Nutritional Sodomy

[immovablestone]

5/7 - The day of doom


Training: Run.


Breakfast:

Breakfast wrap from a local mom-and-pop, fresh ingredients. 3 eggs, american and cheddar cheeses, onions, peppers, mushrooms, and sausage inside.


Lunch:

Company provided, catered by a local deli, had half a huge club sandwich and half a ham and pastrami sandwich.

Then I had the aforementioned chocolate mousse cake, which was a huge mistake. I got a splitting headache, my joints started to hurt, and my jaw tightened up, it was an entirely unpleasant experience. This lasted for a couple hours until we started drinking.

Had 3 bottled beers at the office, which cut the edge off the reaction to the mousse cake.


Dinner:

I didn't want to eat after that lunch, so I just grabbed a bottle of fine belgian beer and gnawed on some beef jerky, which relieved the symptoms of the afternoon sugar catastrophe completely.

 

[immovablestone]

5/8


Breakfast (8am):

~1C full fat greek yogurt
~1C unsweetened vanilla almond milk
1 scoop isopure vanilla whey isolate
1 dash cinnamon
1 dribble vanilla extract

Had no banana's.

~4g carlsons fish oil


Training: JJJ, rough class, practicing uchi-mata and others with a guy 70+lbs heavier than you is a hell of a workout.


Lunch (3pm):

Out to lunch up at the GF's place. 1 plate unbreaded buffalo wings and 3 white ales from a nice micro-brewery. I also at the last few bites of her rather tasty veggie sand-which.


Dinner (~9pm):

Steak tips and fettuccine alfredo from a nice italian joint with some friends. 2 decent ales.

Back at a friends place afterward, for dessert, I had a delicious trappist beer, and discovered my love of the malt flavor.



5/9


Training: none, had to drive home after breakfast and run errands most of the day, ugh.


Breakfast:

Southwestern omelet (salsa, chili, sour cream) with a side of home-made sausage from my favorite mom-and-pop joint in my home town (I'm sick of all this traveling). Half a grilled blueberry muffin.


Lunch:

Corned beef reuben sandwich and a handful of sweet potato fries. 2 Tenpenny drafts.


Dinner:

Beef Jerky and a large handful of cashews, and a ton of water.

 

[immovablestone]

5/10

Training: Run.


Breakfast:

~1C 2% fat greek yogurt
~1C unsweetened vanilla almond milk
1 scoop vanilla whey isolate
1 raw pastured egg
1 dash cinnamon
1 squirt vanilla extract

~4g carlsons fish oil

1 low carb monster at the office


Lunch:

4 pastured eggs
1 oz raw goats milk cheddar
1 dash montreal
~2C steamed organic broccoli

Eggs cooked in ~1 tablespoon organic grass fed ghee and covered in ~3 tablespoons organic salsa.


Dinner:

Burger Salad
1/4lb grass fed beef patty, pan fried, covered in 1oz grated raw milk amish cheddar.
1 large handful fresh spinach
3 small campari tomatos, quartered
5-6 macadamia nuts
5-6 dried strawberries

 

[immovablestone]

5/11

Breakfast:

4 pastured eggs
1 oz raw goats milk cheddar
1 dash montreal
1 banana

Eggs cooked in ~1 tablespoon organic grass fed ghee and covered in ~3 tablespoons organic salsa.

~4g carlsons fish oil

1 low carb monster at the office


Lunch:

Burger Salad
1/4lb grass fed beef patty, pan fried, covered in 1oz grated raw milk amish cheddar.
1 large handful fresh spinach
3 small campari tomatos, quartered
5-6 macadamia nuts
5-6 dried strawberries


Training: JJJ, the running and backing off the weights has me feeling different, limber/flexible, etc.


Dinner:

~1C 2% fat greek yogurt
~1C unsweetened vanilla almond milk
2 scoops vanilla whey isolate
1 banana
1 dash cinnamon
1 squirt vanilla extract

Too much whey, not for flavor sake, but for safety sake...

While this was blending, I noticed large clumps of the whey solidified against the side of the blender. Not wanting to waste this precious powder, I, like the unfettered genius that I am, decided to get a butter knife and gently scrape the whey off the side, while the fucking thing was running.

How natural selection hasn't removed me by this point in life baffles me...

Anyway, this is normally stupid, yet safe as long as you don't go too deep into the blender. I went too deep, AND the butter knife slipped out of my hand...

What resulted was the loudest, messiest explosion of white creamy sludge that has ever graced the earth next to Jasmine St. Claire's 600 man gangbang. In the microsecond it took me to lean toward the off button with my hand, the knife flew out of the blender past my face and the entire quadrant of my kitchen containing the blender was dripping in frothy, sticky jizz, including almost my entire upper body...

I had to move the fridge, and myriad other horrors, in order to clean up the sticky dairy.

I'm lucky to be alive, and I'm sure I'll be finding little drops of dried dairy product stuck to every nook-and-cranny of my kitchen for some time.

 

[10thpjj]

While this was blending, I noticed large clumps of the whey solidified against the side of the blender. Not wanting to waste this precious powder, I, like the unfettered genius that I am, decided to get a butter knife and gently scrape the whey off the side, while the fucking thing was running.

How natural selection hasn't removed me by this point in life baffles me...

Anyway, this is normally stupid, yet safe as long as you don't go too deep into the blender. I went too deep, AND the butter knife slipped out of my hand...

What resulted was the loudest, messiest explosion of white creamy sludge that has ever graced the earth next to Jasmine St. Claire's 600 man gangbang. In the microsecond it took me to lean toward the off button with my hand, the knife flew out of the blender past my face and the entire quadrant of my kitchen containing the blender was dripping in frothy, sticky jizz, including almost my entire upper body...

I had to move the fridge, and myriad other horrors, in order to clean up the sticky dairy.

I'm lucky to be alive, and I'm sure I'll be finding little drops of dried dairy product stuck to every nook-and-cranny of my kitchen for some time.

Lol Awesome! This is some shit that I'd pull! :icon_lol:

 

[immovablestone]

5/12

Breakfast:

Breakfast wrap from my favorite mom-and-pop diner in town. 3 eggs, american and cheddar cheeses, onions, peppers, mushrooms, and sausage.

1 low carb monster at the office


Lunch:

~6oz shrimp, dashed with Montreal and cooked in kerrygold butter and dumped on top of ~1.5C steamed broccoli.


Training: Initial preparation for my move next month.


Dinner:

Wasn't at home: Pork burrito and ~2pints find Belgian beer, and a handful of yogurt covered pretzels.

 

[10thpjj]

Lunch:

~6oz shrimp, dashed with Montreal and cooked in kerrygold butter and dumped on top of ~1.5C steamed broccoli.

Like the sound of that! I love me some shrimp!

 

[immovablestone]

5/13

Breakfast:

4 pastured eggs
1 oz grass fed raw amish cheddar
~3/4cup seasoned organic artichoke hearts

Scrambled eggs and cheese in ~1 tablespoon grass fed ghee, and put the artichokes on top. Interesting combo. I still have artichokes left, might cook the eggs sunny side up and try that out, so I can dredge the hearts in yolk.

1 low carb monster at the office.


Lunch:

~6oz wild caught shrimp, seasoned with some Montreal (this shit is even good on seafood damnit) and cooked in ghee.
1 pile (approximately 1.5C) of pistachio nuts, macadamia nuts, dried currants, and dried strawberries.

Also had a few small leftover yogurt covered pretzels I found.

This marks the last time I shall prepare uncooked shrimp with the shell on, it's too much of a pain in the ass to shell/devein them and they feel like bugs/grubs when you're doing it, pretty fucking gross until they're cooked.


Training: JJJ, holy fuck, need to run and lift moar... Did some Jeal Claude Van Damme stretches that have me feeling like I got kicked in the pussy this morning, and got caught in a heel hook that has my knee a bit fucked. Getting old sucks.


Dinner:

~1C 2% fat greek yogurt
~1C unsweetened vanilla almond milk
2 scoops vanilla whey isolate
1 dash cinnamin
1 spooge pure vanilla extract
1 banana

Swilled ~5g carlsons fish oil after the shake

 

[immovablestone]

5/14


Breakfast:

Breakfast wrap from my favorite mom-and-pop diner in town. 3 eggs, american and cheddar cheeses, onions, peppers, mushrooms, and sausage.

1 low carb monster at the office


Lunch:

Dudes at work dragged me to some diner they like, had a Hawaiian omelet.


Dinner:

Baked salmon wheels, feta/spinach/pepper filling, about the size of hockey pucks. Had 3 of them, I had 2, GF had one.

2 glasses of white wine then 2 pint glasses of Delirium Tremens.



5/15

Breakfast:


4 pastured eggs
1 oz raw amish cheddar
1 dash montreal

Eggs cooked in ~1 tablespoon organic grass fed ghee and covered in ~3 tablespoons organic salsa.

As I don't like to eat before I train, I had about 1.5 eggs worth of this, GF had ~2.5 eggs worth.

~4g carlsons fish oil. Fed about 1g to the GF after, her face was priceless.


Training: JJJ, worked with a man the size of Overeem the entire time, fuckin yikes.


Lunch/Dinner:

Plate of unbreaded buffalo wings and 2 alagash white drafts, then ate about half of the GF's dish, which was a crock of macaroni and cheese with BBQ chicken on top.

Later that night had some reduced calorie chips (I didnt even look to see what they were made out of) with some dip, along with some more Delirium Tremens and a Trappist Rochefort 8.



5/16

Breakfast:

1 low carb monster, and a protein wafer bar at the gym.


Training: 2 pushes, 2 pulls, was going to do squats and deads also but my knee and vagina were still fucked up from Thursdays class, plus they took an additional pounding on Saturday.


Lunch/Dinner:

Corned beef reuben and sweet potato fries.

Had a few squares of caramel filled chocolate while forcing the GF to sit through a documentary on the history of LSD.

 

[10thpjj]

~4g carlsons fish oil. Fed about 1g to the GF after, her face was priceless.

:icon_twis

My girlfriend just does not get nutrition. . . . .At all!

 

[immovablestone]

5/17

Been dealing with a rock-fucking-lobster sunburn over most of my body I got hanging around on Saturday and Sunday. I'm retarded. Jujitsu Tuesday night is going to SUCK.


Training: Run


Breakfast: The Shake.

~1C 2% fat greek yogurt
~1C unsweetened vanilla almond milk
2 scoops vanilla whey isolate
1 raw pastured egg
1 banana
1 dash cinnamon
1 squirt vanilla extract

Then swilled ~4-5g carlsons fish oil.

1 low carb monster when I got to the office.


Lunch:

4 pastured eggs
1oz organic raw milk sharp cheddar cheese
1C steamed broccoli

Scrambled eggs and cheese slowly in ~1 tablespoon grass fed ghee, topped with ~2-3 tablespoons of organic mild salsa, and served along side the broccoli.


Dinner:

6oz wild caught halibut, good shit.
1 handful seedless red grapes
1 handful walnuts

Had some reduced calorie chips and a few hundred calories of dip later on.

 

[immovablestone]

5/18


Breakfast:

4 pastured eggs
1oz organic raw milk sharp cheddar cheese
1C steamed broccoli

Scrambled eggs and cheese slowly in ~1 tablespoon grass fed ghee, topped with ~2-3 tablespoons of organic mild salsa, and served along side the broccoli.

1 diet coke at the office.


Lunch:

~5oz 75% lean grass fed ground beef, cooked up in a pan. Tossed in a couple large hands full of spinach to cook through with it, soaking up the delicious fat. Put that in a bowl and threw in one hand full of walnuts (gave em a quick crush in the hand to break them into large pieces).

This was fantastic. Finished with 1oz organic raw milk cheddar because I felt like tasting some cheese.


Training: Was supposed to be JJJ but couldn't make it due to massive accidents and shit on the highways, CT turns into Satans personal mosh pit when it rains.


Dinner: Diet Fail, ate like a fat 16 year old girl with no prom date.

1 Pork burrito. 4-5 glasses Delerium Tremens. Raw milk cheddar and club crackers. WHAT THE FUCK.


Lifestyle note: I absolutely can NOT wait to move at the end of next month. GF moving down here and our place out in the country has a garage that will house her little toyota, and a squat rack, pull up area, and set of kettlebells for me. No more of this commercial gym shit or inclement weather preventing me from working out at the park near my current shitty apartment complex. All of this will drastically effect my ability to maintain diet in a positive direction.

 

[immovablestone]

This is my diet from now until Sunday.

Pray for me.

 

[immovablestone]

^^^This is an accurate artistic representation of my diet until the last couple days. Injuries and immovablestone's psyche do not go well together.

6/1

Breakfast:

3 azuluna eggs
~.75 oz kerrygold dubliner cheese
1/2 tablespoon grass fed, raw ghee

Scrambled the above and put ~2tablespoons of salsa on top

~4g fish oil, 2 cod liver oil pills, and 2 extra strength aleve's for my knee/foot.

1 diet coke at the office.


Lunch:

1/2lb wild caught bay scallops, big fuckers.
~1.5C steamed broccoli

Fried up scallops in ~2oz kerrygold herb butter, poured scallops and butter over broccoli in a bowl. Scrumptious.


Ate 3-4 walnut halves before running out the door for training.

Training: JJJ, back in the dojo after fucking up my knee and foot, it did wonderful things for my spirit to be in a gi and on the mats, practicing chokes.


Dinner: Shake.

~1C 2% ***e greek yogurt
~1C unsweetened almond milk
1 raw azuluna egg
2 scoops no carb vanilla whey isolate
1 queef cinnamon
1 squirt vanilla extract

 

[Endo]

You're a weak pussy, and that's all you're ever gonna be...

 

[Endo]

Heyyy! Come on there "big guy"... Relax....

 

[immovablestone]

Hahah, nice. Negative reinforcement FTW!

Though I have been slovenly as of late due to injuries and my propensity to swill quality beer and horrific food whilst injured has certainly caused havoc on my flab, I shall remain positive now that I'm back in the saddle and my move out into the country draws near!

 

[Endo]

You've always got my support. Except when I dipped out last time. And the time before that... And maybe the time before that.

But yo! I got your back...

 

[immovablestone]

6/2

Breakfast:

4 azuluna eggs
~1.75 oz kerrygold dubliner cheese
1 tablespoon grass fed, raw ghee

Scrambled the above and put ~3tablespoons of salsa on top

~4g fish oil, 2 cod liver oil pills.

1 huge low carb monster at the office.


Lunch:

6oz wlid caught halibut.
~1.5C steamed broccoli

Baked halibut and steamed vegetables. Chopped up halibut and mixed in a bowl with broccoli right as both were done to melt 2oz kerrygold herb butter all over the mix. This was great.


Ate 3-4 walnut halves before running out the door for training.

Training: Weights and a little conditioning. Working the rust out of my left knee and foot, we're getting there.


Dinner: Shake.

~1C 2% ***e greek yogurt
~1C unsweetened almond milk
1 raw azuluna egg
2 scoops no carb vanilla whey isolate
1 dash cinnamon
1 splash vanilla extract

 

[Endo]

I hate how protein companies boast how low carb their powders are...