Frequently Asked Questions on the Bench and Curl
"What is the most effective way of bench pressing? Should I be doing "PL style" or flat bench?"
Well, ultimately the correct answer is "whichever way will let you get your swole on the most".
But there are a few other factors to consider. First, in scientific research on Bros, almost 97% of them agreed with the statement "Dude, those powerlifting dudes, man, I don't know, bro... they mad strong and all, but they lifting their chests up and shit, I don't know, seems like cheating bro, and besides, bro, they fat". So if you are considering impressing your bros, you should probably use flat bench.
However, another issue is the effect it will have on your polo shirt. If the bench is dirty, or your shirt is white, then flat bench may make your shirt dirty. If you just came to bench to get your swole on before heading to the bar (which we can assume is the case), then PL-style bench, where most of your torso will be off the bench, may be preferable.
"What rep range should I work in?"
Typically, very, very high reps. Start off with 5x12 or something like that, then do 21s and drop sets and the like. Remember, these give you a wicked pump, and your Bros will give you mad respect. Remember that you don't need to go down all the way, and you can use your spotter as much as you want. Bros don't care about "ROM" and "form" and other fat powerlifter stuff like that- they want to see really heavy weight going up and down a little bit a whole bucnh of times.
"What are the best assistance exercises for bench"?
The best exercises are probably decline bench and tricep brodowns. But before you even consider brodowns, make sure you can move the whole heavy stack. Nothing looks less impressive than just moving, say, half the stack. And don't let other exercises take time away from the bench. That is where the real work gets done.
"How should I progress my bench? Do you recommend a regular weekly or monthly progressing, or some sort of "waving" approach?"
Dude, I don't even know what you are talking about. High reps. Drop sets. 21s. Swole on. That's pretty much it. It's not rocket surgery.
"I've heard it said that neither the bench or the curl are very functional. What does that mean? Is it true?"
Well, this is some pretty complicated lifting science, and it's not really necessary to understand it. But "functional" basically means that you do it on one of those inflatable balls or a wobbly board. So, yes, strictly speaking bench and curl aren't very functional, because you bench on a bench and you curl either standing up or sometimes seated, or on one knee. Now normally that doesn't matter, because what matters is getting your pump on, and also getting the respect of your Bros. But every now and then you get one of those CrossFit girls in a gym, and they are really into functional exercises. So you may want to make bench and curl more functional in order to bang one of them. In this case, what you can do is curl while seated on one of those balls, or possibly rest your feet one one while benching. Obviously, your Bros may give you some shit, but good Bros will understand that you are doing it for the girl.
"What are the most important aspects of curl technique?"
The curl is a very technical lift which can take a long time to master, but here are a few pointers. First, be sure to be wearing a sleeveless shirt so people can really see your gunz. Second, remember- pale skin just doesn't bring about your peaks, so tan (either from a sunbed or spray-on) is essential. Grunting really loud while curling can be helpful, and also remember, when you've finished your set, just drop the dumbbells and scream "YES!!!!". If your Bros are around, it can be helpful to chest-bump each other.
"I've heard that curling with a straight bar, or maxing out a curl, can cause injuries? Is that true?"
No, it's not true. It's a dirty, filthy lie. Actually, nothing promotes health and well-being more than heavy curling. There are actual, recorded cases of people with damaged ligaments, breakages and even actual dead people who were found to have been restored to full health and aliveness as a result of maxing out a curl with a straight bar.
This particularly pernicious rumour actually dates back to the Cold War. Evil Soviet scientists tried to win the war by making their soldiers and spies stronger than Americans by developing something called "Olympic Weightlifting". But that's basically stupid- I mean, you just put the bar over your head. How are you going to get massive pythons like that? You aren't. So the American soldiers, who were all benching and curling, just got stronger and stronger while the Soviets just wore those funny leotards and threw bars above their heads. Before you knew it, the Soviet Union was falling apart. In a last desperate attempt to save their side, the spies of the KGB started spreading vicious and foul rumours that the bench and curl, the basis of America's military might (and indeed entire culture) actually caused injuries. Of course, while it was too late to arrest the decline of the Soviet Union, the damage to the reputation of the curl was done.
More FAQs to follows
