Wow, your school sounds really expensive to me. I am 35 and have children too, so I feel you there. I pay $40 per month at an affiliate school, but I do pay the head black belt $15 to $30 to test for my stripes/belts (we have a clear curriculum that must be mastered before promotions, in addition to a rolling test before the next belt showing you can actually pull off the curriculum while live rolling). I know that the money basically goes into the black belt's pocket, but given the low monthly cost for training, I don't begrudge him the extra cash. Particularly where there is a set curriculum, I do not feel pressured. Either I know the techniques and am ready to test, or I don't. Either way, no worries. I can also plan ahead and save up.
Your situation is obviously different. To answer your original question, you are not an ass. The problem with cost, though, is that your instructor will continue to charge that amount so long as people are willing to pay it. If it were me, I would try to find a different school. If that is not an option, then your choices become limited. You might try talking to your instructor (if you have a good relationship with him) and discuss that cost is an issue for you; maybe he would give you a reduced rate. If he is not approachable like that, then as I see it, you either pay up or quit. While you can languish for a while as a white belt, I agree with the above posts which suggest that is a bad idea. You are only inviting a poor outcome. Besides, I would rather deal with the problem up front in a head-on, decisive fashion than in a passive-aggressive way.
