Best Simpsons' Line (Thread #2):

Homer is rolling on the floor being attacked by the evil Krusty doll.

"MARGE THE DOLL IS TRYING TO KILL ME AND THE TOASTER HAS BEIN LAUGHING AT ME!"
 
And the best short film

Barney Gumble "Dont cry for me, I'm already dead"
 
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Smokey the Bear: Only who can prevent forest fires?
*Bart presses "you" button*
Smokey the Bear: You pressed "you", referring to me. That is incorrect. The correct answer is "you".


Jane: A new and better life awaits you on our distant home planet, Blisstonia.
Homer: [gets given a leaflet] Hmm. Makes Sense.
Jane: We're having a free get-acquainted session at our resort this weekend.
Homer: How much is this free resort weekend?
Glen: It's free.
Homer: And when is this weekend?
Glen: It's this weekend.
Homer: Uh-huh. And how much does it cost?
Glen: Um, it's free.
Homer: I see. And when is it?
Glen: It's this weekend.
Homer: And what are you charging for this free weekend?
Bart: Come on, Dad. The team's arriving.
Homer: [being dragged away by Bart] It's free, right?


Troy McClure: Hi, I'm Troy McClure. You may remember me from such educational films as "Two Minus Three Equals Negative Fun" and "Firecrackers: The Silent Killer".


[Superintendant Chalmers sees Principal Skinner's kitchen on fire]
Superintendant Chalmers: Good Lord, what is happening in there?
Principal Skinner: The Aurora Borealis?
Superintendant Chalmers: The Aurora Borealis? At this time of year? At this time of day? In this part of the country? Localized entirely within your kitchen?
Principal Skinner: Yes.
Superintendant Chalmers: May I see it?
Principal Skinner: No.


Homer: When I started this clown thing, I thought it would be nothing but glory. You know, the glory of being a clown. I tell you, it's hard, tiring work. But when I see the smiles on their little faces, I just know they're getting ready to jab me with something.


Krusty's Accountant: Let me get this straight. You took all the money you made franchising your name and bet it *against* the Harlem Globetrotters?
Krusty the Clown: [miserable] Oh, I thought the Generals were due!
[watches the game on TV]
Krusty the Clown: He's spinning the ball on his finger! Just take it! Take it!
[the Globetrotters score]
Krusty the Clown: That game was fixed! They were using a freakin' ladder, for God's sake!


Barney: I'm Barney Gumble, and I'm an alcoholic.
Lisa: Mr Gumble, this is a girl scout meeting.
Barney: Is it? Or is it that you girls can't admit that you have a problem?
 
Otto: "You know how some people are chocoholics ? Well I'm an alcoholic."
 
There's no one best line as hundreds could qualify. One line\scene I've always liked is at the end of an episode that guest starred many celebrities to support a Krusty the clown comeback everyone ends up at moes. Someone, I believe Homer preposes a toast and says something along the lines of "Here's to Krusty the Clown, the greatest entertainer of all time...expect for that guy" and points to Johny Carson who's juggling something riduculus, while riding a hampster wheel, playing a musicial instrument, etc. I thought that was classy and hilarious.
 
My Big Three:

1)

Flanders, "It's like I'm wearing nothing at all!"

Homer, "Stupid sexy Flanders!"

2)

Bart, "You're Gay for Moleman!"

Lisa, "No, you're Gay for Moleman!"

Moleman(hangs his head)"Oh, no one's Gay for Moleman!"

3)

Bart, "I want the truth!"

Sideshow Bob, "You can't handle the truth! No truth handler you! Bah! I deride your truth-handling abilities!"
 
"Yvan eht nioj" episode is classic

For Ralph wiggum fans the song "Ralph wiggum" by the bloodhound gang is a compilation of his quotes and is completely awesome.
 
J Danger said:
"Yvan eht nioj" episode is classic.
Click to expand...

QFT !

Bart: Who are you?
L. T. Smash: Oh, you'll find out, in due time.
Bart: Well, it says here your name is L. T. Smash.
L. T. Smash: The time has come. I'm L. T. Smash.
 
Bob: Oh Come now! You wanted to be Krusty's sidekick since you were five! What
about the buffoon lessons, the four years at clown college.

Cecil: I'll thank you not to refer to Princeton that way.
 
Class: Lisa likes Nelson!
Milhouse: She does not!
Class: Milhouse likes Lisa!
Janey: He does not!
Class: Janey likes Milhouse!
Uter: She does not!
Class: Uter likes Milhouse!
Teacher: NOBODY LIKES MILHOUSE!
 
Remember when he ate my goldfish, and you lied and said I never had any goldfish?! Then why did I have the bowl, Bart? Why did I have the bowl?
 
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*Homer eats a ball of Focusin disguised as taffy*
Todd: Does Mr. Simpson have a demon daddy?
Ned: It's looks like it, go get daddy's exorcism tongs
Rod & Todd: YAAYYYYY!!!!
 
Homer as king Solomon:
"The pie shall be cut in two, and each man shall receive ... death. I'll eat the pie."
 
I've always liked Johnny Tightlips
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