Best Simpsons' Line (Thread #2):

INeedARemedy said:
When Maggie is born

Homer: It's a boy... and what a boy!!
Dr Hibbert: "Homer that's the umbilical cord, it's a girl"
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I said this same line in the delivery room when my son was born...

No one got the joke... :mad:

The world needs more Sherdoggers in medicine D@mnit!
 
Comic book guy
"I must hurry back to my comic book store, where I dispense the insults rather than absorb them"
 
[Flanders, a zombie, approaches Homer]Ned Flanders: Hey, Simpson. I'm feeling a might peckish. Mind if I chew your ear?
[Homer kills Flanders by blasting his head apart with a shotgun]
Bart: Dad! You killed the zombie Flanders.
Homer: He was a zombie?
 
kuromusha said:
When I first saw this scene, I completely lost my shit.
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776.gif


mind is still blown. nvr noticed "boaking" & now holy crap...
 
Homer: Public transportation is for jerks and lesbians.

It was just so random and out of left field. I remember laughing my ass off when I first heard it. Its been my sig for years now.
 
Lisa: Dad, we did something very bad!
Homer: Did you wreck the car?
Bart: No.
Homer: Did you raise the dead?
Lisa: Yes!
Homer: But the car's okay?
Lisa and Bart: Uh-huh.
Homer: All right then.
 
Fortune-teller: I've been waiting for you, Lisa.
Lisa: [gasps] How did you know my name?
Fortune-teller: Your nametag. Would you like to know your future?
Lisa: Heh, sorry, I don't believe in fortune telling. I should go.
Fortune-teller: What's your hurry? Bart and Maggie and Marge are at the joust, and Homer is heckling the puppet show.
Lisa: [gasps] Wow, you can see into the...present.
 


A friend of mine dropped a reference to ruining a perfectly good jacket in a meeting, and without missing a beat our director of sales responded 'correction, two perfectly good jackets'. The Simpsons is so wonderfully pervasive.
 
Bay Area said:
Homer: Larry, there's only one sure way to make him realize how much he loves you and that is a phony kidnapping.

Larry Burns: Yeah, right. I don't know, maybe I should just leave town.

Homer: Phony kidnapping.

Larry: No, I know what I gotta do.
I gotta clean up my act.
No more joking around all the time.
No more slacking off at work.
And most important, no more booze! I know I can do it!

Mr. Burns reads letter: "Your son has been kidnapped."
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hahaha nice

 
When Homer and Flanders are driving through the snow in a car with a cut off piece of roof as a plow:

Flanders: I'm all for finding the kids but did you have to cut my roof off?

Homer: my car, your roof. It's only fair.

Flanders: this is my car!

Homer: well fine if you wanna start keeping a tally of everything.

Flanders: hey whatever happened to the plow from your old snowplow business?

Homer: i never had a snowplow business.

Flanders: sure you did, you're wearing the jacket right now

Homer: i think i know my own life. (Starts singing the mr. plow song)
 
Jballer said:
When Homer and Flanders are driving through the snow in a car with a cut off piece of roof as a plow:

Flanders: I'm all for finding the kids but did you have to cut my roof off?

Homer: my car, your roof. It's only fair.

Flanders: this is my car!

Homer: well fine if you wanna start keeping a tally of everything.

Flanders: hey whatever happened to the plow from your old snowplow business?

Homer: i never had a snowplow business.

Flanders: sure you did, you're wearing the jacket right now

Homer: i think i know my own life. (Starts singing the mr. plow song)
Click to expand...

Rofl
 
Homer: Marge, I've been thinking. What if instead of donating one of my old worn out kidneys; I give Grampa that artificial kidney I invented?

Marge: Oh, Homer, that was just a beer can with a whistle glued to it.
 
[during a video will from Great-Aunt Gladys]
Great-Aunt Gladys: Now, let's get down to business...
Lionel Hutz: [dubbed in] To my executor, Lionel Hutz, I leave $50,000.
Marge: Mr. Hutz!
Lionel Hutz: You'd be surprised how often that works. You really would.

And of course the timeless-That's a paddlin.", never gets old.
 
Lisa: Aunt Selma, this may be presumptuous, but have you ever considered artificial insemination?
Homer: Boy, I don't know. You'd have to be pretty desperate to make it with a robot.
[Marge whispers something in his ear]
Homer: I knew that
 
Homer: Moe I have this friend named Joey joe joe Shabadoo
Moe: Homer that's the worst name I've ever heard
( other guy at the bar runs out crying)
Barney: Come back Joey Joe Joe!!
 
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