I rather feel a big part of growing up and taking responsibility for ones own life is perhaps not always doing 'what is expected'. This may be gender specific according to the culture and times one lives in, like you say, but essentially it's about individuation. You are not born a man-slave are you? You have choice. You have wiggle room to negotiate.
Especially in this day and age where gender roles and traditional family values is 'breaking down' we have opportunity like never before to shape our own life and destiny, irregardless of old stereotypes. Why - given such liberty and privilege - would you ever kowtow to expectations that are at odds with who you are or what you need, to become the man you want to be?
"Individuation is the process by which an individual becomes distinct. ... The word individual is a good clue to the meaning of individuation, which is how a being becomes an independent, separate entity. This usually refers to a psychological process described by Carl Jung."
