How do you want to die?

HI SCOTT NEWMAN said:
Peacefully in bed, under the cover in my sleep. no pain and no hurt.

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TheNinja said:
A parachute not opening… that’s a way to die. Getting caught in the gears of a combine… having your nuts bit off by a Laplander, that’s the way I wanna go!
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One of the funniest skits on The Man Show was about a company Die Like a Man. The premise was that once you get old enough that you are just waiting to die some "specialists" come to take care of you (stage your death).

The list involved things like:
shark attack
crocodile attack
sky diving accident
Nascar accident
bungee jumping accident
mob hit
military training accident
Karate demo accident

There was a bunch more but I can't remember em all.
 
Waiting in line to get my head cut off while I see my fellow soldiers getting theirs off first, and seeing it all happen knowing I'm next. Pretty much exactly like that Dagestan Massacre video..Once I saw that, I told myself that's definitely the exact way I want to die. Think about the emotions and adrenaline you'd be feeling, god damn...
 
The males in my family live long and fruitful lives and have died at peace in their sleep surrounded by loved ones.

But that was when times were simpler.

They didn't pump their bodies full of steroids, take copious amounts of pills, coke and uppers during their early years.

They didn't train MMA and take too many direct strikes to the head.

They weren't addicted to 40+ sleeping tablets a night for 2 years.

They didn't know what fast food was.

They didn't have to take 3 viagra to get a hard on.

Screw old age. Bring on the massive heart attack at 45 whilst banging a Scandinavian prostitute in a run down house on the outskirts of the city!

I wish I could see my wife's face when she gets 'that call'.
 
ClubFoot said:
The males in my family live long and fruitful lives and have died at peace in their sleep surrounded by loved ones.

But that was when times were simpler.

They didn't pump their bodies full of steroids, take copious amounts of pills, coke and uppers during their early years.

They didn't train MMA and take too many direct strikes to the head.

They weren't addicted to 40+ sleeping tablets a night for 2 years.

They didn't know what fast food was.

They didn't have to take 3 viagra to get a hard on.

Screw old age. Bring on the massive heart attack at 45 whilst banging a Scandinavian prostitute in a run down house on the outskirts of the city!

I wish I could see my wife's face when she gets 'that call'.
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the roids and coke are why you need that viagra. stay strong my friend
 
In my sleep. Hopefully soonish.
 
guard_passer said:
the roids and coke are why you need that viagra. stay strong my friend
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I know, but I'm not getting any younger either.

But I'm not complaining.

Bring it on.
 
In a car crush when i am 120.
 
In any way that I don't become a burden to my family.

Phlog said:
Like my grandfather.

He got up out of bed, went and sat in his chair by the aga (range) and passed away in the small hours.

He obviously didn't want my grandmother to wake up next to his corpse.

Like a boss, no muss, no fuss.
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Like a boss indeed.
 
When my time comes, that's how I wanna go, stoned and fat and wealthy and sittin on the bowl.

Just like the king-Elvis
 
Arnold, Sylvester, Chuck and I are on a secret mission to stop a nuclear attack, and we all die on said mission, deep within North Korea.

New Mount Rushmore gets made with the four of us gracing it.
 
I think I'm gonna find out tonight
 
How do I want to die?

Not on stage like you just did.
 
Like Richard Pryor's Dad

He came and went at the same time
 
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