all the time. This is a trait prevalent across the board but women in their 20s and early 30s are the most egregious offenders. They are physically attractive but they are also more concerned with how their selfies look on instagram than anything else. Women complain about how they're objectified but honestly they do it to themselves. A lot of these people tie their sense of worth with how good they look. Some of these chicks might as well be walking, talking sex-dolls. They look plastic and are just as brain-dead.

[*]The probability of me meeting a woman who I can be really interested in seems pretty low. I have met incredible women before, but they are extremely rare. When people ask me why I don't have a girlfriend, a part of me wants to say, "I haven't met a woman who's an actual human being."

I used to think monks are stupid for denying their nature but I think they have a point.

Becoming celibate seems like a clear cut way to clear out a lot of this bullshit so I can focus entirely on bettering myself and have deeper connections with the people without sex getting in the way. I have a lot of female friends now but I also have lost potential friendships in the past because I tried too hard to bang. I can't objectify women if I don't see them as sexually viable candidates in the first place.

As the old adage goes, "Never say never." Perhaps someday I will meet somebody who will blow my socks off with how amazing she is and I will take back everything I say here. But until then, I'm not giving much thought to meeting chicks.

I realize I can't be 100% celibate because physical needs are a reality. If I can get laid without effort, I will probably go through with it. Wanking only does so much and I get horny quite often due to my lifestyle. I rarely drink, eat healthy, sleep earlier, and I work out which ironically makes me hornier. Wish there was a way to subdue this part of me in a healthy way.

Thoughts on voluntary celibacy?
Tips on reducing horniness welcome.
In before jokes about my celibacy being "voluntary" or me being gay.
Click to expand...

How old are you? That might answer some questions. If you're mid 40's and thinking this, that's not that odd, but if you're in your 20's it is.
 
Friends with benefits is the way to go seems like f buddies last longer than relationships these days.
 
Pugilistic said:
I'm sure I'll get called an Incel or a MTGOW weirdo but I'm coming from a different place than those people. Well I'm not trying to be totally celibate because that would be ludicrous. But I realized how much of a waste of time and energy chasing pussy has been.

This conclusion comes from a combination of several reflections
  • I been there done that
  • Getting laid takes too much time and work and as a manlet I have to work extra hard
  • The net result of it is emotional emptiness
  • Chicks catch feelings and try to guilt-trip you
  • They also tend to be vain and uninteresting
  • My experiences and observations with relationships have left me disillusioned
  • That time and effort is better spent on learning something new, traveling, and making money.
[*]While it feels good, sex is one of those "I been there, done that" kind of things. I'm more interested in more extreme highs and novel experiences (for me surfing, sky-diving, drugs, traveling, etc), as well as working towards cultivating myself into a better person, whatever that may mean.

[*]My looks and game aren't good enough that I can approach and take a woman home within a reasonable time frame. It would take me a long time for me to convince a drunk chick at a bar to go home with me and it's never a guarantee. At this point in my life, that time is better spent on sleep.

[*]And honestly, unless I have a deep connection with the girl, I tend to find sex to be a pretty emotionally empty affair. I'm only doing it because of my physiological needs, and I feel bad about that. Physically pleasurable, but emotionally shitty. It makes me feel like I'm using women as a hole to fuck, and that is not the kind of person I want to be.

[*]I always try to be honest about my intentions. I never want to lie or mislead people, but some of these chicks catch feelings and they try to make me feel like a shitty person for being honest about not wanting anything serious than the occasional booty call. And it works. I do feel like an asshole even though I was honest from the get-go.

[*]My slew of negative experiences with dating and relationships has disillusioned me from dating or finding a woman I connect with. I don't want to villainize women since I know it's not just them. My last relationship really put the nail in the coffin for my wanting a serious relationship. I've seen so many people around me cheat, saw so many toxic relationships, and I encountered more crazy chicks than I'd like. When my friends complain about the issues they have with their girlfriends, I can't help but think, 'I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that shit.'

[*]I live in a city, in many people's opinions, which has one of the highest ratio of hot chicks per capita. But I think it also comes with the price of extreme vanity and general brain-deadness (that even a word?). Everybody is obsessed with how they look. They also have their heads buried in their phones all the time. This is a trait prevalent across the board but women in their 20s and early 30s are the most egregious offenders. They are physically attractive but they are also more concerned with how their selfies look on instagram than anything else. Women complain about how they're objectified but honestly they do it to themselves. A lot of these people tie their sense of worth with how good they look. Some of these chicks might as well be walking, talking sex-dolls. They look plastic and are just as brain-dead.

[*]The probability of me meeting a woman who I can be really interested in seems pretty low. I have met incredible women before, but they are extremely rare. When people ask me why I don't have a girlfriend, a part of me wants to say, "I haven't met a woman who's an actual human being."

I used to think monks are stupid for denying their nature but I think they have a point.

Becoming celibate seems like a clear cut way to clear out a lot of this bullshit so I can focus entirely on bettering myself and have deeper connections with the people without sex getting in the way. I have a lot of female friends now but I also have lost potential friendships in the past because I tried too hard to bang. I can't objectify women if I don't see them as sexually viable candidates in the first place.

As the old adage goes, "Never say never." Perhaps someday I will meet somebody who will blow my socks off with how amazing she is and I will take back everything I say here. But until then, I'm not giving much thought to meeting chicks.

I realize I can't be 100% celibate because physical needs are a reality. If I can get laid without effort, I will probably go through with it. Wanking only does so much and I get horny quite often due to my lifestyle. I rarely drink, eat healthy, sleep earlier, and I work out which ironically makes me hornier. Wish there was a way to subdue this part of me in a healthy way.

Thoughts on voluntary celibacy?
Tips on reducing horniness welcome.
In before jokes about my celibacy being "voluntary" or me being gay.
Click to expand...

You'll do nuttin
 
Alphaboy said:
But why do you act like bettering yourself, having fun life experiences, etc. are mutually exclusive?

You think guys who do all that don't get laid?
Click to expand...

Sure I'm sure there are guys who can do all of it but I haven't found the balance. Maybe someday I will. I swung way too hard on the "trying to bang everything in sight" side of things and now I'm swinging the other way. I'll find a balance someday and swing both ways.
That pun was totally intended

Clear Winner said:
How old are you? That might answer some questions. If you're mid 40's and thinking this, that's not that odd, but if you're in your 20's it is.
Click to expand...

32. Could be an age thing. Sort of in a weird middle stage of not being as interested in pussy as before but I still don't want to settle down.

blaseblah said:
You'll do nuttin
Click to expand...
So I'll be nuttin' amirite?
 
Don't give in to the depression bro, stay out there getting after it
 
Women are def a waste of time, but idk if swearing off sex is the answer.
 
Sounds like it though, wierd move for a young healthy guy to withdraw from the world of dating bc of frustration.

Do you bro, be happy
 
Let me guess, Pugilistic is having more woman trouble? You don’t say.

Maybe you should go celibate for a short time so you can figure some shit out. Because you have lots and lots of problems with women. And this is when you just meet them which should be the smoothest part. That’s when everyone is on their best behavior.

And I know what you’re thinking. “The women I meet are all crazy. It’s not me.” It if a woman was complaining that all the men she meets are dirtbags, wouldn’t you assume she was just attracted to dirtbags and that’s why?
 
Pugilistic said:
Semen retention? lol
As for escorts, if I was rich it seems like a logical path to take. I'm poor though
Click to expand...

Are you in 20s or your 30s or older? What are south korean women like. I met a girl from there once she said its like a beehive that if you differ from the norm you will be shunned. Now i dont know if beehivrs operate that way but most living things seem to.
 
bad mojo said:
Somehow I stumbled upon semen retention and decided to give it a try. No masturbation, pelvic exercises and stuff.
Click to expand...

If I may be so direct, what are these "pelvic exercises and stuff?" Kegels?

Caveat said:
Left or right hand experience?
Click to expand...

The first hand that touched your wee-wee. Ask your mom about it cuz babies don't retain that memory properly.
 
Pugilistic said:
I'm sure I'll get called an Incel or a MTGOW weirdo but I'm coming from a different place than those people. Well I'm not trying to be totally celibate because that would be ludicrous. But I realized how much of a waste of time and energy chasing pussy has been.

This conclusion comes from a combination of several reflections
  • I been there done that
  • Getting laid takes too much time and work and as a manlet I have to work extra hard
  • The net result of it is emotional emptiness
  • Chicks catch feelings and try to guilt-trip you
  • They also tend to be vain and uninteresting
  • My experiences and observations with relationships have left me disillusioned
  • That time and effort is better spent on learning something new, traveling, and making money.
[*]While it feels good, sex is one of those "I been there, done that" kind of things. I'm more interested in more extreme highs and novel experiences (for me surfing, sky-diving, drugs, traveling, etc), as well as working towards cultivating myself into a better person, whatever that may mean.

[*]My looks and game aren't good enough that I can approach and take a woman home within a reasonable time frame. It would take me a long time for me to convince a drunk chick at a bar to go home with me and it's never a guarantee. At this point in my life, that time is better spent on sleep.

[*]And honestly, unless I have a deep connection with the girl, I tend to find sex to be a pretty emotionally empty affair. I'm only doing it because of my physiological needs, and I feel bad about that. Physically pleasurable, but emotionally shitty. It makes me feel like I'm using women as a hole to fuck, and that is not the kind of person I want to be.

[*]I always try to be honest about my intentions. I never want to lie or mislead people, but some of these chicks catch feelings and they try to make me feel like a shitty person for being honest about not wanting anything serious than the occasional booty call. And it works. I do feel like an asshole even though I was honest from the get-go.

[*]My slew of negative experiences with dating and relationships has disillusioned me from dating or finding a woman I connect with. I don't want to villainize women since I know it's not just them. My last relationship really put the nail in the coffin for my wanting a serious relationship. I've seen so many people around me cheat, saw so many toxic relationships, and I encountered more crazy chicks than I'd like. When my friends complain about the issues they have with their girlfriends, I can't help but think, 'I'm so glad I don't have to deal with that shit.'

[*]I live in a city, in many people's opinions, which has one of the highest ratio of hot chicks per capita. But I think it also comes with the price of extreme vanity and general brain-deadness (that even a word?). Everybody is obsessed with how they look. They also have their heads buried in their phones all the time. This is a trait prevalent across the board but women in their 20s and early 30s are the most egregious offenders. They are physically attractive but they are also more concerned with how their selfies look on instagram than anything else. Women complain about how they're objectified but honestly they do it to themselves. A lot of these people tie their sense of worth with how good they look. Some of these chicks might as well be walking, talking sex-dolls. They look plastic and are just as brain-dead.

[*]The probability of me meeting a woman who I can be really interested in seems pretty low. I have met incredible women before, but they are extremely rare. When people ask me why I don't have a girlfriend, a part of me wants to say, "I haven't met a woman who's an actual human being."

I used to think monks are stupid for denying their nature but I think they have a point.

Becoming celibate seems like a clear cut way to clear out a lot of this bullshit so I can focus entirely on bettering myself and have deeper connections with the people without sex getting in the way. I have a lot of female friends now but I also have lost potential friendships in the past because I tried too hard to bang. I can't objectify women if I don't see them as sexually viable candidates in the first place.

As the old adage goes, "Never say never." Perhaps someday I will meet somebody who will blow my socks off with how amazing she is and I will take back everything I say here. But until then, I'm not giving much thought to meeting chicks.

I realize I can't be 100% celibate because physical needs are a reality. If I can get laid without effort, I will probably go through with it. Wanking only does so much and I get horny quite often due to my lifestyle. I rarely drink, eat healthy, sleep earlier, and I work out which ironically makes me hornier. Wish there was a way to subdue this part of me in a healthy way.

Thoughts on voluntary celibacy?
Tips on reducing horniness welcome.
In before jokes about my celibacy being "voluntary" or me being gay.
Click to expand...
This is a great post. I can relate with with it in many levels.

I'm ugly (was told that to my face more than once), I dislike the annoying mating ritual of flirting, it takes too much time, I have little success - I usually score three or four women per year. Generally ugly like myself, since above average women are even more of a hassle to approach. As long as they have an ass on them, and aren't prudes, who cares if they are ugly? I just want to get my dick wet for a night. I don't care about emotions during sex, it's all about physical sensations. Just like you, I always tell them beforehand that I'm interested in sex only.

I think I'm beggining to care less and less about my success in picking up women. That Tinder match didn't answer my message? Whatever. That other chick cancelled the date? Meh. Just rub one off and go to sleep. On to the next Tinder match! ... or maybe not. What a stupid excercise it is to swipe left and right.

Then again, I'm pushing 34 and probably my T isn't what it used to be. Maybe that's the actual reason of my seemingly waning interest in the dating scene.

Also, I can't deny I feel a bit insecure about what may happen if I wind up old and lonely.
 
Horse Style said:
There is no guy out there, that has actually had sex, who has genuinely thought of sex as "been there, done that."

Try selling your horseshit somewhere else, TS
Click to expand...
I assume he means chasing it or making it a priority and will just take it whenever it comes to him. I've thought that about juggling multiple chicks or banging randos. Women generally respond better to someone with a take it or leave it attitude anyway.

If he is talking about refusing sex entirely, then yeah, that's a little gayish.
 
babycart said:
If I may be so direct, what are these "pelvic exercises and stuff?" Kegels?
Click to expand...
Kegels are great, and very efficient. Combined with some practices during sex, they yield great results. Without going into graphic details here, you can read basics at https://www.nateliason.com/blog/multiple-orgasms-men
There are lot of resources on the net that you may find and try this whole thing for yourself.
 
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