My son's mother is losing it.

[Phlog]

As I believe I might have told you before, this is the mother of your child and your child's best interests rest with her and you having a good relationship.

Now, the back story you intimate here suggests you may have had little choice but to head down this route. Taking that as read let's not look at what's been done, but what can be done.

First port of call is to talk to her. It's your primary interest that she be of sound mind and together and you may have power to influence this. If finances are a driving force in her current problems you can alleviate by offering to give back the child support, for now, until she's on her feet more. Giving back what you'd likely never see, trading for more in the future is just good business sense but it also aligns with your child's best interests.

I don't think you should get super involved or anything but it's worth asking if there's anything you can do to make things easier.

The visitation will be happening at her elder sisters, whether that is a safe environment is for you to determine.

I recommend not talking about her to others.

Bottom line, she will always be the child's mother and for the child's sake you should try to support her.

That is my opinion.

 

[Phlog]

I don't understand people bringing in personal problems in this place. You are just going to get ragdolled and rightfully so.

Nobody cares. Learn to imprint that truth in your head and heart.

Literally none of this is true.

 

[Graves The Elder]

she could always raise the chickens, now that they've come home

 

[wonderbread]

My son's mother hasn't exactly taken losing our custody case very well. I was named custodial parent not too long ago in family Court and also receive child support from her now. This is something that I'm sure she never in a million years thought was a possibility of ever happening.

My son's mother lives a very sheltered life and had minupulated her very small circle I to believing I was a total worthless douchebag. She is a very quite and meek person publicly and no one would ever believe the true person she is behind closed doors. It is why I had been secretly recording her constant mental and verbal abuse toward me.

In court it all came out and she could no longer fake the funk. The videos showed not only the insane verbal and mental abuse she put me through but her willingness to use our son as a weapon against me.

I recently spoke with her younger sister and she told me she has started to go off the deep end. She hasn't been to work in weeks and is currently in the process of moving in with her older sister. She is also already a month behind on her child support. She says her family still is supportive but feels mislead and unwilling to blindly believe her when it comes to the things she tells them...even though they still hate me. My life since leaving her has gotten better and hers much worse and she doesn't seem to have taken responsibility for that shift in circumstances according to her sister.

Not sure what to do. I couldn't stop the child support if I wanted too which I don't! I also don't want to stop or lessen her visitations which is 3 days a week for her but with her not having her own place soon it doesn't exactly make me feel comfortable.

It's hard to feel sorry for her but I do. I warned her hundreds of times during our relationship that things weren't going to turn out well for her and that she would have to face consequences for her actions and now the chickens have come to roost.

She sounds like a cunt. Karma is awesome.

 

[Lodbrok]

My son's mother hasn't exactly taken losing our custody case very well. I was named custodial parent not too long ago in family Court and also receive child support from her now. This is something that I'm sure she never in a million years thought was a possibility of ever happening.

My son's mother lives a very sheltered life and had minupulated her very small circle I to believing I was a total worthless douchebag. She is a very quite and meek person publicly and no one would ever believe the true person she is behind closed doors. It is why I had been secretly recording her constant mental and verbal abuse toward me.

In court it all came out and she could no longer fake the funk. The videos showed not only the insane verbal and mental abuse she put me through but her willingness to use our son as a weapon against me.

I recently spoke with her younger sister and she told me she has started to go off the deep end. She hasn't been to work in weeks and is currently in the process of moving in with her older sister. She is also already a month behind on her child support. She says her family still is supportive but feels mislead and unwilling to blindly believe her when it comes to the things she tells them...even though they still hate me. My life since leaving her has gotten better and hers much worse and she doesn't seem to have taken responsibility for that shift in circumstances according to her sister.

Not sure what to do. I couldn't stop the child support if I wanted too which I don't! I also don't want to stop or lessen her visitations which is 3 days a week for her but with her not having her own place soon it doesn't exactly make me feel comfortable.

It's hard to feel sorry for her but I do. I warned her hundreds of times during our relationship that things weren't going to turn out well for her and that she would have to face consequences for her actions and now the chickens have come to roost.

Dude, for the sake of your kid, play the game!

Woman:

 

[equus]

I don't understand people bringing in personal problems in this place. You are just going to get ragdolled and rightfully so.

Nobody cares. Learn to imprint that truth in your head and heart.

people asking advice here is literally no different than asking your neighbor advice. alot of people here are closer to each other than some in real life. you giving your 2 bits here is no different than someone asking advice.

 

[DespicablePeep]

when sad in life just wallmart!

 

[RerouteToRemain]

My son's mother hasn't exactly taken losing our custody case very well. I was named custodial parent not too long ago in family Court and also receive child support from her now. This is something that I'm sure she never in a million years thought was a possibility of ever happening.

My son's mother lives a very sheltered life and had minupulated her very small circle I to believing I was a total worthless douchebag. She is a very quite and meek person publicly and no one would ever believe the true person she is behind closed doors. It is why I had been secretly recording her constant mental and verbal abuse toward me.

In court it all came out and she could no longer fake the funk. The videos showed not only the insane verbal and mental abuse she put me through but her willingness to use our son as a weapon against me.

I recently spoke with her younger sister and she told me she has started to go off the deep end. She hasn't been to work in weeks and is currently in the process of moving in with her older sister. She is also already a month behind on her child support. She says her family still is supportive but feels mislead and unwilling to blindly believe her when it comes to the things she tells them...even though they still hate me. My life since leaving her has gotten better and hers much worse and she doesn't seem to have taken responsibility for that shift in circumstances according to her sister.

Not sure what to do. I couldn't stop the child support if I wanted too which I don't! I also don't want to stop or lessen her visitations which is 3 days a week for her but with her not having her own place soon it doesn't exactly make me feel comfortable.

It's hard to feel sorry for her but I do. I warned her hundreds of times during our relationship that things weren't going to turn out well for her and that she would have to face consequences for her actions and now the chickens have come to roost.

Try to get full custody asap.

 

[Lodbrok]

people asking advice here is literally no different than asking your neighbor advice. alot of people here are closer to each other than some in real life. you giving your 2 bits here is no different than someone asking advice.

Oof

 

[Imalive]

As I believe I might have told you before, this is the mother of your child and your child's best interests rest with her and you having a good relationship.

Now, the back story you intimate here suggests you may have had little choice but to head down this route. Taking that as read let's not look at what's been done, but what can be done.

First port of call is to talk to her. It's your primary interest that she be of sound mind and together and you may have power to influence this. If finances are a driving force in her current problems you can alleviate by offering to give back the child support, for now, until she's on her feet more. Giving back what you'd likely never see, trading for more in the future is just good business sense but it also aligns with your child's best interests.

I don't think you should get super involved or anything but it's worth asking if there's anything you can do to make things easier.

The visitation will be happening at her elder sisters, whether that is a safe environment is for you to determine.

I recommend not talking about her to others.

Bottom line, she will always be the child's mother and for the child's sake you should try to support her.

That is my opinion.

Yes, she is the mother of my child and always will be but with that said she has gotten pretty much all the "help" she is going to get from me any time soon. She tried to destroy me and it's something I will never forget. If things went her way despite being a great dad and not just because I'm around but because I'm very good at it, I probably wouldn't get to see my son at all!

Giving her money isn't going to help her. She has a kid and she needs to step her game up just like I would have had to. I pay most of his expenses, care for him during the day 40 hours a week and bust my ass to keep my business growing and profitable which is all fucking HARD! So her having to pay child support and having to deal with a situation she created isn't exactly making my heart bleed too hard.

I absolutely don't intend to make things harder for her but making things she caused better is not on the top of my to do list.

 

[Imalive]

Try to get full custody asap.

If she keep going down hill it's something I might consider but nothing I'm anywhere close to considering at the moment. Everyone has low points in their life it doesn't mean they don't deserve to be with their kids regularly.

She has had the rug pulled out from under her with her actions and it's natural not to take it well at first. As my sonset mother she deserves the opportunity to get her shit together before I bring the state back into my family's life.

 

[Smashandgrab]

I'll tell you what I've learned in the past 9 months - women are crazy.

 

[DaleBoca]

Lol@receiving child support from a woman.

Good grief.

 

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

I had a similar situation with my ex, but we have shared custody of our daughter.
I think the ex is *somewhere* on the bipolar spectrum. I think she should be on meds, sounds like your wife needs some meds.

 

[OverCoronavirus Pressure]

Lol@receiving child support from a woman.

Good grief.

If anything is laughable it's that she lost custody and has to pay him.
In most states you have to present pretty convincing evidence that the woman is unfit.
I'll bet the judge was convinced.

 

[Imalive]

Lol@receiving child support from a woman.

Good grief.

What's the problem with it?

 

[DaleBoca]

What's the problem with it?

When she doesn't pay, it becomes another headache. Id personally cut ties with her at all costs, the less contact, the better. I wouldn't accept a dime from a woman. I find it embarrassing that I wouldn't be able to take care of my child on my own dollar. But that's just me.

 

[Tamriel Terror]

I literally disagree with a lot of what controversial topics you post @Imalive but it seems like you do best by your son, and that your ex is a psychopath. Congrats on getting away from her and congrats on improving your life. Gotta cut the negative people out of your life, I did that also and I'm doing better now than ever before.

Best of luck to you and your kid.

 

[Imalive]

If anything is laughable it's that she lost custody and has to pay him.
In most states you have to present pretty convincing evidence that the woman is unfit.
I'll bet the judge was convinced.

In our state a father and mother have every the exact same rights to custody. We have as close to 50/50 custody split as possible but I was named the custodial parent because A) I was his primary care provider as a stay at home parent and B)I was the parent most likely to support our child's contact with the other parent.

The videos I had taken sealed the deal. They could care less about how she personally treated me but her verbal abuse toward me in front of our son and her willingness to use him to get her way sealed her fate. Plus I'm an awesome dad and had the records for every thing we did together during the day and they could see how dedicated I was toward wanting what was best for him.

They key was to get the Guardian ad litem on my side which considering the facts wasn't hard.

 

[Imalive]

When she doesn't pay, it becomes another headache. Id personally cut ties with her at all costs, the less contact, the better. I wouldn't accept a dime from a woman. I find it embarrassing that I wouldn't be able to take care of my child on my own dollar. But that's just me.

It's not like I can just "cut ties" with her she is the mother of my son and we see each other at least 3 times a week.

I get you wouldn't take child support from a woman, lots of men think like you and that is why we as a whole get screwed over by the system. My lawyer basically told me it's not even an realistic option to not file for child support and only a fool wouldnt.