THIS IS GNN!!!!!!!!
The 2017 POTWR election is well underway and it has already proven to be quite the ride.
Of course, due to the GNN vow of silence for the first part of the campaign, many have been asking the obvious question:
“Without GNN to tell me how to think, what the hell am I, well, supposed to think?!?!?!?!?!?!?!!??”
And that is a fair question indeed.
But don’t despair, GNN is back to ensure the independent, educated, and worldly, know what to say and when to say it when dealing with the Palis/Trump inspired Deplorabots they will encounter throughout this campaign.
THE VOTERS
That is what this campaign is all about. And if we can’t succeed in providing an objective message to all voters, we can at least find a way to break these voters down into distinct blocks. And while these block may or may not be at all useful in predicting electoral results, they will most certainly help GNN in its marketing to a divided and distrustful public.
So, who are our voters.
Deplorabots
Hardly needing any introduction, you know who you are. Tribalism, suspension of disbelief, imperviousness (OK that's like not a word) to cognitive dissonance, are the hallmarks of this demographic. A combination of angry white male high school drop outs, internet trolls, and perpetrators of vehicular homicide, we have tried to jam as many sub groups in here as possible to shame them into changing their behavior (including libertarians, toe the line tribal republicans, and CT freaks who somehow think Trump represents them). We know this won’t work but it’s great for ratings.
If you think voting for a billionaire fraudster who is deregulating wall street, cutting taxes for the 1%, and stripping away the social safety net equals rebellion because he says mean things about Muslim, Mexicans, and Mitch McConnel, then you belong squarely in this trailer park of a voting demographic.
WTF Republicans
While this is a somewhat of a broad group, when in doubt, we at GNN have grouped voters with the Deplorabots. Because let’s face it, you are either “with her or against her”, umm oops we mean, “with us or against us”, doh. In any event, this group includes disillusioned POWS to real conservatives that don’t have economic amnesia when it comes the history of trade advocacy. However, it also includes CT’ers that believe in the standard libertarian monetary / MIT CT theory of the world but are still NOT conned by the “Alex Jones” type personality of teh big daddy Drumpf. At its core, this group is made up of people Democrats once thought were evil but now think are totally “stand up guys”.
Berniebrobots
Again, you dudes know who you are. Like the Deplorabots, these voters are so disenfranchised with the system, that they would like to see it all come down. Unlike the Deplorabots, they are much less likely to support a candidate who will do the exact opposite. While not having an economic clue (one of the current Berniebrobot candidates thinks the US dollar is an oil denominated currency in the same way gold standard currencies once were), they have correctly identified some real issues in the US political and economic sphere. They have properly called out middle and lower-class America incomes stagnation and the corruption in modern finance. However, their solutions (economic nationalism and massive changes to tax/spending) are either outright wrong or too much of the right idea.
In addition, GNN needs to ensure it has wealthy corporate sponsors to pay for commercials and socialism is not good for dat shit. As we have endeavored to pack as much of the right into the extreme “Deplorabot” bucket as we can, we have also striven to restrict the Berniebrobots to the tiny fringe they deserve to be. As such we have, in a self-serving manner, skimmed as many votes as possible from the Berniebrobots and placed them into the next significant demographic (Sanity - see following group).
Sanity
Yes, this group has some remarkable notches on its belt. It selected the only candidate who could possibly lose to an orange toupee’d reality star pussy grabber in chief, managed to alienate the majority of the group it claimed to represent by calling its members racist, sexist, and somehow privileged, and while acting as the true defender of the underclass, somehow got roped into being the sole representative of capitalist globalization.
Nevertheless, this is group is, however implausibly, where the last remnants of relative sanity reside. They have accepted that Marxist economic fairy tales don’t work and that economies have to create wealth through markets and trade before they can use it to help the less fortunate. They have not resorted to using identify politics to get voters to forget about their interests (although they are not above calling everyone that disagrees with them a Nazis, which of course is fair play).
Unreliable
This group is a fringe, but in an era where demographic segments are closely matched (see our analysis that follows), they could be the real “kingmakers”. This group includes voters that chose a “non-deplorable” in the first round of the 2016 election only to switch to Palis in the second round, just to be part of a winning bandwagon. It also includes new posters that really belong in the Sports Bar or the OT. Look for them to jump on whatever train has the most momentum. This group should favor a Deplorabot candidate, but it’s possible that any candidate with momentum will attract them like a toddler to a shiny object.
Now that GNN has artfully created the pigeon holes that GNN intends throw everyone of you lemmings, errr consumers, errr voters, into,... Stay tuned for Part 2 of this GNN in depth analysis, where we put some real numerical meat on all this nonsense!!!!!
This is unbiased Gandhi News Network Political Correspondent, Gandhi, signing off!!!